Domestic your ex sounds appalling, really, truly horrible. Just do whatever it takes now to get rid of him. My ex hung on and on about selling a property, messed about for years just so he could have a hold over me. The feeling when it sold last December was indescribable. Such relief.
Everyone else - sorry for the house moan. It's silly and in the grand scheme of things it doesn't matter. And I found the big house and garden hard to clean and maintain by myself, so I think it's a case of the grass is always greener. This house is bloody depressing though. Have spent loads of money on rewiring and things that don't show, but I'm tackling it a room at a time now. I paid off my ex and although sometimes it hurts me to realise what a ride he took me for, when we were together and afterwards, my god it would be worth twice that amount just to be rid of him.
Just realising I'm not alone is one of the best things about this thread. Thank you everyone.
Dd has told me what it was. Not good by a long chalk, but sadly nothing new and nothing that wasn't surpassed by the stuff that I did find out about a long while ago and that's all been through the proper channels with the police etc. So nothing more to be done other than trying to comfort her. What memories she has to live with 
but I am hoping the future will be better and that she'll never find herself in that situation again with any man.
Missed a call from LM earlier. He's very supportive about this sort of thing but I'm not up to talking at the moment without bursting into tears and I don't want to do that on him again today. I think I will phone him back after tea.