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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Kicking The Wine Witch Into Touch!

999 replies

Mouseface · 23/01/2013 17:50

Hello, I'm Mouse Smile

Welcome to the Bus. We're a group of posters who have been on a journey to here, there and everywhere when it comes to alcohol and the abusing of it.

Some of us drink, some of us don't at all and some of us are trying to get there, really trying to just stop the cycle, break the habit and calm everything down. Some of us are desperate to not be 'that' person anymore.

One Day At A Time or ODAAT.

So what have you got to lose? Weight? Saggy, puffy eyes each morning? False friends? The risk of cancers and other fatal illnesses......... why not join us?

We have a resident MonsterCat, Wolf called Seth and Squid called Barry (best not to ask about Barry! Grin)

And, if you want to see where we've been so far, the links below will show you. The first ever thread is the best by far, because the OP is just like you. And me.

FIRST EVER THREAD

PREVIOUS THREAD

OP posts:
curryeater · 03/02/2013 21:00

Good evening all familiar babes and welcome! new ones.

Just checking in to say hi. Really not well, my eyes are full of pus, DP and I have been dragging ourselves through the last couple of days on our knees. Still it will all be over soon - surely...

Here's wishing you all strong fighting spirit for the week ahead.

HueyMorganismyboyfriend · 03/02/2013 21:11

joey the way I treat the future is preparing what I can such as ironing my clothes and planning what I plan to teach. The rest will happen tomorrow and tomorrow ain't here yet. So not worrying about it until it happens is my plan.

Wasn't a dig at you hunny. Just tomorrow will hopefully be another milestone in my sober life.

A good friend likened her 'head' as a bad neighbourhood and not to go in their alone... If you are suffering from anxiety, ring a friend post on here and share the burden xxx

aliasjoey · 03/02/2013 22:01

huey no worries, it's great to be constantly trying to improve! And your next comment about not worrying until it happens is EXACTLY what we always talk about on the Bus - One Day At a Time, so I should already know that, and thank you for reminding me.

mouse yeah DH doesn't really like me listening to Dr David when we're in bed Grin

Your poor little Nemo, hope he manages to settle now.

ThisIsMyTime · 03/02/2013 22:09

Well it's the end of day 3 for me usual end up drinking wen I get to day 4 so tomorrow a presume will be difficult but I feel commited hope all is ok just going to have a cup of tea after another 15 hour shift in work

ohcluttergotme · 04/02/2013 06:16

Morning brave babes huey huge good luck for this morning sweetie, is amazing what you can achieve when not drinking.
Altho I didn't feel awful yesterday I still had a dreadful nights sleep probably due to wine drunk in Saturday night. Very anxious & worried about work today. Really want to phone in sick but can't. Think tomorrow will go see GP to see if I can get a short dose of something that will help me sleep & work on my anxious feelings.
Good luck for today brave babes Smile

determinedma · 04/02/2013 08:15

morning all
Day 1 again here and its snowing! a day "off" work today to take mum to a funeral and then dad to the hospital. It's going to be a tough one............

babyjane1 · 04/02/2013 09:12

Morning all, just a quick pop in to say have a great day, .mouse I hope nemo is a wee bit better today, he is a very brave little fella? I'm astounded at how much time and energy you give us with all you have to deal with. You are a super duper babe!!! Catch up later x x x

Lemonylemon · 04/02/2013 09:46

Morning All!

It's "kind of" Day 9 here. I had 1 glass on Saturday night. That is all. I had it in 2 halves. I didn't want any more. So got back on to the Tesco "Cherries & Berries" cordial watered down with sparking water. I think my skin is improving. I was certainly very proud of myself waking up at 6am on Sunday and feeling "normal".

I can lie on my right hand side again too - which I couldn't before, because of stomach acid gathering because of the alcohol....

Mouse Hope that Nemo is recovering.
Determined (you were Demented before, weren't you?) Hope today goes as well as it can.

To all you other babes - keep it up. You can do it. ODAT.

Twogoodreasons · 04/02/2013 09:50

Morning all. Monday morning without a hangover!

I'm right at the start of my journey and so I have no useful advice to pass on to anyone else, but I am reading your stories with interest. It feels good to have somewhere to report back to and to hear how others are coping in similar circumstances.

I haven't told DH yet about my strategy to reduce my drinking. I couldn't find the words last night and I questioned why. I think it makes it more official and will make it far more humiliating if I fail. I also don't fancy the idea of someone 'watching' me IYSWIM. He does know that I am unhappy about the amount that I drink as we have discussed it previously. I know it bothers him too, I just don't know if I want to bring him in on the 'plan'!

Plan for this week is to stick to fizzy water mon-wed, then a couple of glasses of wine at a meal out on Thurs night. I know I won't go mad because I am working the next day. Then I may allow myself a couple of glasses one day at the weekend, but only if DH wants to join me.

Mouseface · 04/02/2013 10:10

Morning, tis me, Mouse

Huey - good luck for today's milestone Smile I like your friend's 'head' analogy. I can certainly relate to that.

Ma - I'll be thinking of you today lovely..... big hugs. xx

Curry - poor you and DH! You both sound dreadfully ill, have you got any antibiotics? REST! Can you do shifts with life? One of you does what's needed and the other rests and then swap? I hope you feel better soon xx

Baby - I'm used to it now, the care that Nemo needs. I'm not being flippant about it, I hate it when he's ill but it's part of who I am now and who he is too. Smile

If I wasn't in so much pain and my back was okay, I'd love to re-train at some point to be a children's nurse of some sort..... I'd love to be able to give something back.

Joey - hmm, yes, one man in bed is enough for sure! Grin Dr David sounds interesting though Wink

Clutter - I was on sleeping tablets at the start of Citalopram which I took for anxiety for a while.... they made me really jumpy at first and I just couldn't sleep because I'd stopped the booze so yep, go and have that chat about not sleeping and see if the GP will give you a short course of something for a week and then maybe you could go back and re-assess how you feel?

I've kept Nemo off school today because his glue ear is bad, he said "I poorly Mamma bear, I need my bed to snuggle me" this morning. DH and I were both up with him, he had a raging temp and is coughing, which means his reflux returns. So, I'm sat in his bed with him with my Netbook whilst he watches Big Barn Farm for the MILLIONTH time! Grin

He has just said that he needs snuggles please so I'm off for a while.

5:2 weigh in was the same as last week, 9st 12lbs.... nothing lost but nothing gained. I'm not doing it this week because it's DD's 14th Shock Birthday and we have family coming and friends for most of the week so the diet is out, careful, sensible eating is in for a week. Smile

Back soon xxxx

OP posts:
greeneyed · 04/02/2013 10:12

Morning babes - tired - two day hangover here. Day 2, onwards and upwards.

Run did you see the brightside yoga video I posted?, think you might like here

Ma glad to hear your brother is back in touch and hopefully taking steps forward.

Purple If you are lurking - hope you are okay honey x

greeneyed · 04/02/2013 10:13

Try again!

FlouncingMintyy · 04/02/2013 10:21

Hello babes, regular lurking Mintyy here. I am going to come back to the bus more permanently because something really terrible and drink-related happened at the weekend and dh and I have to make big life changes or separate! Sad.

Dh has announced that he is giving up alcohol. I know this is because he is filled with remorse over what he did (got extremely pissed and hit me, basically) but he has also come to realise that drink makes him grumpy, paranoid and occasionally verbally aggressive with other people.

Do you think I should stop drinking completely to keep him company? I don't feel particularly supportive or empathetic towards him at the moment, in truth I don't know if I want to stay married to him any more, but I do want him to stop drinking if he has made his decision.

I think I probably know what the answer is ...

greeneyed · 04/02/2013 10:26

Hugs minty do you want to give up drinking, is drinking a problem for you personally?

KoalaKube · 04/02/2013 10:30

Morning Babes had a lovely weekend with my girls really fab and chilled went to see Les Mis cooked together and even made flapjacks - delicious.
going to AA lunchtime and then working this afternoon. Today is Day 53 - can't quite believe that drunken me seems to be fading and I'm finding new coping strategies and keeping busy. The WW tried to woo me after I dropped the girls off yesterday afternoon - I'd usually be really sad and get a couple of bottles in to blank it all out, but I ignored her and just carried on. My newfound confidence in actually achieving this was just too strong for her this time. Ma are we still bootcamping ? I have officially this morning lost 1 stone since stopping drinking - that includes 4llbs on the 5:2 so I will continue with that as well. Still look pregnant my tummy is fat fat fat - tried the size 14 dress on and it zips up but belly looks a bit ridiculous so its still hanging there waiting patiently. Another stat to keep me going I have also saved £700 by not drinking wine - although its been swallowed by the overdraft and my treats, so not actually 'saved' but I am still giving myself a treat a week - because I'm worth it! Treats have been new haircut, lovely perfume, 2 new jumpers, new dress (see above) newish raincoat (ebay), new boots (1/2 price in sale), expensive F&B paint for hall and stairs. Don't know what to treat myself this week I don't actually 'need' anything, but it wouldn't be a treat if I did.

I WILL NOT BE DRINKING TODAY.

FlouncingMintyy · 04/02/2013 10:36

Hello greeneyed, yes it is something I have to control (I mostly succeed) but when I first joined the bus a couple of years ago I did wonder what it would be like to give up completely one day and could see myself doing it at some unspecified point in the future ... I am not sure I can get my head round the idea, tbh.

greeneyed · 04/02/2013 10:36

Koala I love you! You are so positive - don't think I've ever heard you complain!

You've kicked a three bottle a day habit, saved £700, decorated the house, lost a stone!! You are fucking brilliant! :)

FlouncingMintyy · 04/02/2013 10:38

Yy Koala. Didn't mean to "step over" your post. It takes me ages to get the words out!

Thanks for Koala, why not buy yourself some gorgeous indulgent flowers this week?

determinedma · 04/02/2013 10:42

koala you are just amazing. seriously. lost for words.......
to whoever asked, yes I was dementedma - still am in some ways, but hoped being determined by name would rub off on me a bit. Doesnt seem to have done though, as boot camp has lapsed a bit.I did lose 6lbs but suspect I have put it all back on again.
green are you ok?
minty sounds like you have more than one issue going on here. do you WANT so stay with DH, if drink wasnt a factor?

eminemmerdale · 04/02/2013 10:45

Absolutley amazing work koala

KoalaKube · 04/02/2013 10:54

Thanks lovelies - If I hadn't found the bus and JWN's first thread I doubt I'd have had the balls to do the detox alone, your support has always been fantastic and even though I don't contribute much - please know I am always around lurking and reading and thinking of you all.

Green was it self medicating for your poor tummy? I've not had gastritis but was taking omezaprole for ages because docs thought my problems were GERD related - guess what - no booze no need for medication anymore.

greeneyed · 04/02/2013 11:08

Thanks for Asking Ma and Koala I am okay - big night out on Saturday and much alcohol consumed. Could have been worse and I managed to get through yesterday okay and actually achieve some stuff so wasn't a complete write off - today I am still feeling jaded and yes my gastritis is BAD - I know if I stop drinking altogether it will probably go.

DH was far worse for wear , though thankfully that led to us leaving so I couldn't drink more. He actually said yesterday he wanted to change his lifestyle and was sick of getting drunk - first time he has said this so that's a positive - think I'll show him the video I keep posting Grin

I have just cancelled a girlie night out next weekend - I know I can't moderate so unless I want to feel like this again next week (or worse) it's the only option for now, they'll try to cajole me into changing my mind - I've just said I can't drink will have to say doctors orders for my stomach or something (not far from truth).

Long answer, yes I am okay just the same old merrygo round and
also it's supposed to be a fast day and I've had two breakfasts, lunch and some chocolate already!!

FlouncingMintyy · 04/02/2013 11:09

I don't know ma, about staying together Sad, head is in a spin. Got a lot to think about. Am logging off for today, will be back later.

Happy alcohol-free days to everyone! That berries and cherries cordial mentioned earlier sounds nice.

Lemonylemon · 04/02/2013 11:36

Mintyy {{hug}}

aliasjoey · 04/02/2013 12:05

morning brave babes and hugs to you minty - I have no advice really, but it sounds like you are ready to make some big changes...

My controlled drinking last night was a disaster. I only had 500ml, (2 large glasses) but did exactly what I wanted to avoid ie. stay up late. Also didn't sleep well, although that wasn't Dr David's fault - I decided to ditch him in favour of the other podcast which has a very sexy doctor with a scottish accent (don't know his name!)

on top of that, having a busy and stressful day at work - and my immediate reaction is to think I should get some wine for this evening! Four sober weeks undone by one single night!

Am trying to relax and not get wound up about work. Wibble.