The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Kicking The Wine Witch Into Touch!

[Mouseface]

Hello, I'm Mouse

Welcome to the Bus. We're a group of posters who have been on a journey to here, there and everywhere when it comes to alcohol and the abusing of it.

Some of us drink, some of us don't at all and some of us are trying to get there, really trying to just stop the cycle, break the habit and calm everything down. Some of us are desperate to not be 'that' person anymore.

One Day At A Time or ODAAT.

So what have you got to lose? Weight? Saggy, puffy eyes each morning? False friends? The risk of cancers and other fatal illnesses......... why not join us?

We have a resident MonsterCat, Wolf called Seth and Squid called Barry (best not to ask about Barry! )

And, if you want to see where we've been so far, the links below will show you. The first ever thread is the best by far, because the OP is just like you. And me.

FIRST EVER THREAD

PREVIOUS THREAD

ma was it about Barry and his tentacles of luuuuurrrrve?

mouse you have such a brilliant way of putting things. We have all shared and shared honestly about alcohol. I suspect that the lovely bus has saved my health and sanity (what's left of it anyway). How's nemo today? How are you?

Hidden drinking? Very interesting topic because owning up to that is as honest as it gets. I was fairly sure I didn't drink THAT much but y'know I didn't always factor in the sneaky glasses while I was getting ready to go out. I might only have a couple of glasses while I was out and then guess what I would reward myself with when I got back in? That's easily a whole bottle on a good night out (probably more). The following night I would have my usual 2 glasses and think it was all fine...

Well I'm not drinking today and I'm really pleased. The ww hasn't even bothered me the last few evenings. So there ww!

.

Hello purple ? You okay?

Umm I shouldn't have been slapped with Barry, it was only my diet that failed, not the controlled drinking! Never mind, maybe I could try healthy eating for Lent? No chocolate? [Shock] that's almost as hard as giving up wine

Tonight - going out for a meal with in-laws. Plan not to drink, although I still have to use alcohol as a reward (tomorrow) for not drinking tonight... my MIL has noticed that I'm no longer drinking around them, but I think DH just told her it was for health reasons, he didn't mention that it was partly to do with her! No that's wrong, I shouldn't blame her for my own issues - I just mean that I become worse around her. It's MY responsibility to drink sensibly or stay sober, not hers

mouse how is Nemo today?

Thanks Gugg & Mouse, was in a real downer yesterday & toddler had melt down at dentist & I had to carry him head first out the door whilst dentist still trying to talk to me was actually shaky when I got in Been making huge effort today to be more patient with him & he has been much calmer.
Dh is taking ds out today so will have a few hours but have a job interview on Wednesday so going to read up for that. I feel like I'm putting myself under loads of pressure but finding my job difficult so trying to change but looking & interviews is stressful. Aw well maybe I'll win the lotto & can be a lady wot lunches like JWN!
Mouse hope Nemo's doing better, must be so stressful over the winter months, here's hoping spring comes soon.
Purple, how's things with you? Hope that things improving (( ))
X

Purple - Marking your spot? What's up lovely or can't you talk now? xx

Joey - you were slapped with Barry for moaning that you'd failed at something, and for thinking that you don't motivate others because you do, in not so many words. No nastiness intended xx

Well done on taking responsibility for your drinking around your MIL, it is up to you..... we all have our triggers, human or otherwise!

Gugg - good on you for not drinking over a weekend, I used to find that really hard until I realised that it was everyone else's excuse to get wasted, and not mine. I could manage that all on my own on any given evening!

Clutter - Good luck for Wednesday, you are under so much pressure right now. Remember that they wanted to see you for the job so they must like what they've seen so far! Well done on marching said toddler out! You have to do it, regardless of the staring others, eye rollers, whispers....... balls to em. It's YOU who has to deal with him when you get to the car and try to drive home or whatever.

And yes to the calm paying off. I get frustrated with Nemo because there are lots of things he just doesn't 'get' IYSWIM. He doesn't things that his peers does which frustrates him too so we have to work things out together.

I learnt when he was born when I had to be shouty mummy on his behalf and soothing mummy when he needed to feel safe, certain and secure. It's the little things that matter, that make the difference between a meltdown and a cuddle. Not always, but if you can head it off, and learn how to step out of your own screaming head for a few minutes to calm your thoughts, then go for it!

Thank you to those asking after Nemo - he's brighter today, last night was better but we're having a bit of a battle today as he doesn't understand he has to wait for something to arrive in the post if it's been ordered off line.

Meltdowns x2 so far, mummy walking away slowly and coming back to cuddle him once he's calmed x2. It's not easy is it?

need yes, I'll be your dry buddy if you will join me in the couch to 5k? . I'll be your buddy anyway, don't worry. Going to start the C25k again this weekend and see how I get on. Am right back at 90% walking and 10% slow wobblingjogging but I've been here before and done it so can do it again.
PMSL @ guggs and the tentacles of luuuurve.

Ma - you HAVE done it before so CAN do it again.

Any news on your Brother lovely? Is he still at your mum's?

I got on the scales this morning, my weight is creeping up again (mostly due to bowel issues thanks to the increase in morphine) and decided that I'm deffo going to start 5:2 again from Monday. I need to. I have an induction at the gym/spa place on Friday at 1pm and I'm hoping that they are going to see just how bad I am and how little of the equipment I can use, therefore doing me a good deal.

If our local pool/gym had a sauna/jacuzzi/steam room/heated pool, I'd go there but the membership is still almost £350 per year and it's a local authority leisure centre! All they have is a gym and swimming pool that is feckin Arctic, at best! Brrrr.

I need to build my core strength up to support my spine (way, way easier said than done with the pain) because as the name suggests, Degenerative Disc Disease, it's not going to get any better any time soon.

When I saw my MRI, I saw the extent of the problem. People say 'why not just have the surgery rather than be in pain and moaning on all of the bloody time'

It's not that easy. I'd be out of action for 6 months (rehab, no lifting, hospital for at least 2/3 weeks etc), my own GP said he wouldn't have the op, it might give me up to 70 - 75% pain relief, and I have a 1 in 20 chance of paralysis. Permanently.

There are days when I can not move. At all. I have to do my own Drill. It's horrific and the attacks are getting worse, much closer together.

I'm at the docs Monday so will check he's happy for me to start at the gym/pool (no breast stroke due to the pressure on the spine in that position) plus I get my LFT back, and my bloods for my menopause check. All jolly, happy, smiley, good fun!

We were going to have a date night tonight but I said to DH we should wait until we are ALL better. So, sometime in June then?

Thanks Lovelies.

Head is just such a mess just now. Too much pressure. Life is throwing bad stuff and more bad stuff at me. Got a huge case of the 'Poor Me's'. Currently wearing the upholstery out on my seat in the sidecar. House inspection went well yesterday (following two full-on, manic days of spring cleaning) so hoping for some of the hand-wringing to subside.

Love to everyone. xxxxx

Oh Purple

You have so much to deal with at least the house inspection is one less worry?

It doesn't matter if you're drinking, it matters that you keep posting or saying the words out loud! Side car or not, you're welcome here, you know that. Keep posting when you're up to it, let it all out where no-one will judge you, or expect anything from you.

Maybe, when you feel ready, post what's going on, why you feel so pressured at the moment and why life is battling against you?

Sometimes it's better to let a bunch of lovely strangers on a huge imaginary Bus in, just a tad, to see a different perspective on the things that are swimming around your head again and again at 3am?!

Massive hugs to you xx

mouss purple ma clutter needs gugg faire alias baby this tiger I bet I've missed someone out - forgive me. Just want to say hello and you are all brilliant - all coping with different stresses and strains and worries and cares and still here to be supportive . I hope everyone is having a day full of hope. It has been sunny here and dd has been out all day and last night so dh and I have started 'Operation House' Got loads done and now exhausted. Day 4 and thinking it would be nce to have a drink...but it will be nicer not to. Strerngth to you all xx

Thoughts swimming at 3am!? Mouse you know me so well! xxx

The 'massive hugs' help, thank you Mouse, Sweetpea. Thanks for the mention emin xxx

Thank you, too Clutter and Joey. xxxxx

Thanks mouse ! I am NOT going to drink tonight. (Keep saying it over and over until it's definitely in my head) Thought about getting in my wine for tomorrow, but it would have meant making a special trip to a shop we weren't going to, and it just didn't seem worth it.

My mind is boggling at having written that last sentence! It didn't seem worth it! It didn't seem WORTH it!

Well, if you're anything like me Purple, the small, dark hours of the night are when I get myself best whipped up into a frenzy of 'OFFS' or Oh For Fecks Sakes and the world is usually written off by 5am!

Nemo has earache again. I wish he didn't suffer so much. More paracetamol!

Aww purple I hope things look brighter for you in the morning

Birch twigs and lots of self-flagelation goes on in the wee hours. It's the loneliest time in the whole world. Hope you and Nemo get some respite from the earache Mouse. Thanks lovely Joey. xxxxx

(Mental not actual flagellation!)

Bro is doing a lot better it would seem, and has a man coming out to see him on Wednesday to talk to him and take him to a meeting. We took him to the park today for a walk and he walks slowly and painfully like someone in their 70s.however, I saw him in the local store this afternoon - he didn't see me - and he was buying a bottle of wine which is OK and "allowed" at the moment. BUT, there was at least one small bottle also in his bag....so is he carefully sipping his one allowed bottle, while
secretly necking little bottles to top himself up and lying about it? Mums is happy that he seems to be getting better - should I whistle blow about the little bottles?

See, I had a mental image of you beating some strapping young thang in the wee small hours for not meeting your needs!

Also, whilst we're on the subject of the wee small hours, has anyone had a really unsettled, can't get comfy, tossing and turning night after just one drink?

Almost as if that one drink isn't enough or two much? I had a glass of wine with dinner (what I ate of it, I'm struggling with eating atm) and I swear it was a gawd awful night!

I last had a glass of red on Tuesday when I was out with the Committee but I really struggled to settle, had a night of fits and starts, just like when I gave up the vodka nailing of almost 90 units a week. WTF is that all about? I can happily have a drink other nights, or a pint in the pub on a Sunday and call it a day, need no more and sleep just fine or have none at all and sleep fine, but last night was horrid. I was itchy almost, I hated being in my own skin, does that make sense to anyone?

I know that my hormones are all over the place but last night was like torture. I was actually scared at one point as to what was wrong with me!

Drama Queen

So sorry Ma. Maybe mention you saw the 'little bottle' to DB??!! xxx

Mouse I have long since forgotten what the hell to do with a 'strapping young thang' much less the inclination! And, yes, know the irritation of having 'just the one' and still having a disturbed night. Mind you, if sleeping were and exam - I would get a 'U'! And I, too, get the itchy thing sometimes - especially my feet and toes?!! xxx

Hi all, am def in the side car for tonight! have been good all week then suddenly its the weekend and all good intentions are gone .
Im allowing myself a bottle of wine... but I will stop at that. For one am at work in the morning so need to be functional.
cluttergotme I can totally relate to the toddler meltdown situ. My little one is four and just before Christmas was out shopping with him in Sainsburys, he decided to keep running away from me, It totally stressed me out he wanted to ook at the toys I needed to food shop. He wasnt in pushchair so easily ran away. I was mortfied as felt people were looking at me as if to say "cant you control your child". I went to check out and thought hey ho will let him look at toys and grab him when done. Well I did that went up to him, one arm full if carrier bags and one arm to hold his hand - only he wasnt playing ball- ended up literally dragging him out the store, clutching him with my one free arm and in full iew of middle aged couple he punched me in the face! Mortified I was! He was overexcited, I was stressed - recipe for disaster. Thankfully he has calmed down of late.
gugg well done for planning no drinking weekend
purplewolfe I know you get lots of hugs here but sending you mine too.
determinedma Think its great you go running. This is something Id love to try but never have. Do you have any tips for me? Also I relate to what you are going through with your brother ((huggs)). In my case it was my dad. He was a chronic alcoholic and sadly died at fifty :((. I rememer meeting him as a teenager (parents divorced) and he was as thin as a stick. He always had a bag with him! at the time I didnt link it (duh) but that was where he kept his alcohol.. So sad, He used to meet me dressed like a tramp basically (smelling) I meet him in his home town so I didnt care what anyone thought. I just wanted to help him(make him) better!! Years later I know that I could not have done that no matter how much I wished I could. I wish I could have had the money to send him to a rehab clinic but of course I couldnt :((
So I send your brother lots of virtual strength and you to ((hugs))

I know I dont post that often but I am always reading and gaining strength from all your stories x

jango thanks for your post.
When I say "run" it is a very very slow jog but it does build up from one gasping minute to a comfortable 30 mins if you do it regularly. I recommend the NHS couch to 5k podcast. Its brilliant and really does work. There is a couch to 5k thread on mn somewhere so loads of support.

Touched by your kindness Jango. xxx My youngest is now 6 but I clearly remember the 'tantrums in the aisles' bit! I used to do 'what I like to call' carpet carrying! Would scoop said belligerent toddler up under one arm and march out of where ever in a 'I know what I'm doing' sort of way with the toddler kicking and screaming in my grip!! Probably not in the popular child psychology books but, when you have one or two other children in tow - effective! xxxx