Afternoon, tis me, Mouse
Run - welcome to the Bus lovely 
The post venus wrote to you was exactly what I felt too when I read your words..... if only I were still 26 and knew then what I know now....
The abuse I put my body through, the shockingly poor life choices, the risks I took and danger I put myself and my gorgeous DD in (I only had her at the time) Run - last night, because you were pissed or not, you took a MASSIVE step that you should be ever so proud of!
You've realised, as have so many other posters, that getting shit faced night/day after night/day just isn't worth it. Life is too short to piss it all away. You get one shot at most things, two if you're lucky, three if you are really being looked after by The Big Man or Karma, whatever your believe in.......
The number of times that we've all fucked up and got through it is amazing but that's what has brought us here isn't it? The desire to STOP FUCKING UP!
I'm really glad you posted again today, I can't tell you how much better you will start to feel once you start to stop drinking like you are. I'm in awe of your athletic achievements, your fitness regime is amazing. I so wish I could run, I can't walk most days, never mind run 
You sound lovely and to think of myself at 26 fucking my life up makes me want to grab you, (and all other younger Babes out there) and just show you how I/we all ended up here when in our 20s, we'd have laughed if someone had shown us our future journeys, what happened in our lives to bring us here if that makes sense?
I'm so glad that we have such a wide age range of posters here, it's not just middle aged gin soaked women who are alcoholics, or abusers of alcohol and other substances.
You see Run, I was a big clubber so drugs (in huge quantities) played a large part in my life. Drink and drugs was all I'd consume most weekends when DD was with her father. I had NO responsibilities so why the hell not get off my face? I loved 'checking out' because it helped me to forget about my abusive DP, who would hit me, and rape me if I refused sex with him, it helped me to block out my feckless father who left when I was 2. Getting off my face helped to blur the sharp edges of the memories I could never shift when sober.
They'd just pop into my head and play over and over again. But honestly, if I had the wisdom I do now, during those years in my life, I doubt I'd have used it wisely if I'm honest, I didn't care then. I didn't care until I started to care about ME.
And it seems as though you've reached that point Run - Hoooorah! xx
Hi Soc - nice to meet you too Exhaustion is your body reacting to the lack of stimulants no longer going in. It's a weird one, alcohol..... it's a stimulant and a depressant all in one! Clever huh? The sleep will come. I used sleeping pills for the first few months, monitored very closely by my GP, and found that once I'd stopped completely after a few weeks, things settled down a lot and I felt much better. I get little sleep anyway but the lack of booze really screwed my ability to switch off my brain at 2, 4, 6am etc.
Try a warm bath with something soothing in it. Sanctuary Spa do a lovely 'sleep range' with natural ingredients in that I love to use.... or a couple of lavender oil drops on your pillow if you can take the smell, I know it's not for everyone. Camomile tea? Hot chocolate? PJs and snuggling in bed with a book (nothing too racy!) to wind your mind down should all help settle you before going to bed.
The thing is, the more you worry about not sleeping, the worse you'll get and the less you'll switch off! A vicious cycle!! xx
Rural - hello lovely, nice to see you pop in! There'll be a seat on the Bus for when you're ready. xx