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it's a new dawn, it's a new day ..........it dating thread 36!

999 replies

lulubellaboozle · 11/01/2013 12:30

Post away daters x

OP posts:
lubeybooby · 19/01/2013 12:24

I don't think that sounds like NSA grooming. I think it sounds certifiable!

I would take the body of a god thing to be a bad joke

and otherwise he is all over the place and really weird..

Scattylatte · 19/01/2013 12:25

O lubey that made me laugh. I think he is slightly bonkers too.
He has the food phobia. Not just scared of peas....he is scared of everything including sauce. To our date Wednesday he was wearing the thinnest of clothes and it was freezing. He is very very skinny and asked me if I thought his hips stuck out too much as other women had commented they do. (Great)
He is scared of technology (his words). No mp3, computer at work etc.
We were talking about relationships and he told me he had left his wife...but he said he couldn't tell me why at this point. He also says he had a few skeletons in his cupboard, is poor and dim!!

Scrazy · 19/01/2013 12:26

Scatty, yes ask him and get it out in the open now, seeing as he is being weird. Men talk to their friends about casual relationships just as much as real ones.

Wouldn't it be great if we could all just ask from day one and be upfront so we know exactly what we were dealing with. Oh but we carn't as it might scare them off and we wouldn't want to spoil what could be a beautiful relationship do we now?

I was going to take the pledge as a new years resolution. Why oh why carn't I just live without it. Grin

watchoutforthatsnail · 19/01/2013 12:53

scatty - why are you dating him???? why? he sounds nuts. id be running in the opposite direction.

Lubes, i dont see why not driving means you automatically have to do all the travelling, to his, to provide him with no strings sex, which he wont even respond to texts for, and that you have to ask for... crazy.

we are going to the cinema, to see les mis and eat too much pic and mix. Its less date and more meeting up to say hi and do somethign we both enjoy.

watchoutforthatsnail · 19/01/2013 12:59

scrazy, yeah you can. I dont see the point/ need for stupid game playing, angst and hand wriging, just ask, we are all grown ups.

Scattylatte · 19/01/2013 13:02

Sounds good watch

He's actually very good company. His outlook on life is good, he gets on well with people, his family, has friends and he is funny, positive and doesnt slag off his ex. He has a similar sense of humour to me and he's 'gentlemanly'...holds my hand and actually thinks about things, is naturally kind. The bonkers parts are not (yet) red flags. It's quite a refreshing change to the peacocks I've been out with before who have been incredibly judgemental about people.

lubeybooby · 19/01/2013 13:09

I'm not providing him with a service that I think he should be grateful for, it's a two way thing no?

and I wouldn't be doing all the travelling, he's been over here twice. Seems only fair to at least offer, seeing as I don't mind.

But - he hasn't replied anyway so looks like it won't even get to the stage of me offering, soooo... how exactly am I providing him with this service that he won't even respond to texts for? No reply no offer... I have only said hi to him today. And it was only a mundane chatty he didn't reply to Monday, but that was after a text conversation where he was replying.

watchoutforthatsnail · 19/01/2013 13:11

well,as i think anyfuckers advice long standing thread says something like ' dont swap a grade 10 arsehole for a grade 5 one on the basis they are not as bad. the only grade that is acceptable is 0.
Just watch the bonkers parts, and remember this part is meant to be fun, you are meant to feel good and happy and enjoying it, if you are not, then sometihng isnt right.

lubeybooby · 19/01/2013 13:12

Scatty I think his constant accusing you of just using him for sex and then dropping him is honestly a red flag of nutcase proportions. wtf is that all about? seriously?

I mean how are you supposed to reply to that? I would feel all defensive and like it was one of those negative prompts just to get a response or something

It's like he's fishing for you to tell him you want marriage or something. Really insecure and odd.

watchoutforthatsnail · 19/01/2013 13:13

lubey, yes, two way, as in he should be making some effort too.....

Scrazy · 19/01/2013 13:13

I'm going to Les Mis next weekend with a group of female friends, meal first so it should be a good night. It's supposed to be a weepy and I will take tissues just in case as it's been years since I've had a cry, looking forward to it.

lubeybooby · 19/01/2013 13:22

Yeah... agreed... and he isn't, so spose that's that then.

48howdidthathappen · 19/01/2013 13:33

Scatty I quite like the sound of Fireman. Different. I like different.

I shagged Mr R&R and Mr OZ on first meeting, always make it clear it is about my choices. I am very open regarding sex. I have always been the same in RL. It has nearly always panned out well. Can only think off one that didn't get it.

My only OD encounter that got that far was Mr FU, 3rd date before action, again I was calling the shots. He was a good looking charmer cunt He just couldn't get his head around me at all. It was quite simple I didn't care about him. Easy to be super cool if you don't give a fuck. Funny he ended up offering me NSA if thats what I was after. Not what I was after at all, that was his original game plan. Back fired somewhat Grin

DaydreamDolly · 19/01/2013 13:40

Grrrr men. Mr Slow has gone all slow again. He texted me continuously all day yesterday but today? Not a dickie bird. We hasn't set lunch up but it had been mentioned. We also mentioned possibly doing something tonight. But he has fallen off the face of the earth. Sad oh well!!

48howdidthathappen · 19/01/2013 13:44

Dolly I CBA with him. Seems very bad mannered. That would do it for me.

lubeybooby · 19/01/2013 13:47

Oh no Dolly! I was really hoping to have had another fab update. That sucks.

Tamoo · 19/01/2013 13:47

Hi everyone,

No dates for me this weekend so will be living vicariously through you lot.

My PoF 'adventure' has so far been shite. I was really looking forward to it having not dated in over a year and very little before that. I've had over 40 guys click on the Meet Me function and they are all grotesque. Clearly big drinkers and smokers even if they say otherwise, most of them with passive aggressive (or outright misogynistic) profiles. I'm only messaging one guy, he's got 3 young kids and although I've given him the benfit of the doubt because he is friendly without being crass, I already know the name of his DC's mother, where she's from, how long they were together, etc etc (yawn).

This has happened to me before, my last bf described to me what noises his ex made when she orgasmed FFS. (FWIW I did tell him, when I broke up with him, that that was one of the reasons, and apparently he had no clue he was doing it.) I sometimes wonder if men who have previously been in relationships of 10, 15yrs duration can ever get their heads round being with someone different.

Scatty your fireman sounds a) hard work and b) like he's not even sure what he wants (NSA or something else).

DaydreamDolly · 19/01/2013 13:55

Yeah. I CBA either. Such a shame, we had a lovely connection. But really CBA with this messing about. I don't have much free time, he should be maximising it.

48howdidthathappen · 19/01/2013 14:15

Tamoo Shock at telling you about an exs bedroom noises.

Its the ones that add you to their favourites list. Fucking cheek!

Tamoo · 19/01/2013 14:21

Yeah, even though you've never spoken to them and have nothing in common and they start their profiles off with some catchy tagline about how all women are mentally disturbed.

Tamoo · 19/01/2013 14:28

My brother has also joined PoF recently and to give you a bit of male perspective (in the absence of Bant) things he has noticed so far include a lot of fake tan, a lot of women quoting Marilyn Monroe (which we find ironic, as she had notoriously fucked up relationships) and a lot of women making self deprecating jokes about their intelligence: "I have a lot of blonde moments lol!"

OhWesternWind · 19/01/2013 15:00

Well I texted him at lunchtime, chatty text about nonsense and ended with asking if he fancies a good night out tomorrow. Nothing for a couple of hours then I get "I'm busy tomorrow I think x". Not even an excuse, nothing about doing something later in the week, just he's busy.

Feels like he thinks he can just pick me up and out me down when he feels like it, no consideration or anything. I've had enough of this. I thought he thought much more of me but obviously not. Really upset.

Scrazy · 19/01/2013 15:13

OWW, sorry to hear he is being distant. I would at this stage set some boundaries and let him know you are p---ed off. If the relationship is going to progress then he shouldn't be upsetting you this way.

watchoutforthatsnail · 19/01/2013 15:14

western, you need to get a grip of this i think. I know if i say anything you will defend him and say about how you only say the bad things on here and how hes great all the time, but from where im sitting it really doesnt seem that way at all.
You are still carrying issues from your last relationship, he doesnt seem to be helping and in fact seems to be highlighting them and possibly making them worse. Which is even worse when you have actaually told him the score.

Its almost every other day when you are saying something is up with him. Is this what you want? really? you havent been dating long, again, it should be nice, it should be happy. if its crap in the beginning, its only going to get worse...

Maybe hes not in a position to date, not really. But what you need to do here, is to think about what you really want, out of life, out of a relationship. If you arent getting it from him, and i dont think hes going to give you what you want, then you need to leave it and move on to someone that will.

Put yourself first for once.

It seems most of your angst is caused because your sub consccience is telling you this isnt right, you dont like it, but every time you convince yourself its ok and its just you. Listen to what its telling you.

Not to go on, but dating is meant to be fun. And i really want to post a link to any fuckers thread. truely. It seems like its needed on here at the momment.