it's a new dawn, it's a new day ..........it dating thread 36!

[lulubellaboozle]

Post away daters x

I'm thinking the same OWW. Could shed some light on stuff, could result in more sex (yay) or could confirm it's time to shout NEXT! :o

Well, that's two possible positives and one possible negative, so go for it!

Ok... texting now

nooooooo, dont do it.

( probably too late)

Yep too late!

Only sent a general Hi how are you type one though.

Why do you reckon not to?

you are offering this bloke no stings, and hes not biting your hand off... pah. he should be, you shouldnt be having to chase him here, and you know that and would advise any of us the same.

There are no reasons in the world, where a man would be put off sex by having to come to yours, i mean, come on.

It was rude of him re the fb, esp so as you did it in front of him, and if hes not been in contact since monday, id say he doesnt have any interest....

This is exactly what i found when i was looking for the same, they say they are wanting the same, you go out, have fun, do the deed, and then they vanish, and you are like ' wtf, i only wanted a regualr shag, not marriage'

Hmmm... yeah well that's what the other part of me was saying - fuck off then, basically.

BUT I think hormones reminding me of his lush arms and shoulders won :o that and that I CBA to do another PoF smash and grab...

Although I guess The Stig is still a possibility

and Mr iPhone still hasn't arranged our 'meeting'

and you had left the ball in his court already.
if a man is interested, fwb, dating, or whatever, you dont need to remind them that you are there and want to see them, they will be asking..... calling/ texting, whatever.

that is how it works.
you cant make someone be interested by reminding them you are there.

hormones have a lot to answer for!!
( though i expect you know the score really)

it is baffling though, isnt it. I had 4 like that the beginning of last year and gave it up as a bad thing, because it happened every bloody time.

id leave mr i phone to it as well, if he cant be arsed to organise a ' meeting' then he can get stuffed. Even in a fwb/ casual type thing you still deserve to be treated with respect.

Try the stig.

Lubey, I'd text too. Just in the hope of having a little clarity.

I'm not upset at all by Mr Speedy, maybe a touch bitter. I wonder if online dating is such that it hardens people much faster than RL dating does? In RL everything tends to be slower, and fewer hook ups. You tend to already know who you're meeting or your friends know them. But OD isn't representative of real life, it's like a huge party where all the marrieds/two timers/unpleasants hang out. A few nice men have slipped into the party to see what all the fuss is about. Somehow we have to sieve them out from the rest.

Bants sweet shop analogy was quite good, I did like that. Where is he, anyway?

western, bless you. can you both not just sit down, face to face and have an honest talk. It seems that you arent talking to each other, but around things,like dropping hints and getting anxious and stressed and then not responding to texts and things. it cant be good for either of you.

wolf - got it in one, welcome to the weird and wonderful world of online dating.

Well watch I did the running really and the asking for my other two dates with him... he has never chased at any point but been happy to accept invites. He's so laid back he's almost upside down so I'm happy with that if it gets me what I want.. he, well, we both... have never been big on the texting.

Ah well what will be will be...

Hia!! Nothin doin here! Apart from sledging and red wine!

I kinda get that then Lubes

Wolf I think this is probably the bitter truth of it:
'OD isn't representative of real life, it's like a huge party where all the marrieds/two timers/unpleasants hang out. A few nice men have slipped into the party to see what all the fuss is about. Somehow we have to sieve them out from the rest.'

the whole sweet shop thing is just wishful thinking, there are not row upon row of candy bars there for the taking, more like rotten apples and mildewed lemons lurking in a dingy and forgotten shop

and maybe sometimes, with a no strings arrangement the bloke will wait for you to contact him, perhaps he feels insecure and wants to be sure that you are still interested, or doesnt want to seem pushy??

I dunno, I'm usually as confused as hell about whats going on.
It's very hard to get a clear sense of whats in the other persons mind when you are reading it through the cracked and crazed lens of your own insecurities and paranoia's...well thats how it always seems to me!!

Mercury, I agree with you. All men think they are in a sweet shop at first then find out that the women aren't jumping into their beds, unless they are good looking charmers.

Wolf, he must had been thick to not recognise your profile even without a pic. I've had a few men repeatedly message me not realising they we've chatted before.

Lubey, I agree with Watch on this one. If he's not being responsive to what you are offering then I would forget it. All men are looking for sex, that's a given already. They will only go the extra mile if they believe that a woman is worth it, whatever worth it is and sometimes it means the ones who make them work for it a bit. The prize as it is in their eyes. Often been true ime. There are always exceptions and they might say they want no strings but sometimes they even have a bit of guilt surrounding it too, bless them .

I realise on threads that everyone would pile in and say it's rubbish, I shagged my DH on the first date, and I have had long term with sex very quickly but the difference might be that I was hoping, expecting even that it was the start of something rather than a casual thing, wasn't always the case.

I need chocolate today too.

Mercury, x post, or guilt, if she is doing all the running she knows the score and I can shag to my hearts content.

scrazy, i do agree. id like that to not be true, but it does seem to be the case.

i married my first husband off the back of a one night stand. The man did not respect me. Nor did he actually love me. In hindsite, red flags a plenty.

And yes, i might have swapped some filth last night, via text. sure as hell i wont be sleeping with him on the first date, or even the second. he knows this.

If i do ever want and fwb type thing, and they arent responsive to it, and its a bloody good deal, they they can get stuffed.

Watch, is your date tomorrow, I hope it goes well and yes I think you are right to hold off a bit to DTD.

Thing with ONS are that they are OK in principle, I've had many in the past, I will admit, but you have to take them as just being that a ONE night stand. Some I have smiled about on reflection but others have left me feeling bad about myself and that they did a runner. I have accepted a date afterwards once or twice just so I didn't think of it as a ONS

Another confused one here. Had a strange week communicating with fireman. So, we spent night Wednesday as you'awl know. He had been talking about Wed this, wed that running up....then he phoned me Tues saying 'I'm in a panic, it was tomorrow we are meeting isn't it? I was a bit . He then said...I knew we were meeting, I was being an idiot and used it as an excuse to talk to you. Thursday he texts to say he has had a great time, really likes me etc. I reply saying me too...he then texts 'I know I've got the body of a god but please don't fall in love with me'. Again . I replied something like don't worry I won't.
So he phones me yesterday saying that he is really looking forward to seeing me next week and am I sure I want to see him. Later he texts saying he now isn't sure whether I'm just going to use him for sex then discard him.
I know that's protracted but my o my.
watch what are you doing on your date?
oww you have emotional needs too and if you want more structure to the relationship that is fine.
wolfandI what a prat
lubey I'd also text

Scatty, sounds like he is grooming you for NSA fun. That's fine if that is all you want, but it will be all it is.

OWW, sorry didn't mean to ignore you. I don't think you need a wet fish tbh, if your instincts are saying he might be messed up then I would listen to them this time. Find some time, child free, to find out what is going on with him and take a step back if needs be. It might just be the cave syndrome and if it is then you will know the pattern for the future.

Scatty he seems totally bonkers tbh.

I've known a few like him and I did <a class="break-all" href="http://www.google.co.uk/imgres?um=1&hl=en&safe=off&client=firefox-a&tbo=d&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&biw=1344&bih=588&tbm=isch&tbnid=IbbHTFCdv5YI8M:&imgrefurl=www.lolbrary.com/post/12587/back-away-slowly/&docid=qrxLLdjQbndWNM&imgurl=www.lolbrary.com/content/587/back-away-slowly-12587.gif&w=500&h=415&ei=fo36UNjlDazY0QWw7IDgDA&zoom=1&iact=hc&vpx=645&vpy=11&dur=640&hovh=204&hovw=246&tx=155&ty=106&sig=105707183564216907307&page=1&tbnh=145&tbnw=175&start=0&ndsp=18&ved=1t:429,r:3,s:0,i:88" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">this handy back away slowly move

scrazy I think the same, on the whole. Then he tells me his ex wife has gone off on one after his son overheard him talking about me to someone else. But yes, I think it's NSA. Should I just ask him?

re: offering something good onto a good thing etc hmmm yes that's all very well but he is disabled and has a 30/40 min (with no traffic) motorway jaunt to get over here.. I wouldn't want him to think I expect him to do all the travelling. I went all over the place with and for BC and it was ace. I don't mind doing my bit despite being a non driver...

I think being a non driver is a massive turn off for a lot of men - because they automatically assume you will expect them to drive everywhere all the time