Bacon sarnies in suspenders, jacket strokers, coffee with a small 'c' and LOTS of Coffee with a capital 'C' it's dating thread 32

[lulubellaboozle]

Thought I take the liberty of starting us off again ...

Ah, I don't know your story, so if you feel better retiring to sofa don't date.

Yep, spot on. The keen ones I am actually repelled by. It's the one who treats me really quite badly (I mean, I've NEVER stayed at his...we've never been to dinner, have had coffee and have had drinks, he's never met my friends, I've never met his, he will happily vanish for 2, once 3 weeks and see no problem) yep, he's the only one I like but then him being so distant is kind of putting me back at square one and I'm thinking, maybe I should just be single for the next 5 + years because I don't need more stuff to worry about

oh and there's another guy (I sound bad, I'm not) who split with his DW and has 2DC, both young, and has been asking me out on dates for the entire year. I have consistently declined. I think I didn't want to be a rebound thing, but in general I think there is something wrong with my judgement here

48 well clearly not me and damn it was good.
but I was all ready to dust off my dating shoes and move along and now the Coffee will complicate things. My bad.

cafe can you start again? Wipe the slate clean and look again, maybe?
I know you say your work is busy but you can fit the other man in so how about a few dates instead?

cafe at 'oh and there's another guy'..

sounds to me like you're either not ready to meet someone who you fancy who might be good for you, or you're just not fancying those who might be good for you, for whatever reasons.

If you just want a FWB relationship with the arrogant guy, then go for it, and let the others down gently. I don't think you're swearing yourself to nundom if you tell him to get lost, there are obviously a bunch of other guys who like you, and eventually you'll find one you fancy if you've got the energy to look.

I take it Banta that there have been no more texts?

I was just wondering about the Artist. You might as well go on the date bant. I think.
cafe don't worry, most of us have some complications going on. Those men seem unavailable to me. I seem to be attacted to unavailable men myself.

I think I only like unavailable men. Hmm. He was very irritating when he was too into me, he positively repelled me and I stopped going to the gym, then I went on a date and we got on really well and it was downhill from there. I guess I feel I need to wipe the slate clean (unavailable men don't suddenly become available, do they?) ho hum (envisages nundom forever)

there was a (hopefully) final 'X' just after midnight. I went from feeling guilty about hurting her, to frustrated she was taking everything so seriously after a fortnight, to being mildly alarmed, to being angry with her for just..not..getting..it.

I really really hope she didn't steal a condom.

secretly I am sort of emotionally tied up elsewhere (with a very unavailable man that was more like an emotional affair, nothing ever happened, and we don;t see each other now). So I thought, eek, nobody will ever match that. I think I'm secretly a little bit sad about it, and mraloofandunavailable is the only person I've met who makes me think, yes I could get over it. But suspect he has his own baggage too! Either that or wishes to be eternal bachelor. And there are some things he's just too good at (overshare) makes me suspect he could even be seeing a different girl every night of the week

I think I'm really fussy and particular, theres nothing legitimately wrong with any of the people who like me, I'm just a bit 'meh'

Banta - Artist sounds a bit scary!

a bit very!

well there are only two women I've met in 4 months of dating - fairly consistently, generally one or two a week, who have really given the 'wow' factor - butterflies, big grins after a kiss, that kind of thing - one took several days to respond to texts, would disappear for a week at a time, and got back with an ex before things got too serious. The other one is a two hour drive away, never gets time to herself because her ExH is a tit who won't have the 3 DC stay over at his, so is permanently unavailable - and would be even if she was just down the road.

The one who things got furthest with would call for hours, text me a dozen times a day, buy me gifts, plan our lives together after a week of dating, celebrate our one week anniversary with a cake, (it was very nice but kind of sickly) and just put me off because she was so full on. If she hadn't been soooo available I would have been more interested. It's weird how that works, she was just too full on, too possibly interested in the contents of my testes, and just. Well. Scary.

Shit banta I was only thinking earlier, thank god you were so insistent on the condom front. Now you're telling us you didn't count them out and count them in!!

You'll be featuring on Jeremy Kyle before we know it

ha she does sound scary. I sent aloofguy a text telling him how much I liked him, but it was deliberately jokey - it was stupidly ott in response to him being grumpy about something- I thought it were obvious it had been a joke. nope, he vanished and then I was like, er, its my text isnt it, and he said yes it freaked him out. I think he'd have to be pretty arrogant to believe I had been completely serious! But that might have been what stuffed that one up. But then I pulled back completely, no texting, no emailing, no seeing him, saying no when he asked to see me, and he became much more interested. So now I'm treading this weird path of actively not giving a damn and actively not bothering to see him, and it's made him really like me it seems, but it's made some of the magic wear off. My false indifference is in danger of becoming real. I will be a nun. forever.

I think the more one person pushes the more the other pulls away, and vice versa.

yeah wick the very first one went missing, all the others I was very careful about.

Apart from the one the dog ate.

Bant that was my dog and def not your condom!!

Bant date. This will also make the Artist a bit more removed.

Scatty it was the biggest fish available,enough to make a difference when anyone needs it

Cafe what do you actually want from dating? If you want a relationship it would be best if you were with someone who actually knows your life and likes you for you as you are. DC should not be an issue with the right guy.

I think you should only date bant if you make it absolutely clear you are going abroad shortly.

Oh! Found a glorious man on OKC by total accident. His main profile pic is of him scuba diving (this is an 'irk' for me. I automatically loathe men who scuba dive, or more properly post profile pictures of themselves doing so) I clicked by mistake. When not scuba diving He. Is. Glorious.

Message sent. Shall get NO RESPONSE. The glorious ones never do.

That's it Snape. I need someone busy with their own life who's okay meeting someone who's only going to be around a third of the time, and with my DCs a lot when I am. And knows Hungarian and likes flying

You need to sort yourself out some Hungarian love-interest. Is your new work a British company? Are likely to be any viable women at work?

me, Bant, me, date me oh ok I don't speak Hungarian

Hmm what do I want from dating, well I would really like a relationship with mr unavailable. An actual real one that's not totally dysfunctional. But in general terms I don't really know, maybe I'm not actually 'ready' for dating when I've got so much other stuff going on. I haven't even thought about it until now

Mr Rock n Roll has called we are on!

He did mention he had tried OD. He didn't rate it.

Greetings from The Far North, dating fans......

Well, I know it's a ways off but there are 2 fab contenders for inclusion in the next thread title.....Of course I refer to :-

1. Torso rubber......
2. The contents of testes......

Bear them in mind.....

48, oooh exciting .... an early Christmas present!