Bacon sarnies in suspenders, jacket strokers, coffee with a small 'c' and LOTS of Coffee with a capital 'C' it's dating thread 32

[lulubellaboozle]

Thought I take the liberty of starting us off again ...

Bant there's a fine line between quirkiness and downright weirdness. And challenging? In what way, pray tell?

And is "not very close by" in Budapest by any chance?

Presents for me.
...

that is all.

My kids are too young too want to, my family is all overseas and I'll be catching up with them in the next week. The Artist (who actually, spookily, texted me 'Happy Xmas xxxx' while I was typing 'the artist') bought me one but I didnt give her my address.

I was going to buy myself a big widescreen TV but thought until I've got my first pay cheque from the new job I should hold off.

Ah the joys of singledom.

Ok Bant fair enough, how about Crotch grabbing, Jelly nailing, double-quick portions and a partridge in a pear tree...the dating thread survived Christmas so bring on NYE! ?

I messaged an american girl on Match who was in budapest, she looked at my profile, no response yet.

nah, the one who's not close is half an hour away, she's nice enough but probably not a goer.

Any more suggestions on thread names? Come on, we've got to immortalise the weirdos. Cheesophobics? Or would that invoke the curse?

Yoga that thread title is definitely the one!

No presents here either, except for the ones I bought myself, which were

2 pairs of shoes (one of which are similar to these )
A Dress
Earrings
Some (very much off the back of a lorry) makeup.

:)

Velvet I lurve your presents . . . will you buy for me next year if I get the dcs to send you their pocket money?

Banta and Yoga can we have the floating tackle in there too please?

Ooh Velvet - those shoes!! Wow.

Crotch grabbing, Jelly nailing, double-quick portions and mysterious floaters in a pear tree...the dating thread survived Christmas so bring on NYE! ?

Perfect Bant - just need to add 33 at the end.

Hang on - I think it should be 'floating tackle' not 'mysterious floaters' as that sounds like we're talking about turds

So Crotch grabbing, jelly nailing, double-quick portions and floating tackle in a pear tree...dating thread 33 survived Christmas so bring on NYE!

can we modify that a bit to 'and man parts floating in a pear tree'

Can I just say that I would have been even less impressed by floating turds than I was by the floating man parts .

What's the matter with me? (Apart from too many rums and not enough food). Saw LM Friday/Saturday and then again Sunday, spoke and texted today, seeing him on Friday and probably 2 Jan. He has met the children. He wants to go out with my oldest friend for a meal. He is doing all the right stuff. So why the bloody hell am I sitting here running through all the crap in my mind and focussing on that rather than looking at the good stuff?

I think I am really worried about him getting back with his ex. He keeps saying he won't but bloody hell I know myself how attractive having all the "family thing" back would be. If ex weren't an abusive twat, and if he actually asked, it would be tempting even though I knew it was the wrong thing to do. I am worried that he is still too hung up on his ex even though he says he isn't. But he still sees her most days as they share care of the children so one or the other is always picking them up or dropping them off. There's no way I can say anything about this arrangement, and I wouldn't want to, but the sheer amount of contact he has with her makes me really uneasy. I guess that coming from a position of having no contact at all with my ex, I find it hard to imagine how this kind of arrangement could work. They don't get on well, it's all quite argumentative and bitter, and that worries me too as there is still something there even if it's negative rather than positive.

It's that conversation they had on Friday when she asked him to try again. Really preying on my mind. She is being more reasonable about Christmas arrangements than was the case last week, and it all looks to me like she is making a play to get him back.

What should I do?

Western yes, I'd be happy to assist your DC with Xmas present buying - hopefully would result in less hens and more shoes/jewellery/pretty things

Can I ask for opinions...this may be more one for the men, but all views welcome!

How big an issue is it if someone doesn't drive? Would that of itself - if other than that they seemed a nice enough person, you got on etc - be enough to put you off? Would it depend on how far you lived from each other?

Well, if I lived in a city where there was a lot of transport and cars weren't really needed, then I would be fine with it. Living where I do now, it would be a bit of a problem. So, I don't think the driving per se is a problem, it's more any logistical difficulties that it might create.

The cheese touching thing is the only weirdness about him I have discovered so far, but there's still time

I think a woman not driving in itself wouldn't put me off so much, but that depends where you live. If it meant whenever we went out for a meal I would have to not drink so I could drive her home, and she could drink all she wanted to, that's not really fair.

The last two girls I dated who I spoke about driving with - one of them couldn't drive on motorways or A roads, the other one had to be the one driving on those roads, she couldn't just be a passenger due to loss of control (an accident when she was younger) - neither were huge flags for me but I thought either might get to be an irritation long term.

Not driving at all, well if taxis are possible and you split the responsibility, not too much of a problem.

Western that must be hard. She does seem to be trying to get him back, but he's being open and honest about it with you. He seems happy with you, and is moving things forward, in terms of intro'ing you to his mum, him meeting your friends etc.

Also he's still going ahead with the divorce too isn't he? All of that says to me that even though she is trying, he's not receptive to it. I think where children are involved (except for a situation like yours where there is no contact) there's always going to be a degree of interraction between Exs, and if it can be kept amicable, that's better for the DC. It can however make it uncomfortable for you as the new relationship.

I think really all you can do is keep the dialogue going with you and LM. I feel it's important he keeps being open with you. He does also need to understand your feelings though and should be reassuring you that nothing has changed etc....

Tis tricky though. Sorry.

And as to my car question, I think there might be logistical difficulties. Bugger.

I dont have a car Velvet and I dont recall anyone ever having a problem with it, I find it's a good excuse not to do any of the running, I mean in an 'if you want me you'll have to come to me' kind of way.
Really I am very lazy, I wont meet anyone for the initial coffee & chat unless they're prepared to come to where I live, any any subsequent meetings are at my place or not at all.

OWW - being more reasonable doesn't mean it's a play to get him back. People are stressed in the run up to xmas, they argue more, when things settle down a bit you can be reasonable. My STBXW go through ups and downs of irritation and snarkiness with each other, it doesn't mean we want to get back together if we're getting on ok, it just means we don't want to brain each other with a bottle of port anymore. For the moment. It's a good thing he gets on (Sometimes) with his ex - getting on badly all the time is a red flag, if I remember.

If I had a girlfriend who was worried all the time - especially vocally, about me getting back together with my ex, I would be annoyed. I don't want to, and if I've made that clear to her then it's like a constant 'are you looking at other women? why? What's wrong with me? It's susan isn't it. You like susan. Why don't you like me?' which is just soul destroying.

Relax, he's told you she's not part of his plans, a future person is, that may be you. Calm down and enjoy the time you have with him

Thin soup, no booze and milk thistle for me. Thank Fuck XMAS IS OVER

I am putting the cart before the horse here, because Spaceman and I haven't even had a date yet. BUT he lives over 30 miles away - probably 45 minutes by car. Well over an hour by train. So Bant definitely not do-able by taxi.

Mercury that makes me feel slightly better.

I suspect I may be trying to find reasons why this will all go tits up, but I am conscious of the distance, and my lack of transport. I'm very independent, I don't expect to be driven around, but,...