Bacon sarnies in suspenders, jacket strokers, coffee with a small 'c' and LOTS of Coffee with a capital 'C' it's dating thread 32

[lulubellaboozle]

Thought I take the liberty of starting us off again ...

Yoga I want one

oh oh hello is this the place to shared dating woes?

*to share - sorry, broken laptop keys (and screen - agh)

DeanMartin I don't 'know' you but Friday to Sunday is nothing, seriously!! sit bac don't worry. If you put a lot of effort in she might not be able to do just a quick reply, she might have had a busy weekend, she might not have received it.. etc. I often don't reply to things for weeks

(but I'm evil) but it doesn't mean I don't like that person I'm just so hectic and chaotic I have no time to reply

Its ok dean Bloody Men!

cafe your in the right place some joy to be had I hope.

Dean if someone writes me a long e-mail, I feel as if I ought to write something lengthy in response, usually I cant be arsed to write at length so I put it off.
Not necessarily suggesting she cant be arsed but she may respond quicker to a short, less effort-full e-mail?

so, I have found myself 'dating' or not, as the case may be, after ending a 6 year awful relationship (which resulted in Capitalised letter stuff less than 5 times in six years) so my confidence was shot to pieces, my figure too - 2 DCs- and I thought oh my goodess I am nothingness and will be alone and celibate forever

THEN I had a very brief fling with a friend - very brief. But it kind of broke my phobia. What followed is less good though - banker who is so distant, I see him once a week (and he has to be home by 9.30, no girlfriend he says), another guy who was a friend of a friend WHOSE MOTHER CAME TO LONDON TO MEET ME ON THE THIRD DATE who turned out to be a cocaine taking arrogant entitled brat who was far too pushy for a serious relationship and everything else (has become stalkery), and some random guy from paddington station (gorgeous) who I met over a croissant at midnight, but I have since ignored him (but he's very nice). So I'm back at sqaure one thinking oh dear I will be single and celibate forever and maybe secretly I like that. But it's scary. The only guy I like is the aloof banker guy but he is seriously not wanting a relationship, that is quite evident.

have I overshared?

I am weak.
Ironman came back. I held out for 24 hours before having the Coffee with him because I really fancy him aargh.

If I were you Dean (out of context) so as not to put her off I'd leave it til about Wednesday and then send a text or a short email

Ironman!

Sorry cafe cross post. No, you haven't overshared. Are you on any OD sites?
Why ignore midnight croissant man?

Cafe Hi, I don't think there is such a thing as over sharing on this thread, and that is the beauty of it, you can explore all your deepest fears, the highs and the lows and you get brilliant advice and loads of support . can I ask why you are ignoring the gorgeous random guy from paddington station though?

Dean, sometimes you need to contemplate a reply to a long email and hesitate over what to say and how to say it. I think you will get a reply but the delay from Friday to today doesn't surprise me, given the history you have described. patience and softly softy catchee monkey ....

dean I know it is tough, but all you can do now is to be patient.

I seem to remember that you had both been widowed a while, so you must be aware at the lability of emotions that follow bereavement. One moment all you want is the person you have lost and the next you are determined to get out there and build a new life for yourself with a new partner.

You said the widow had had some pretty difficult OD experiences and she may well have been left uncertain about any approach made to her. Or of course she might be seeing someone else.

You have made the approach and now all you can do is wait it out !!

Nature!!! hehe

cafe it's impossible to over share. Just out of interest, why are you ignoring the croissant man? The others sound dreadful. Are they all OD?
juliette. Like the fish. It's definitely wet!
dean it's hard to sit on the hands. Very hard but you have to. Just a different perspective. I've a male friend and I love his texts. They are always funny. It's often easier to respond to a dry wit text or email than a long emotional one. Just sayin
spoon you know him and I'm sure he will resurface.
yoga. The Coffee supplement sounds better than any Coffee I've had recently.

midnight croissant man is lovely, I don't now, I have been very busy, my svhedule is mad so I never get a day off and 'friend of friend' had far too much time off. croissant man lives with his parents outside London, probably a bit young. Aloofguy (who pursued me relentlessly at the start, I found him irritating because he kept talking to me when I went to the gym) is pretty much as busy and work obsessed as me, which suits me, he is really lovely and I go a bit silly and gooey, he's the only person I've met (aside from my ex boss, long story) who has this effect. Perfect age, really gorgeous, everything else is great (iykwim) BUT a. he does not seem to want a relationship because he only wants to see me at the weekend - and b. he has no idea I have a DC and it's now gone on since.. May... and I haven't told him because I would only tell him if it were a relationship, and it doesn't seem to be one at all.. sigh.. messy

*know, sorry- laptop. I'm not on OD sites, my friend tried to make me do a profile for the guardian one but I didn't have time to make a proper effort with it

aloofguy- excellent, best ever ever ever in entire life Coffee

I got a bit too attached though, a couple months ago, I actually would really like to have a proper relationship with this guy, and he randomly would disappear for 2 weeks at a time and it was really making me quite upset because I really liked him, so then I became deliberately disinterested and he became more interested - agh

this is probably why croissant man has been unfairly ignored (though by chance I bumped into him again, at kings cross, a couple months later and he recognised me and kissed me in the station - though I have since ignored. I'm unwittingly evil)

though I feel bad for not telling aloofguy about child, it's now so late that I can't awkward. same with croissant man, he does not know. Mumonthirddate guy knows, but he said it like 'don't worry (mutual friend) told me everything, I know the worst thing there is to know' as if he were doing me a favour trying to get into my knickers (surely im oversharing now )

Sod. Just got asked out for coffee/beer tomorrow night by a girl on Match. I was just mentally preparing to retire permanently to the sofa but she's really attractive. No phone calls or long messages or anything, just, if you'll pardon the expression, a quickie.

So. To date or not to date, given that I've just (I think) managed to shrug off the stalkingness of the Artist and am moving several hundred miles away in a few weeks.

Incidentally I'm not a floozy, I think I sound bad, I'm basically bridget jones..

Marking my place .. Carry on :)

BantaBaby, you will feel much better for going, I think. My vote= date!

Bant. Don't date. They'd just be using you for sex.

Bant?

Hello?

Bant?

Hi cafe by the way. So it seems that you've got several guys interested in you, and the only one you really like is the one who treats you disinterestedly? Seems a strange way to go about it, but we can't help what we feel, I guess.

Nature Who can resist tried and tested Coffee or untested