Tis glad you had a good night you deserve it :)
Maggie really sorry youve had a horrible week and hope your feeling better soon and find a way to get more rest.
handover went AWFUL could not have been worse. dh's mum came in, i went to take dd and she said she wanted to put her in the oot, i said ill take her as she has her coat on, she said no ill take her coat off and put her up in the cot she's exhausted. so ends up i bring them into the living room (dd is fast asleep) next minute she starts on me.
she says PIL is off work on stress with high blood pressure, she is ill with stress, dh is really upset all the time, everyones stressed out, something has to be sorted out about dh and i, this can't go on... in the usual ranty way. i listen for awhile and then decide to stand up for myself and say i did not expect all this tonight, im the wrong person to talk to about all of this, im dealing with a lot too, you aren't the only one going through stuff.
then she said 'oh i KNOW what YOURE dealing with!!' (as if, im dealing with nothing in comparison to what she's dealing with) so that started it. full blown row, me starting crying and not able to stop, asking them to leave and them not leaving, as they thought it would help if they stayed. no i was crying because they were making it worse! i explained exactley what their darling son could be like, told them it was emotional abuse, and they acted like they did not believe me. the also emphasised on the 'hitting' he woudl never hit me. or hurt me. and i tried to explain that while he has never HIT me, he has hurt me from verbal and emotional abuse, but they didn't seem to understand this, probably because she can be quite verbally abusive herself and doesn't see anything wrong with it.
we actually left on better terms. they were glad to see things from my point of view. they also had asked to take dd overnight, and were shocked when i said i didn't have a problem with it, and were shocked when i said dh can see dd whenever he wants as long as its arranged. because HE is telling them a different story, probably because he does not want the responsibility. i said it has to come from him, not from you, although if you, as a grandparent, want to take her for the odd night thats ok, but that is different from him taking her as a father.
sorry for this mammoth post. it was sooo stressful. they are a bit like him the way they just get everything out there and so highly strung and they also said there must be reasons why is is the way he is. then they brought up my health which was bad. and i had to say yes its been stressful but its supposed to be in sickness and in health - its no reason to emotionally abuse someone.
so they understand things a bit more. they are going to ring my mum to talk. they want dh out of their house as they are also finding it really hard with his bad moods as a result of it all. and they say he is really upset all the time... which kills me as obviously i have feelings for him.
if you managed to get this far....thank you... it kinda overwhelmed me. then dd didn't sleep last night. i just feel like completely wiped out! its the first time ive really stood up for myself with his family. this whole thing has made me much stronger.