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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Support thread for those in emotionally abusive relationships: 14

999 replies

foolonthehill · 10/12/2012 21:15

Am I being abused?

Verbal Abuse A wonderfully non-hysterical summary. If you're unsure, read the whole page and see if you're on it.
Emotional abuse from the same site as above
Emotional abuse a more heartfelt description
a check list Use this site for some concise diagnostic lists and support
Signs of Abuse & Control Useful check list
why financial abuse is domestic violenceAre you a free ride for a cocklodger, or supposed to act grateful for every penny you get for running the home?
Women's Aid: "What is Domestic Violence?" This is also, broadly, the Police definition.
20 signs you're with a controlling and/or abusive partner Exactly what it says on the tin

Books :

"Why Does He Do That?" by Lundy Bancroft - The eye-opener. Read this if you read nothing else.
"The Verbally Abusive Relationship" by Patricia Evans ? He wants power OVER you and gets angry when you prove not to be the dream woman who lives only in his head.
"The Verbally Abusive Man, Can He Change?" by Patricia Evans - Answer: Perhaps - ONLY IF he recognises HIS issues, and if you can be arsed to work through it. She gives explicit guidelines.
"Men who hate women and the women who love them" by Susan Forward. The author is a psychotherapist who realised her own marriage was abusive, so she's invested in helping you understand yourself just as much as helping you understand your abusive partner.
"The Emotionally Abusive Relationship: How to Stop Being Abused and How to Stop Abusing" by Beverley Engels - The principle is sound, if your partner isn't basically an arse, or disordered.
"Codependent No More : How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself" by Melody Beattie - If you a rescuer, you're a co-dependent. It's a form of addiction! This book will help you.
But whatever you do, don't blame yourself for being Co-dependent!

Websites :

So, you're in love with a narcissist - Snarky, witty, angry, but also highly intelligent: very good for catharsis
Dr Irene's verbal abuse site - motherly advice to readers' write-ins from a caring psychotherapist; can be a pain to navigate but very validating stuff
Out of the fog - and now for the science bit! Clinical, dispassionate, and very informative website on the various forms of personality disorders and how they impact on family and intimate relationships.
Get your angries out ? You may not realise it yet, but you ARE angry. Find out in what unhealthy ways your anger is expressing itself. It has probably led you to staying in an unhealthy relationship.
Melanie Tonia Evans is a woman who turned her recovery from abuse into a business. A little bit "woo" and product placement-tastic, but does contain a lot of useful articles.
Love fraud - another site by one woman burned by an abusive marriage
You are not crazy - one woman's experience. She actually has recordings of her and her abusive partner having an argument, so you can hear what verbal abuse sounds like. A pain to navigate, but well worth it.
Baggage reclaim - Part advice column, part blog on the many forms of shitty relationships.
heart to heart a wealth of information and personal experiences drawn together in one place

what couples therapy does for abusers

If you find that he really wants to change
should I stay or should I go bonus materials this is a site containing the material for men who want to change?please don?t give him the link?print out the content for him to work through.

The Bill of Rights
bill of rights here is what you should expect as a starting point for your treatment in a relationship, as you will of course be treating others!!

OP posts:
MaggieMay05 · 15/12/2012 23:16

Ohh nooooo - hes now singing that song rule the world that makes me blub like a baby Sad Sad and FW isn't home yet....sooo means another 3am home time tonight. Sorry for massive posting x

TheSilverPussycat · 15/12/2012 23:22

Go to the doctor about your kidneys. The last thing you need atm is to be physically ill.

I find sleeping on the floor more comfortable than a sofa sometimes - if you can get balanced on your hip bone (and believe me you don't need to be skinny to do that) you can actually sleep quite well I find. Sounds barmy I know.

MaggieMay05 · 15/12/2012 23:38

Thank you Silver Wise as always xx I know I need to go to docs and will have to before it gets worse. Thanks for sleeping tip I am far from skinny so have a fair bit of built in cushioning!

PrincessFionne · 16/12/2012 00:06

OH Maggie we love you and are here for you (in an obviously very normal and not creepy cyber way!)

and with all this on you still have such lovely things to say for others and thinking about others. Now time for you.

Its amazing how much we can manage to deal with when we have enough sleep for starters. Can MIL help you out again so you can stay in and SLEEEEP maybe? drink loads (water I mean! ha! I know what you were thinking).

Ignore the idiot bloke that missed his opportunity of a lifetime. he didn't know a good thing when he had the chance,m so was a stooopid FW that you had a lucky escape from! ;) ... you are much better off not having that 'roll'! You will feel great once you are in a good relationship and share that. I think it might be lack of any physical comfort that brings that yearning to the fore.

I've tried cushions off the sofa on the floor too, and thats worked for me sometimes.

Take it easy. Is it possible to sleep at same time a children in your bed and then get out when he's home, you will at least sleep like a log til he rolls in, as it will still be early and you won't be worrying about him not being back yet? but that may start from his non-return from work, even just a lie down/rest on the top of the bed soon as the DC in bed.

PrincessFionne · 16/12/2012 00:09

and not to be worried of doctors, they are used to dealing with human suffering in all its forms if they've been doing it more than a couple of days!

(((hugs)))

PrincessFionne · 16/12/2012 00:13

oh hurrah I just finished my stint on the landing waiting for DC to sleep!!! yawn!

MaggieMay05 · 16/12/2012 00:28

Thanks Fi I think I will start doing that, grabbing a few hours as soon as I get them off to bed when hes working. Bless you with your landing sit out! Hope DC are all snoozing happily now and you can too.

DBro said he noticed a change in my DC today - hes not seen them for a while but noticed they seemed to be angry about small stuff (like not reaching a toy) and very clingy to me Sad

Re my kidneys, i think i may have caught a chill from my sofa sleeping, our boiler has been on the blink for ages and heating works on and off. FW has had someone out to look at it and we are now waiting for a spare part to be delivered that costs lots of money (that was 2 months ago) Xmas Hmm DC are ok as I wrap them up snuggly in bed but I sometimes wake up freezing on this stupid sofa - I may need to invest in one of those onesies! On the other hand, I am sure FW is nice and warm/cosy in a pub somewhere so the boiler is far from his mind. And who would know I get the speech at home that "we really need to tighten our belts" with him out living the life of riley every night with his friends. FW priorities hey? Sorry everyone I'm in a right ranting mood tonight. Thanks for listening xx

PrincessFionne · 16/12/2012 00:54

oh thats sooo good to hear Maggie! I used to sleep in dressing gown with a hot water bottle (socks, t/shirts plus sweatshirts, sweatpants, anything to be warm) when heating broke. sweet dreams to you as soon as you can! and hope you r feeling much better soon Sad heading for some better dreams now myself now that day is behind me!

PrincessFionne · 16/12/2012 00:57

Maggie put the oven on and leave the door open to heat it up downstairs before you settle for sleep, or I used to turn all the hob rings on too to take the worst of chill off (not whilst trying to sleep tho! Xmas Hmm ). Fan heaters are pretty easy to pick up in charity shops & those 2nd hand stores too. Fi

TryBreatheFly · 16/12/2012 01:32

Ah maggie just caught up and read your post... So sad that you are feeling so bad and having such a raw deal. I wish we were all in same town so some of us could have made your night off a good one.

Onesie might be a good idea re warmth. Also could you put a duvet under you and another on top to be cosy? Re the fb friend, it's ok lovey, you've committed no crime Smile other than being friendly. Lots of hugs to you. Xx

MaggieMay05 · 16/12/2012 01:51

Thank you ladies....I am wearing my trackie pants and jumper and toastie warm for now! No sign of FW yet so no proper sleep for me yet Xmas Hmm

Trying I think I may have been a bit over friendly to my old flame - stalker nutter alert!! I just want to be loved!!!!! Blimey what have I become! Xmas Blush

Night all xx

TisILeclerc · 16/12/2012 02:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MaggieMay05 · 16/12/2012 02:35

Leclerc sooooo glad you enjoyed yourself and were well enough to go, you deserve it my lovely! Bottoms up! And happy hangover! xx

janglebells2013 · 16/12/2012 08:58

Tis glad you had a good night you deserve it :)

Maggie really sorry youve had a horrible week and hope your feeling better soon and find a way to get more rest.

handover went AWFUL could not have been worse. dh's mum came in, i went to take dd and she said she wanted to put her in the oot, i said ill take her as she has her coat on, she said no ill take her coat off and put her up in the cot she's exhausted. so ends up i bring them into the living room (dd is fast asleep) next minute she starts on me.
she says PIL is off work on stress with high blood pressure, she is ill with stress, dh is really upset all the time, everyones stressed out, something has to be sorted out about dh and i, this can't go on... in the usual ranty way. i listen for awhile and then decide to stand up for myself and say i did not expect all this tonight, im the wrong person to talk to about all of this, im dealing with a lot too, you aren't the only one going through stuff.
then she said 'oh i KNOW what YOURE dealing with!!' (as if, im dealing with nothing in comparison to what she's dealing with) so that started it. full blown row, me starting crying and not able to stop, asking them to leave and them not leaving, as they thought it would help if they stayed. no i was crying because they were making it worse! i explained exactley what their darling son could be like, told them it was emotional abuse, and they acted like they did not believe me. the also emphasised on the 'hitting' he woudl never hit me. or hurt me. and i tried to explain that while he has never HIT me, he has hurt me from verbal and emotional abuse, but they didn't seem to understand this, probably because she can be quite verbally abusive herself and doesn't see anything wrong with it.

we actually left on better terms. they were glad to see things from my point of view. they also had asked to take dd overnight, and were shocked when i said i didn't have a problem with it, and were shocked when i said dh can see dd whenever he wants as long as its arranged. because HE is telling them a different story, probably because he does not want the responsibility. i said it has to come from him, not from you, although if you, as a grandparent, want to take her for the odd night thats ok, but that is different from him taking her as a father.

sorry for this mammoth post. it was sooo stressful. they are a bit like him the way they just get everything out there and so highly strung and they also said there must be reasons why is is the way he is. then they brought up my health which was bad. and i had to say yes its been stressful but its supposed to be in sickness and in health - its no reason to emotionally abuse someone.

so they understand things a bit more. they are going to ring my mum to talk. they want dh out of their house as they are also finding it really hard with his bad moods as a result of it all. and they say he is really upset all the time... which kills me as obviously i have feelings for him.

if you managed to get this far....thank you... it kinda overwhelmed me. then dd didn't sleep last night. i just feel like completely wiped out! its the first time ive really stood up for myself with his family. this whole thing has made me much stronger.

MatchsticksForMyEyes · 16/12/2012 09:28

Jangle, I've also had IL ranting at me. I hung up and have decided to screen calls. I will get a non-molestation order if necessary. Nobody should be berated in their own home. What I've finally realised is that I don't give a rat's arse what his family think of me. They are obviously going to believe his version of events. I know the truth.

PrincessFionne · 16/12/2012 09:59

you are amazin to do all that Jangles and like you say, stated your stuff despite their trying to overwhelming you. So, now they know, and they have heard your siide of things and are already fed up with their own son anyway. His bad moods are not your fault and something he really has to learn to sort out like he will, yeah right, not you (like an alcoholic).

YAY! For feeling much stronger!!!! and that will grow too, as this has only just happened and you still tired shocked from it. Go Girl!!! [fwhistle blowing].

PrincessFionne · 16/12/2012 10:07

and another Matchsticks whose given up caring what 'they' think! wooooo! [fwhistleblowing]. Yep they can all believe whatever they want go fuck themselves

aw leclerc I hope you feeling even half as brilliant this morning as you were last night Xmas Smile

and maggie you're all warm and toastie, hope you did manage to get a better sleep last night for that? take care and keep your kidneys warm! (speedy recovery). Keep your love for you, til someone deserving enough comes along to share it with?

TisILeclerc · 16/12/2012 15:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NiniLegsInTheAir · 16/12/2012 19:57

Hey guys, have just got back from a lovely weekend with my family, so great to see them all despite NSDH deciding he'd rather go down the pub with a friend leaving me to explain his absence and then trying to humiliate me in front of them when he came home.

Leclerc, glad you had a good time last night, you deserve it! I'm sure there's a reasonable explanation as to why DD hasn't responded. Hope you hear back from her soon.

And lots of cheering for you jangles for sticking up for yourself. ILs are the pits in my experience.

Maggie, when our heating broke a few years back I bought an electric oil filled radiator, just a small one but they really belt out some heat. It's saved my skin on many a cold night. Grin

I have a question to ask that's been bothering me all weekend. I just hope nobody takes offence to it as I really don't mean it to sound as bad as it might. Having toyed with the idea of divorce (not that I can afford it) and read so much on here from those of you who have left your FW, I've got to ask - what exactly are the benefits of doing it? From what I see if I did it, I'd still have to have contact with him so I can't block him out of my life. His parenting skills are awful (like his Dad, he has to be seen to be the 'good' guy), so I know that decisions on discipline, what DD can and can't have or do, anything I say he'll do the opposite. He will twist DD into thinking he's the 'good' parent, and it would kill me to see him fuck her mind up. At least when we live under the same roof I can monitor what he does to some extent and deflect it, he already treats her differently to how he treats me. He would make life very difficult for me, I'd have even less support with childcare than I do now (at least now I can make him take her to the park for an hour so I can get some peace). I'd have even less money than I do now, would never be able to afford a house, or a car. Most of my friends here would be cut off from me as they are mostly 'his' friends, and I have no nearby family. Although I wouldn't miss him as a person, everything else would suffer. From what I can see, my life would actually be worse.

It's highly likely that I'm missing some point to this, but this is what I see here. Would be interested to know your thoughts.

Hope everyone is ok and sorry for the essay. Smile

TisILeclerc · 16/12/2012 20:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MatchsticksForMyEyes · 16/12/2012 20:39

Reasons why I am happy I left:
-I am no longer so constantly stressed that I react angrily to little misdemeanours from the dc.
-The dc don't have to see their mum being yelled at, constantly criticised and listen to bad language directed at me.
-They can break or spill stuff by accident without it being a big deal
-I am actually financially better off as I am not paying a disproportionate amount into a joint account and I get tax credits now.
-I can do what I like when I like without answering to anyone.
-I am no-one's house slave.
-I have my life back.

TryBreatheFly · 16/12/2012 20:46

Hi ladies,

leclerc, have you heard from DD? Hope all ok there. How's the hangover Grin - I'm so glad for you that you had a great night and yay for your pulling power, even if you're not ready to put it into action yet!

Nini I know where you're coming from. I question myself like this constantly, especially having to leave my home. For me, I know separation is the right thing because I had one revelatory night (well for many other millions of reasons to, but this crystalised it for me), when FW had to stay over at his cousin's (he NEVER goes away or out Sad ) and the house just felt so right and peaceful and I realised I was living in seige conditions without being fully aware of it. I do question for myself whether divorce is a good option immediately - ie can I separate and then end up divorced by default eventually - divorce as outlined by my sol sounds so expensive - any advice wise ones?

Jangle the IL confrontation sounds horrendous, well done you for standing up for yourself and surviving! It made me almost-laugh in an ironic was that they are sick of their bad tempered son being in their house - motive for making you take him back, much! Bastards Grin. My SIL, last time I broke up with fw many moons ago, begged me to take him back as "he is nothing without you, he will crumble" I didn't have enough self worth at the time to ask her why my health and happiness should be sacrificed so her brother can have an attempt at a normal life due to my own sanity and stability (as perceived by her, not sure she got that right Wink ).

NiniLegsInTheAir · 16/12/2012 20:54

Thanks girls, lots to think about. Sad

MatchsticksForMyEyes · 16/12/2012 20:56

Try, it all depends on when you need your settlement. You can be separated for 2 years and then have the divorce all go through quite quickly if not contested by your FW.
I need to get my own place as I don't want to spend 2 years renting and being no further on. I also feel I just want to close this chapter of my life, to the extent that I am considering reverting to my maiden name, although I wouldn't like to be different to the dc.

TheSilverPussycat · 16/12/2012 21:05

FWEx could not afford to move out (nor I, really), and our (my) capital was in a joint portfolio. He wanted to move, and then divorce by consent after 2 years, but had no plan as to how to go about this (well, his plan was to magically sell the house overnight, as far as I could see, and split all 50/50)

I wouldn't have countenanced either of us moving out without a financial settlement first, even if we were still married. So no reason for me not to go straight ahead with divorce.