Monkeytousers is tops! Let’s hear more from you mkt!
It is very hard to decide what A and B actually mean.
Does A mean sex and no emotional intimacy.
Does B mean emotional intimacy but no sex, but they would like to?
Is the word “romantic” included purposefully, or loosely?
Is there a need for an extra question?
“Does it change the way you thought about him/her as a person either in terms of romance or loyalty?”
Why should an unromantic male be loyal at all, so long as nobody finds out!!
How many people truly commit to relationships “romantically”?
I have asked several males what is the difference between indulging in multiple sexual fantasies of sex with other women through pornography and actually doing it? The answer has been surprising. Not the loyalty for their partner but the fear of becoming emotionally involved and hence vulnerable. They fear this, whereas women yearn for it!
However, the same males, given the opportunity for a sexual encounter with another where there is absolutely no chance of this they say that they would do so as long as their partner did not discover it! This seems only likely to be provided by either as much pornography as they can get away with within a relationship where the emotional entitiy is known and so safe, or paid sex.
If A means that your man is not romantic, is not sexually loyal but wants to remain your man in a practical sense with the emotional issues already adressed, then he is still yours but you become romantically disillusioned. You may have a friendship-based relationship with sex thrown in. He has probably just come across the opportunity. It may not be serial. Maybe you never had romantic illusions about him or any man in the first place! You will only have to ensure that it does not become serial! – or you could eat him for breakfast.
If B means that he is a romantic type and has accidentally become attracted to somebody else romantically but is loyal sexually to you, he is still romantic. The chances are that he is romantic about himself, you and hence his sexuality. Perhaps a new term of “sensual sexuality” is necessary? He may like/love you both but see her more.
He is still yours but you will have to fight to keep him and the sex with her will only be a matter of time.
So, if you want to keep him immediately A is safer. B is more dangerous and you go about preventing all contact between him and her and hope that his feelings wane. If you want to keep your romantic illusions about him B is better.
Is a more financially independent and/or romantic woman more likely to choose A?
Aside, I struggle to understand also how women can cope with their men watching porn alongside their love relationship. Are the women who chose A less likely to put up with porn than those who chose B?
So, I would think that maybe some modern males with insecurities about women today, would also chose B. Do men chose A because they believe it far more likely that a woman will have sex because she feels romantically passionate about the person anyway? Hence, for them, there is no B.
Maybe a test of sexual compatibility between a couple rests upon whether they would both chose the same answer?
I agree with mkt, these issues are highly complex. We have a high number of people living alone, we have a high divorce rate, we have many sexless marriages that did not start out this way. Most people here are parents. We love our children physically as well as mentally. We are upset if they are unaffectionate. At the end of the day, sexuality has got to be an extremely important way for adults to show their love for one another. It is both high-jacked and materialized by basic instincts and fat cats. I think that sexual incompatibility is an unrepresented area of life and a cause of much unhappiness. Since women are more emotional creatures, I think women suffer more because of it. In the choices also that we make for our sons and daughters. Fifi or Barbie for the girls? Fireman Sam or Action Man for the boys.
Sorry about the long post.
My answer is A.