Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

POLL : Infidelity

166 replies

monkeytrousers · 10/04/2006 13:22

Women only please - Please help me with a bit of research. Think about the question and answer A or B - no inbetweens please.

Consider this question – what would upset or anger you more:

A)imagining your romantic partner having sexual intercourse with another person,

or

B)imagining your romantic partner becoming
emotionally involved with another person?

Thanks!

OP posts:
harpsichordcarrier · 10/04/2006 13:43

A
because of what secur said

Tinker · 10/04/2006 13:44

Agree with secur.

maturer · 10/04/2006 13:45

B....as B often leads to A...and I've been on the recieving end of what happens when b leads to A absolutely traumatic and hear5t breaking.

Lulu41 · 10/04/2006 13:47

B - definately - A - well its just sex right!!

scoobytwo · 10/04/2006 13:48

A
as to me thats both physicaly&emotionaly involved

monkeytrousers · 10/04/2006 13:50

Don't try to rationalise, just try to be honest about how you'd feel.

OP posts:
monkeytrousers · 10/04/2006 13:51

And there's no right or wrong answer, don't worry!

OP posts:
emmawill · 10/04/2006 13:53

Both, but probably a more because b could just remind at a friendship level but if he actually selpt with the person he's actually done something about it and committed the act.

WigWamBam · 10/04/2006 13:54

For me b would be worse - I would hate both, but I could get over a physical betrayal much more easily than an emotional one.

Molton · 10/04/2006 13:56

A

pashmina · 10/04/2006 13:57

b would be worse, but upset and angry with both.
would give my marriage a chance though.
very interesting article in Sunday Times mag about infidelity - don't know if anyone read it?

HRHQueenOfQuotes · 10/04/2006 13:58

definitely a for me.

bluesky · 10/04/2006 14:37

B.

But would definitely feel an utterly huge betrayal if it was A+B, the A on it's own is perhaps easier to forgive. But forming an emotional attachment to a member of the opposite sex that then leads to sex is horrendous.

Rhubarb · 10/04/2006 14:38

B

JoolsToo · 10/04/2006 14:39

B - obviously imo

both are bad scenarios but could just be for the sex - if he's emotionally involved that is BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD!!!

LilacBump · 10/04/2006 14:39

B

desperateSCOUSEstrife · 10/04/2006 14:40

defo B
emotional involvement would devastate me more than nookie

awayninahmanger · 10/04/2006 14:45

A

Lio · 10/04/2006 14:45

A

jasper · 10/04/2006 15:09

B

Kelly1978 · 10/04/2006 15:39

A I think. I don't think I would cope with either though.

SnowBoo · 10/04/2006 15:45

A as i would find this harder to forgive.

He would be prepared to throw away our marriage for a quick shag.

overdraft · 10/04/2006 15:53

Would say B for me.My husband did nearly throw it away for two shags and some fumbles. We are on the mend but if he had had a realationship with her and they even went shopping together, hotel rooms,or she ironed his shirts e.c.t I would have never forgiven. I certainly wouldn't forgive either again.Sharing dreams together and talking about problems with her and planing being would have torn me apart not that the whole thing didn't anyway.

secur · 10/04/2006 16:02

hmm, just though, did you mean upset you more but you would still forgive or cause the end of your relationship tupe upset? (IYSWIM!)

My view is on the basis that - if he did B (or feel in love etc) then he would leave for that love - I would be upset but it would be "with my blessing" in a manner of speaking.

A and he would be made to leave - either way there would be no forgivness or going back.

SenoraPostrophe · 10/04/2006 16:05

b if the implication is that the person involved is involved in ways that i am not, iyswim.