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Original poster

POLL : Infidelity

166 replies

monkeytrousers · 10/04/2006 13:22

Women only please - Please help me with a bit of research. Think about the question and answer A or B - no inbetweens please.

Consider this question – what would upset or anger you more:

A)imagining your romantic partner having sexual intercourse with another person,

or

B)imagining your romantic partner becoming
emotionally involved with another person?

Thanks!

OP posts:
me23 · 10/04/2006 16:05

B for me.

IvortheEngine · 10/04/2006 16:06

A is the worst imo.

overdraft · 10/04/2006 16:07

apparently men are supposed to be more upset of the thought of their wife having sex with someone else. Would be interesting if we all went and asked our partners the same question.The trend seems to be mostly B for the girls

alexsmum · 10/04/2006 16:10

b

Frenchgirl · 10/04/2006 16:10

B probably, I think....

Original poster
monkeytrousers · 10/04/2006 16:13

Hold your horses Overdraft! I was going to ask that, but needed to warn everyone that the majority of men (not all however) will probably say that the sexual betrayal would be harder to forgive. But I didn't want to start any arguments, IYSWIM. It isn't that he doesn't love you as much, it's just that this is one of the main sex differences that can be statistically and empirically tested. Ther are very good reasons for this.

OP posts:
alexsmum · 10/04/2006 16:13

if he got drunk one night and had a one night stand i would be devastated but i could maybe get past it.if he felt he was in love with someone else and was intimate with them..(vomits in head) i would just kill me.

Original poster
monkeytrousers · 10/04/2006 16:15

How many men are on Mumsnet? I should ask them not but as I've just explained it it isn't blind anymore.

OP posts:
overdraft · 10/04/2006 16:15

Sorry monkeytrousers.Looking forward to knowing the reasons.Ignore me Smile

Original poster
monkeytrousers · 10/04/2006 16:16
Grin
OP posts:
kama · 10/04/2006 16:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

catsmother · 10/04/2006 16:27

B ........ if I had to choose, but wouldn't be happy about either !

crazydazy · 10/04/2006 16:30

B - but A would upset me as sex between a couple is supposed to be special.

computersaysno · 10/04/2006 16:37

I would say B for the way I would feel but have been in a friendship with a man and although we didn't sleep together we did become very close and it was the guilt that led to me ending it as it felt very wrong for me. He was married but it didn't feel very wrong for him because we hadn't actually had sex so maybe the theory is correct.

notasheep · 10/04/2006 16:57

A i would be worried about where he has stuck his penis

LadyTophamHatt · 10/04/2006 17:07

A.
without a doubt.

I'd be a bit miffed about B, but he's not giving himself totally to "her" like he does me. Besides if my DH was concerned/worried about someone else to be "emotionally involved" then I suspect I would be too with the same person.

Bobley · 10/04/2006 17:51

It has to be B for me but him committing either would end the relationship!

roosmum · 10/04/2006 17:56

A

hate to choose between them, but A by a whisker.

harpsichordcarrier · 10/04/2006 18:28

by the way, I wouldn't necessarily consider b to be infidelity, depending on the details of course. I didn't go into marriage with the expectation that we would never have any emotional attachments to other people. It happens. it is more important what the person does imo. trying to cotrol what they feel is a recipe for disaster

4blue1pink · 10/04/2006 18:29

A - Aren't women supposed to say B?

roosmum · 10/04/2006 18:30

yes, prob. 4b1p...

i must be man-brained!

4blue1pink · 10/04/2006 18:32

me too!

Pruni · 10/04/2006 18:32

A

I see romantic involvement as a good thing - "better" than just shagging someone.

Of course I would be devastated if either happened, but at least if it was B I could possibly condone it, iyswim.

(Hmm, hypothetically speaking.)

overdraft · 10/04/2006 19:00

B leads to A though as Maturer said ?

NomDePlume · 10/04/2006 19:01

B