Residual Parenting Commitments, The Last Turkey In The Shop, Boiled Bunnies, Men With Fish and Stolen Condoms. Dating Thread XXXI.

[FlorentinePogen]

Get on with it, daters.............

Hi all. I've been a bit quiet recently. Reflecting but not inactive.

I've now been in touch with a fun sounding Aussie, who now sends me friendly, flirty texts. We hope to meet up Monday. Plus there's a slightly older chap who I met today for lunch. I will be 52 in a couple of weeks, he's 58. I've never dated anyone that much older than me, and he does seem his age in some ways. We do seem to have quite a bit in common, and chatted away easily for a couple of hours over lunch. He seems keen and he is lovely. He has texted since and asked if we can meet again, signing of as 'Your sugar daddy', so he is aware of the age gap too. It's not really that much difference is it? 6 and a half years?

Ooh hello Spoon welcome back!! If you like him and you want to see him again I think you should just reply and say that. I don't think there's any reason to believe it will be another 5 weeks. If it is, then you'll know it's not for you. Either way I'm glad he's turned out to be a nice guy - you deserve it.

Tonight I am (literally) on the sofa with my laptop, tv remote, lots of nail varnish and holiday edition of the radio times. I am very happy.

Hi Spoon it sounds like where I was with Half Italian Stallion. He was totally tied up with family commitments and got over whelmed by things. He was a poor planner too.

Meeting up was and as I was a lower priority than his boys and work (understandably). So if you are happy to live with knowing this and he is lovely stick with it, but maybe realise that this is what it's going to be like

No advice spoon just saying Hi. Hope it works out for you

poppy You are a busy bee!

Hello Spoon I'm very glad you're back too. With Cuthbert, whatFayster said.

I have a coffee date tomorrow morning lets see if this one cancels before I get ready. We haven't spoken on the phone, seems good, we'll see.

Another who lives a long way away got narked with me because I told him his intimate texts regarding what he would like to do to me were too much. Nothing filthy but still a bit when he is focussing on bits of me when he hasn't met me. His fantasies, not mine. I didn't like his reaction so will not now be meeting him.

Juliette, good decision re the intimate texter, I think. It's the sort of thing I might like if I was really into someone, but definitely not from someone I've never met. And if he got narked about it, I think that says a lot. Hope the coffee date goes well.

Spoon, so glad to see you back, I've missed you and been wondering how you are. I'd feel similar to you about the next date and Cuthbert's reaction to it, but also agree with Lulu re some people being planners and some not. Have you texted him back yet?

Busy bee = tart? Still focusing on Sugar Daddy really. But will meet up with fun Auusie.

SD is really is easy to get along with and seems keenish on me - always a benefit. He's been married twice and lived with some one too. He has told me though, he thought I should know.

No tart! Just getting out and meeting them poppy I am glad HIS didn't have any lasting effect

Thanks 48 not a tart then. I still think about HIS and if I am honest am comparing others to him. Have heard nothing from though him despite the promised emails. TBH I didn't really expect to hear from him. Maybe just hoped. Ah well.

Well, I've text Cuthbert but just some general chit-chat. When I text him yesterday I did say I wanted to see him again, and asked if he was free, I feel as though if I mention it again I'd be nagging. He's said he wants to see me soon, let's hope he's true to his word. I admit I'll be a bit disappointed if I don't get to see him again before Christmas though.

Hey velvet loving the new more positive name .. New job still going well?

'Velvet' is one of my very favourite words. :)

Job remains fab thanks Kirsty I almost can't believe my luck. Am getting to work with lots of old colleagues, which is lovely especially one of them but won't be doing anything about that unless all goes pearshaped with Cuthbert

At one time Velvet was my top choice of name for a DD...it is probably for the best I only have DSs!

Can I ask for a bit more advice regarding the Artist please?

So yesterday, having got a job offer which involves moving abroad, I texted her to say that things weren't going to work out because I couldn't cope with what she needed in terms of a relationship along with everything else. I didn't just say she was too full on and stalkerish as I thought that could be hurtful.

Several phone calls later, then she accused me of cheating on her because I'd asked someone for a coffee online a week before I met her - and she'd heard from that girls' exH, who it turns out is a friend of hers, that I'd asked this girl out last week and boasted about it to him. So then she was in tears, calling me a joke, saying she was much better off, her mate, the ExH said I was a wanker anyway, she's far too good for me.

So I replied back saying he was making stuff up, I'd always been honest with her, but if she wanted to believe that then whatever. She immediately turns around and says she wants to be friends, she misses me, we could still have fun times together when I'm back over in the UK, what's my address she's bought me a christmas gift, whats my address, what's my address. Then this morning. What's my address, what is it, what is it.

So. What I want to do is reply and say 'Look, I don't want to give you my address. You're getting fucking creepy. Leave me alone, I don't want to be friends. I don't want you knowing where my children live.'

However, that could be seen as offensive. Can anyone suggest something telling her to just leave it, as receiving 18 text messages from her in the space of 24 hours after I'd told her I wanted to end it is just too much. I can block her number (if I can work out how to do it) but I really just want her to just leave it.

Banta how about ..... I'm very sorry to have upset you do much that was never my intention. However I have made my decision and having done so, can't really see any point in us carrying on this contact by text or phone calls. I don't intend to give you my address, there really isn't any need for you to have it now. I suggest we just leave thing be now and I genuinely wish you the very best for the future.

I would then suggest if you get follow up messages just finish by replying one final time with a ..... As I said in my last text we need to leave things now and I won't be replying to any more text or phone calls.

Bant, I?m a long-time lurker and I hope you don?t mind me chiming in here. I think you?ve tried to handle the whole Artist business as sensitively as you can and now she?s just plain scary. I would ignore her if I were you - do not engage. I think she?s one of those whereby even negative attention is better than no attention; she?ll get bored in the end. You also need to head off alternative address sources for her and make sure the mate?s ExH doesn?t give out your address either, if he knows it. Personally I don't block numbers - if someone's ramping up the insults etc I want to know about it (that's not happened though... yet). Good luck.

Oh dear, bant, she's really not getting the hint is she. How about 'Artist, think of me as a man you saw for a couple of weeks. The involvement is over and I am not going to give you my address or reply to any more texts from you. Best wishes, Bant'.

Banta - she's scaring me and I haven't even met her

Would go with Lulu's suggestion but delete the line re the address. It should be obvious that you're not going to hand it over from the rest of the text and baldly stating it like that might just enrage her and inflame things?

So:

"I'm very sorry to have upset you so much that was never my intention. However, I have made my decision and having done so, can't really see any point in us carrying on this contact by text or phone calls. I suggest we just leave things be now and I genuinely wish you the very best for the future".

bant you are good with the words for us so what would you advise us to write? Just remember it is no contact at all or she will suggest less is ok.

Agree totally with you on not giving your address. Would this guy know it? Best uo be cautious.

bant what lulu says is perfect

Call blocking -> just select in android phone book aka People and click Block caller. iphone - google it, it seems you need an app.

Crossed posts. What lulu said.

Oh Bant, you've tried so hard to be decent about this but she really doesn't want to make this easy for you does she? I honestly think the time for polite, carefully worded replies is past. You should either block or ignore her, or - and I don't know if it's a good idea, it's just a thought - you could send her something like, "I'm really finding this very distressing, please just leave me alone."

In the mean time, have you seen the thread Snape linked to earlier? There are a bunch of MNers looking for a man in your neck of the woods.

Budapest, you mean?