Residual Parenting Commitments, The Last Turkey In The Shop, Boiled Bunnies, Men With Fish and Stolen Condoms. Dating Thread XXXI.

[FlorentinePogen]

Get on with it, daters.............

I emailed Widow earlier.

Being the awkward sod that I am, I did it my way - but I did take into account most of the advice I got earlier in the thread.

The first message I got across was that I was going to be travelling an awful lot over the next while. This is a bit of white lie. For instance, I am going to my daughter and husband in New Zealand, but not for as long as I intimated. My purpose in this, was to give her the feeling that this guy was not going to be around expecting to up the ante - i.e. give her the feeling of space.

I did not allude at all to the photographs and only mentioned Italy in a backdrop kind of way.

When I put my mind to it, I can write in a fairly humorous fashion and did it in a self-deprecating way. I gave her bits of news on stuff we had spoken about and brought her up to date on family stuff that she would remember.

Touched on Christmas and how difficult it is for my daughter who immersed herself with my wife in the whole festive thing.

Overall, I did it in a free wheeling kind of way - in a conversational tone.

I put in three "hooks" which hopefully will give her the opportunity to reply in a non-agenda way.

No hugs, no kisses, no over familiarity, no smileys. Just hope that my humorous approach came across in a warm way.

Just wait now.

God no, I don't see bant as bad fro breaking up with L'artiste 2 weeks before Xmas... Then it's new year...then it's valentines day... There is never a perfect time. You tried to slow things down, it didn't work. You were uncomfortable with the pace.. It is sensible and mature to call a halt to things.

Thank you for very kind words everyone re job. I have . Shall resume job search after appeal meeting against work cutting rent subsidy (next Thursday) & who-mas celebrations. Technically off work next week (but in on Monday as big boss wants something..) & looking forwards to taking DS1 to some galleries/xmassy things and big treat hobbit on Tuesday.

Oh. Just remembered. I have an OKC account. Off to check. Shall report back.

Oh. Perfect man in Washington 3390 miles away.

Equally gorgeous bloke in Paris.

Arguably a bit nearer....

Dean that sounds like a really good approach, leaving the door open for her to respond without feeling pressurised. I really hope you hear from her soon. Please let us know what happens!

Bant my last post was a 'you' in the sense of 'one only has oneself to blame', not you (Bant). For the avoidance of doubt

Had a real lightbulb moment today. Realised that I don't want a serious relationship, as in one that's going to lead to living together, children/blended families, marriage. I do want something that's serious in the sense that there's commitment and monogamy there, emotional involvement and sharing of each other's lives, and even love, but that's as far as I want it to go. For now, at least.

I'm very surprised as I'd always thought that what I wanted as my eventual aim was to recreate a family set up ue me, bloke, various children, but it really isn't.

Feel a bit taken aback, but in a good way

BantaBaby, Assume job is in Budapest ? Beautiful city. Hungarian is a bastard of a language to learn, friend of ours married a Hungarian lass, he is taking classes....and finding it 'challenging'.
However, if you can juggle your job to fit in with children, I'd say give it a whirl.
Pity about L'Artiste....one door closes and Hungary says 'Hello'. What's not to like ?

Two words Bant

Sok Hal

That's Plenty of Fish in Hungarian (allegedly).

OKC random (banglalore) Just love woman with tattoos.... find them extremely hot .. and you are one of the extremely hot one :-D

Me: no. I'm one of the frumpy, difficult ones.

OWW that is exactly what I want -perfectly happy to chill in my own space but enjoy good company a few times a week and know that another adult loves me in that special 'Coffee' kinda way..

OWW me too.

I knew soon after I ended things with my ex that I would never live with another man.

I was me again it felt fantastic. I still want someone to share my life with in a special 'Coffee' kinda way. Love how you put it ike

It all sounds very civilised girls..cheers!

48, Ike and OWW exactly what I am looking for too

I just want someone who can respect me for who I am, without smothering me.
Would love someone to be there for me, when and where I need them. Someone who can give me room to breathe , and share my space as well .
Just too much to ask for I think .
Back to the sofa , Roxy Music and hot chocolate

tweed I am not giving up while heart and soul flesh is still willing. Not sure if OD is the way forward for me though.

Oooh Tweed, 'Ladytron' is just about one of my all time fav tracks...can I join u on the sofa with a hot choc???

I promise not to put my feet on yer lap..

Got Coffee date arranged for Sunday yippee. Apparently a meal and light refreshments will also be provided ... Can't wait! Just have to try and find a babysitter tomorrow now.

Last two dates (three if you count the overnighter we have planned for Friday) have all been at LM's instigation so I don't feel like I'm chasing him any more. Different feeling to things since we talked earlier in the week

OWW You sound in a happy place. Enjoy

OWW glad things are back on track

Morning all

Sorry to hear about job snape.

OWW I feel the same. Finding that person is hard. My ex seemed like he could be a potential but he wanted me to mould into the 'I go to homebase' on Saturday regime (nothing against home base) and I wouldn't.

Date with fireman was good. He is very thin and my usual type is somewhat chunky. He is funny, seems emotionally stable and has enough banter to keep me going. I was his first Internet date. He lives miles away but I'd see him again.

Scatty Haha! at Homebase. Not for me either. I want to grow old a little disgracefully

So the teeth were ok?

I had a lovely email from my son in OZ this morning Why do all the men in my life keep fucking off to OZ

He has been gone a month now. Just been promoted to Head of Kitchen for the Surf Camp where he landed his first job. Thats my boy! He should be a level 1 surf Instructor by the time he moves on to Perth in Feb. He got hammered at their christmas do last night. Free bar

I miss him.

I wouldn't mind a Saturday in Homebase with someone. My Saturdays were spent pretty much the same as my Mon-Fridays, ie me looking after the kids while my XH worked. Only dif was at the weekends he worked at home instead of in his shop. The only way to drag him out at the weekend was to plan something special far in advance and put it in his diary. I was always a little jealous of those families that walked around Homebase or Ikea together at the weekends.

48. Ahhh the teeth. I knew something wasn't quite right. One missing at the side. Otherwise reasonable. He reminded me of the tall doctor from St Elsewhere years ago. yoga I get what you are saying. Hombase, ikea etc and couples/families give impression of unification. Even if me and the ex went to these places, there was definitely no unity!