A Sex Question......

[moonblushtomato]

DH has a bee in his bonnet (or underpants) that we are not having enough sex. Just wondered what the going rate is these days?
We are in on our early 40s, have been married for nearly 8 years and have 3DCs aged 15, 6 and 4.
btw we are averaging about once a week which I'm quite happy with.

also, that poster claimed to be a regular

except that was the first and only post in that name

which implies what ?

name changer because she is ashamed of what her husband does to her ? Maybe...but that didn't come across did it ?

My gut told me something wasn't right with the poster so I reported. I hope in a way it was someone being a twat as the thought of someone living like that, being treated like shit without realising it, is too awful.

no actually I name change quite frequently because i have friends on here. I am not ashamed of what my DH and I do. I don't think there is anything to be ashamed of. Not quite sure why MNHQ deleted my post.

I have had a couple of PMs from people who, like myself, can see no problem with my relationship.

I am not treated like shit. my DH is the most lovely amazing husband I could ever wish for. I LOVE him and want him to be happy. He feels the same about me!

cronullansw one of the first people on here who seems to be talking sense.

People have PM'd you in the last couple of hours about this? To validate what's going on in your relationship?

yes people have pm'd me, most saying very similar things to cronullansw

One way or another, you need help.

sure i do

Have you not thought that people may have a point or are you so conditioned to think that your husband putting lube on you while you sleep so he can fuck you is fine?

sllloooomee, if you align yourself with posters like cronulla, you have more problems than I originally thought

or it simply makes me think you are both coming from the same place

Iv - that is out of order.

I don't think I have seen a more appropriate name before.

If I said to him to stop he would, if I said that he should never do that again then he wouldn't. We love each other, we want each other to be happy and enjoy ourselves.

this extends to our sexlife, as well as our life in general. I would think that waking up to him having sex with me is the most vanilla part of our sex life!

Gawd help you

he is very dominant, he likes to be in charge. BUT this is not an abusive relationship. there is love and respect.

every post another call to arms

I actually feel sick reading this.
Slloooomee do you have girls?

what has that got to do with anything?

you would be ok with your daughters being fucked without your consent, is what it has to do with

without their consent

Well I'm on your side sllloooomee

We all have our oen individual sexual feelings and desires, and it's always said that anything goes between two consenting adults.

If you have made it clear to your DH that you are content for him to initiate sex while you are asleep, I see nothing wrong with that at all. It's no-one else's business if you have agreed that he doesn't have to wake you up first and ask for express permission on every occasion, and it doesn't sound like rape to me.

Of course, should you wake up and say 'sorry DH I'm not in the mood tonight', he must respect that and stop immediately. I would hope that you have that understanding as well.

Because what you describe as relationship full of love and respect sounds to me full of abuse and lacking in respect and boundaries.
You think he respects you but he uses you and belittles you with his actions.
It's a terrible message to pass on to children, makes me wonder about the rest of your relationship.