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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

How long were you together before you had children?

125 replies

emkana · 31/03/2006 20:01

Friend of mine has just announced she is pregnant and they have been together 18 months, of which the first six months they weren't together "properly" because she was still married and with her dh. Sad

I feel this is very soon and I worry if she is doing the right thing, but of course it's her choice.

Dh had been together over five years when I got pregnant, and I'm glad we had some childfree years together.

OP posts:
souvenir · 01/04/2006 22:16

7 years together, 5 of them living together. I'm glad we had that amount of childfree time but I do find I miss it too. I mean if I'd never had it I wouldn't miss it IYSWIM?

PiccadillyCircus · 01/04/2006 22:16

DS was born 4 years after we got married.

We'd been together nearly 5 years when we got married.

joash · 01/04/2006 22:39

about four years - but we were 'trying' for about 2 of those (and we already had DD1 from my prev relationship)

puddingandpie · 01/04/2006 22:54

Courting for 18months unofficially living together for most of them and married for 1 month when fell preg with d/d 1 have two d/d and will be 6 years married june.

really envious of folks who had time without kids oh to swim in the sea together alone!! but love my kids dearly just would love a break Grin

BelleFleur · 02/04/2006 21:46

5 months together of which 2 months married.Grin

SnowBoo · 02/04/2006 21:48

Were together 10months, got pg, told his fellow partners at work he'd been 'dipping company ink' and oh by the way, she's pg! Got married six months ago, been together 5 years.

crazydazy · 02/04/2006 21:50

I got pregnant the first time we made love so when people ask we always work out from DD's age plus 9 months, she was born a month early Blush

expectingsummerihope · 03/04/2006 00:04

Started dating in 1990, moved in together 6 years later, then had ds in 2004. Guess you could say that we're not hasty!

serenity · 03/04/2006 00:17

Got together May 1987
Got pg with DS1 May/June 1997
Got our own place August 1997 (were living with MIL prior to this)
Got married December 1997
Had DS1 February 1998 (DS2 2000, DD 2003)

So essentially pottered about for 10 years not making any real decisions, had an 'oh my god' moment on our anniversary and did everything momentous in the following 9 months Grin

I think I might have been rebelling against my parents though who met at a christmas party in 1969, married on valentines day 1970 and had me May 1971 Shock

tegan · 03/04/2006 07:24

My sil was with her dp 3 weeks when she found she was pg, and yes my beautiful nephew is his.

fairydust · 03/04/2006 07:36

together for 3 yrs but had know well 2 yrs previous to that.

lazycow · 03/04/2006 10:43

Was with dh 5 years before having ds.

BUT a friend of mine married her dh within 4 months of meeting him and was pregnant 1 month later. They went on to have 4 children in 5 years. They seem happy to me so I don't think you can make any judgments about how long people need to have been together. A lot of it is rto do with how ready people feel.

emmawill · 03/04/2006 11:23

We were together 6 months but due to us both working anti-social hours and living 1 and a half hours away we were likely to see each other once a week. DH moved in with me leaving his home and job, 5 months later and got married 1 year later and have had 2nd child. We've had problems but doesn't everyone? Are very in love though.

MrsWood · 03/04/2006 21:15

We met in January 1996, got engaged in March and got married in November the same year :)
But, with the kids we weren't so quick - we were together for 5 years before I had first (unplanned) pregnancy. Unfortunately, we lost the baby but kept trying afterwards and after losing another baby, we finally had our dd in 2003.

littlemisspiggy · 04/04/2006 14:22

15 years (5 yrs together &10 years married)before we had DS. Looking back we think we were probably a little over cautious but the time never seemed to feel right.

blueteddy · 04/04/2006 14:26

We had been together for 3 years, but had only lived together for 5 months. Not long enough, but DS wasn't planned.

Fimbo · 04/04/2006 14:32

Met at work Summer 1993
Got together at Xmas Party December 1993
Moved in together Summer 1993
Engaged February 1996
Married November 1996
DD born June 1998
DS born December 2003

Fimbo · 04/04/2006 14:35

Oops - Moved in together Summer 2004

Fimbo · 04/04/2006 14:36

Bahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!

1994 even

tootiredtotalk · 04/04/2006 14:37

met in oct 2002
moved in dec 2002
proposed feb 2003
married july 2003
pregnany by july 2004
baby came along april 2005
marriage still going strong............

HAPPYFACE · 04/04/2006 14:40

Together for 3 yrs and married for 6 mths before I got pg with dd.
We moved in together after only 8 months, so actually had a few "free" years.

oliveoil · 04/04/2006 14:41

Met 1996
6 years of happy ballooning around
dd1 2002
dd2 2004

I am soooo glad we had the long time together first as it has been verrrrrry crap and hard with 2 so close together sometimes and when you both feel like telling each other to fock off, you remember it wasn't always like this. And will improve (hopeful face).

purplemonkeydishwasher · 04/04/2006 14:42

1st date November 1997
Moved in together August 1998
Engaged June 2002
Married November 2002
DS born September 2005
(and up until 2004 I was ADAMANT that I was NEVER HAVING KIDS! Now I want MORE!)

Utopia · 04/04/2006 16:45

Met 95, moved in together after 2 weeks.
Engaged 00
Married 01
DS1 02
DS2 03
DD 05

Hopefully looking at PDB 06/07!

I'm absolutely awful at being a mother - but I do love the children (usually between 7.30pm and 7pm!!!!

NatalieJane · 04/04/2006 16:48

We met Aug 2000
Moved in Oct 2000
Engaged Oct 2000
Married Dec 2000
Concieved DS June 2001
DS born March 2002
Number 2 due in November :o

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