Concerned about attempted silencing/derailing of issues (via hunting/mocking)

[Halfway]

I posted a thread in AIBU yesterday (perhaps foolishly), which thankfully did turn out to be very helpful, but also turned out to be extremely hurtful. And while overall, I gained a great deal of benefit/clarity/insight from it, I also spent a great deal of the day in tears and/or raging, and feeling generally crap about myself.

The post was about a friend, which led a lot of people to think I musn't be that emotionally invested, because it wasn't about me.

However, I was emotionally invested because I felt like I was watching my friend potentially walk into a very, very dangerous situation (which could end up in her hurt or even dead), and worse, I had the realisation that I could not stop her, but could only try to, and may very well fail.

In the context of that worry, these are the specific things I am complaining about:

a) sustained piss-taking/mocking (which not only humiliate/hurt me, but distracted and derailed the thread, with others jumping on board)

b) failure/refusal to stop the piss-taking/mocking when asked nicely to, and despite my making it clear that I was finding it painful

LET ME MAKE IT VERY CLEAR - I have nothing against genuine concerns, disagreements, and even disbelief of my thread, or specifics in my posts if these things are stated outright (not passive-aggressively buried in in-jokes), and if the posters simply make their position clear and report to MNHQ.

There is a valid need for this kind of watchdog activity, and I am in no way trying to stop that.

But the mocking, especially the sustained mocking by some posters, and 'ha ha' twisting of my dilemma into a funny joke conversation... well that hurt. That really hurt. And I've been seriously hurt in the past (raped, beaten to broken bones), so am no hand-wringing wallflower. It was triggering.

I think that behaviour is wrong, and I think it is going to hurt a lot more people other than me. Perhaps it is already hurting people who have severe issues of their own, and feel they cannot post because they will be laughed at.

Anyway, I'm concerned about it, deeply concerned, and still a bit disturbed myself (although much emotionally cooler).

I'm also not sure how this fits into "Relationships", so apologies if it seems weird here, but I seem to be inviting more suspicion by posting in AIBU, so here it is, and I'm grateful to anyone willing to listen.

A turkey would be nice.

But if Tech was struggling we could have an American Flag and double up with July 4th.

[hgrin] a turkey smiley would be brill and Puritan hats on smiley faces.

If we ask MNHQ ever so nicely would they consider it?

Still pondering.
Getting read for myself for tomorrow.
Am thinking that MN does these deletes all over the place, but it may not have a legal remit to do it.

It may be able to choose to do it,but it may not be legal?

I registered my Christmas name the other day (I am keeping it for Dec 1st in deference to Maryz)

I am very proud of it!

I would like a reindeer smiley

If poeple can sue each other on here, but MNHQ is just the conduit,...

I could become amillionfroths!

I think (to be fair to them) that they are stuck between a rock and a hard place amillion.

It was probably easier all around when they just left us to it. But now they are trying to referee, but they can't because the trolls will win if they delete everything that is "troll-hunting" and they can't be seen to condone "troll-hunting" either.

I think (and I've been here a long time) that the trolls are the real problem. And it seems to me that in the old days mnhq could prove trolling (everyone had one email address, one ip address, one mn persona); nowadays they can't prove trolling or sockpuppetting, and they won't delete without proof.

I am very careful not to attack vulnerable posters on sensitive topics. But at the same time I find it very hard to watch vulnerable posters (especially vulnerable newbies) get sucked into threads which I am absolutely sure are a load of bollocks.

Yes, there is a risk that I may be wrong. But if I am right, there is a much higher risk that a lot of people will be hurt.

So I don't get involved and don't comment when the thread doesn't matter. But when it is obviously expanding, drawing more people in, asking for rl help, or money, or experiences, and emotionally draining other posters, then yes I do get involved to protect those multiple posters who will get hurt.

So shoot me .

Picky, picky, picky [hhmm]

We could host a Puritan Night. Bagsie I be TrollfinderGeneral.

I'll bring the cooking utensils. Who shall we eat? Generally I'd recommend a vegan, they would taste better.

Can we burn them at the stake?

With our hats on?

Jeeeez. I leave you lot alone for a few days, and this is what you get up to.

Actually, I blame Olivia for having a birthday and not inviting all the MNetters - that would have been fun, O. (hope you had a lovely day)

OP
You started a HIGHLY controversial thread which I think went pretty well - you got loads of very helpful advice and just a very few silly comments and jokes. I know the jokes were a bit annoying but they really weren't that bad. I have seen threads seriously derailed by jokes, but tbh, the derailing was done by you complaining about the jokers. If you had ignored them then they would have gotten bored and wandered off.

I do think that this is sometimes an issue, but on this particular thread I felt that most MNetters were actually quite constrained. Aside from the 'run like fuck' advice.

As to this thread - I really don't see what you hope to achieve. MNHQ dealt with the thread well (am loving the thread suspension thing, guys), deleted the offensive posts and presumably slapped a few wrists.

Where do we get from that to wondering if MNHQ should be sued over lack of care or some such rot? Mind boggling.

Yes, there will be ample opportunity to burn at the stake. And eat, although I wouldn't recommend the more bitter members of the brethren. I vote SGB to be HeadCarver.

Would any of you like to add to my "support the poor Americans" thread here

Ta ever so.

I added.

I like emoticons. [hgrin]

But Beer, this is a National Day emoticon, not like a stupid bear or mug . They can get rid of them. And the wink and hmm as far as I'm concerned.

Thanks Stratters.

I like the humphy hmm.

MaryZcary,thank you for your long post.
I think MNHQ has to get up to speed with all this.
I think MNHQ has to act a lot faster to spare peoples feelings, get rid of the hey ho,I'm late to the party ,and delete the threads where it suspects a troll.

I still want a 'blowing rasperry at you all' emoticon. And a 'mooning at you' one.

I'd lose myself. Or , as it's so PA.