Concerned about attempted silencing/derailing of issues (via hunting/mocking)

[Halfway]

I posted a thread in AIBU yesterday (perhaps foolishly), which thankfully did turn out to be very helpful, but also turned out to be extremely hurtful. And while overall, I gained a great deal of benefit/clarity/insight from it, I also spent a great deal of the day in tears and/or raging, and feeling generally crap about myself.

The post was about a friend, which led a lot of people to think I musn't be that emotionally invested, because it wasn't about me.

However, I was emotionally invested because I felt like I was watching my friend potentially walk into a very, very dangerous situation (which could end up in her hurt or even dead), and worse, I had the realisation that I could not stop her, but could only try to, and may very well fail.

In the context of that worry, these are the specific things I am complaining about:

a) sustained piss-taking/mocking (which not only humiliate/hurt me, but distracted and derailed the thread, with others jumping on board)

b) failure/refusal to stop the piss-taking/mocking when asked nicely to, and despite my making it clear that I was finding it painful

LET ME MAKE IT VERY CLEAR - I have nothing against genuine concerns, disagreements, and even disbelief of my thread, or specifics in my posts if these things are stated outright (not passive-aggressively buried in in-jokes), and if the posters simply make their position clear and report to MNHQ.

There is a valid need for this kind of watchdog activity, and I am in no way trying to stop that.

But the mocking, especially the sustained mocking by some posters, and 'ha ha' twisting of my dilemma into a funny joke conversation... well that hurt. That really hurt. And I've been seriously hurt in the past (raped, beaten to broken bones), so am no hand-wringing wallflower. It was triggering.

I think that behaviour is wrong, and I think it is going to hurt a lot more people other than me. Perhaps it is already hurting people who have severe issues of their own, and feel they cannot post because they will be laughed at.

Anyway, I'm concerned about it, deeply concerned, and still a bit disturbed myself (although much emotionally cooler).

I'm also not sure how this fits into "Relationships", so apologies if it seems weird here, but I seem to be inviting more suspicion by posting in AIBU, so here it is, and I'm grateful to anyone willing to listen.

Mundane is a bit like vanilla. Its a term that people with unusual tastes lifestyles etc use describe the mainstream. Or at least that is my understanding of it.

Of course Ed isn't a troll. Or a sockpuppet. Or any of that rubbish.

Bullying is different to piss-taking. Piss-taking is different to troll-hunting.

Maryz and Purbles aren't mundane.

Sarah has a nice butter dish.

Halfway's friend isn't going to let her boyfriend eat her.

I still haven't answered question 5 of my application form

And this thread is stupid.

Thanks, Straw.

Like, maybe, to describe people who don't eat each other as part of sex? Maybe [hgrin]

Though SGB applies it to people with cars . Which is rather sweeping.
I don't mind being vanilla. Embrace the Bean.

It's also what historical re-enactors call people in street clothes.

I agree with Ivor (and think she has a rather lufferly name).

Oh, ta Straw. Maybe Maryz and Purbles are mundane then let's not go there

What is the job Ivor? Let us answer Q5.

Didn't win the contest though

I am beginning to feel uneasy about this site.

Oh, yes

Give us Question 5. And answer a question for me:

My children are scattered at various Hallowe'en events. Should I

(a) open the and stay here
(b) tell dh he is on taxi/hospital/police station pickup duty
(c) forget about them
(d) all of the above
or
(e) have a cup of tea and go and drive around collecting them at various times between now and midnight.

Answers on a postcard, please.

Yes, MaryZ is right, it is entirely possible. Which means it is actually now as impossible to prove someone is a troll as isn't. You simply can't tell for certain if someone is also another poster any more, by virtue of technology.

Ed that is in no way aimed at you, just in case you're worried, it really is simply answering poor old Purbles.

It is up to people whether they heed warnings in life.
It is up to people whether they shoot the messenger.

Thanks Sue, it's 'Give an example of using your initiative in helping solve a problem'

I think the fact that I can't think of one means that i) I don't have any initiative and/or ii) If I do have some, I've never used it to solve a problem.

Trouble is I really don't want the job. It sounds horrible, the money is crap and when I rang for further info the woman on the end of the phone was rude and patronising.

I am doing massive sighs

I don't get why the OP is upset at the thread being locked and feels she was silenced. But would have been perfectly happy for the thread to have been deleted?

(e) Maryzed. But barter it for something good.

(d) Maryz, definitely.

Q5) I have a problem currently as I have no work. Using my initiative, I decided to apply for this job. Do lets crack on?
Love from Ivor.

maryZ definitely b.

No, no, owning a car isn't mundane. Shagging in a car is.

Unless you're dogging I suppose? [hhmm]

Sue . How could you .

Ivor, make one up. For example (office job) - the phone lines are down so you used your mobile. Or the photocopier went tits up so you went to the local shop. Surgeon - your patient had the wrong leg to be lopped off marked with blue marker so you woke him up to check whether he really wanted his left or right leg removed.

You know, sensible, made up shite. Like all application forms.

Thankyou Ivor. And Sugar.

I vote d).

Ivor, you ran out of tracing paper so you used loo roll. Or you ran out of loo roll so you used leaves. Obviously, leaves wouldn't work for tracing, so don't muddle the two.

Thank you both I'll get there...

It doesn't close until after an interview I've been offered for a job I actually want so I may just place it on the 'If I have to' pile

Or, '....so I used this application form. Soz'

(With the winky face, so they can see that I'm fun loving and ditzy and just generally-fun-to-be-around, every-office-needs-one)