Concerned about attempted silencing/derailing of issues (via hunting/mocking)

[Halfway]

I posted a thread in AIBU yesterday (perhaps foolishly), which thankfully did turn out to be very helpful, but also turned out to be extremely hurtful. And while overall, I gained a great deal of benefit/clarity/insight from it, I also spent a great deal of the day in tears and/or raging, and feeling generally crap about myself.

The post was about a friend, which led a lot of people to think I musn't be that emotionally invested, because it wasn't about me.

However, I was emotionally invested because I felt like I was watching my friend potentially walk into a very, very dangerous situation (which could end up in her hurt or even dead), and worse, I had the realisation that I could not stop her, but could only try to, and may very well fail.

In the context of that worry, these are the specific things I am complaining about:

a) sustained piss-taking/mocking (which not only humiliate/hurt me, but distracted and derailed the thread, with others jumping on board)

b) failure/refusal to stop the piss-taking/mocking when asked nicely to, and despite my making it clear that I was finding it painful

LET ME MAKE IT VERY CLEAR - I have nothing against genuine concerns, disagreements, and even disbelief of my thread, or specifics in my posts if these things are stated outright (not passive-aggressively buried in in-jokes), and if the posters simply make their position clear and report to MNHQ.

There is a valid need for this kind of watchdog activity, and I am in no way trying to stop that.

But the mocking, especially the sustained mocking by some posters, and 'ha ha' twisting of my dilemma into a funny joke conversation... well that hurt. That really hurt. And I've been seriously hurt in the past (raped, beaten to broken bones), so am no hand-wringing wallflower. It was triggering.

I think that behaviour is wrong, and I think it is going to hurt a lot more people other than me. Perhaps it is already hurting people who have severe issues of their own, and feel they cannot post because they will be laughed at.

Anyway, I'm concerned about it, deeply concerned, and still a bit disturbed myself (although much emotionally cooler).

I'm also not sure how this fits into "Relationships", so apologies if it seems weird here, but I seem to be inviting more suspicion by posting in AIBU, so here it is, and I'm grateful to anyone willing to listen.

OP please read the print above your thread title, MNHQ clearly states poster's on the board may or may not be qualified to give information. MNHQ cannot be held responsible for any advice given on this site..

no one cannot have duty of care to self.duty if care is the relationship between self and external other.
establishing the external other has been negligent towards you
individuals need to self regulate,know own triggers

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Causation_(law)

Yes,scottishmummy, the people doing the mocking may well be sued as well.

The people who choose to end their lives, I am not sure that all have them already have existing suicidal tendancies.

I am also presuming that a case, like the hypothetical case I described,has not happened yet?

If there were to be such a case,and if the internet forum concerned were deemed not to have any responsibility whatsoever, then we as posters need to be extra careful

Because it could be deemed, that the persons doing the mocking etc were wholly responsible for whatever occured.

I think we need a WTF? emoticon.

I am vair confused.

Sorry LBE,but i do like liver.

Dear God are the Frothers still frothing? [hgrin]

Who needs tv when you've got entertainment like this on tap. And SGB, can I just say that it would be an honour to be called a mundane by you. Anyone else visualising SGB as some sort of female Batman swooping through the sky putting the world to rights?

If you want salad, got to a sodding salad bar.

Couldn't tell you Stratt. I'm busy doing Other Very Important Things. So simply cannot lurk on MN at the moment.

SGB called me a mundane once. I wore it like a medal. Good times.

Or a Harvester. I hear they have salad bars with unlimited returns.
The Promised Land.

If one of my kids has a sippy cup of milk and the other has a tonsil-soothing warm drink, then if I opened the I couldn't possibly be accused of drinking alone could I?

You're never alone with the voices in your head, ginhag.

you're paraphrasing what I've already said,likely the individuals would be pursued

in theory web operators could be pursued under existing laws,but this is v v rare.but it's why mnhq delete potentially scurrilous rumours,gossip eg gf case

if the web owners comply with police and investigation unlikely to face sanction

She's never called me a Mundane :(

So someone can sue MN 'cos they were punned to death?

Hahahaha @ being sued for calling someone a Frother. Or Po Bashed. Can you imagine the DM headlines. [hgrin]

I think its unlikely that someone will kill themselves over something posted on mumsnet. The site isn't awash with rape jokes and never will be, this isn't encyclopedia dramatica.

But calling someone Po or saying 'I don't believe you' is very very different legally to the type of goading that has gone on in the cyber bullying cases.
That's because it is entirely different, obvs.

Am I a frother?
who is a frother?

scottushmummy,thank you for your explanations.

LadyEvilBeagle and ScarahStratton,there is worse going on on here sometimes,than what you describe.
And unfortunately,there are some posters on MN and in rl who have a range of vulnerabilities.

I think I have said enough on this particular subject for now.

Must be awfully hard to see clearly when you're covered in froth. Bit like one of those spitty insect things that hang around on plant stalks.

If you cared, you'd have read it and you'd know by now. So I don't believe your intentions are genuine. And I'm done unless any other genuine points/posts come up.

Oh come on OP, you have even just skim read some of these thread. they are 2 really long thread.

Have you read every post in detail?

Will someone tell me what a mundane is please (one pm please, not a gazillion, ta ever so).

Also, WalterMitty, it is possible to post from two names at the same time.

You can have one persona (email, name, login etc) on your phone, and another completely different one on your computer, with yet another one on your ipad using floating ip addresses for each.

Hence mumsnet being unable to prove that people are not trolls, or not sockpuppets. We all just have to wait for them to slip up, which they inevitably do.

Ah I see :( this is why I'm no detective!

I think if you have to ask, Maryz, you may be one . I know I must be.

Is it really possible? So people on this very actual thread could have been doing it? Just fancy.

@EdsRedeemingQualities

Helen, could I just ask - as you seem to be sort of about - if you could clarify for people that I'm not some other persona of whoever this 'Lesley' bird was/is?

I'd really appreciate it - as someone said, like the way you clarified that Halfway isn't anything sinister.

I'm still feeling rattled that anyone thought I was a known troll.

Thanks. (obv if you need to go and verify/look up stuff then I understand, that takes time etc) (but I've always used the same email since 2007)(and I wouldn't know how to work a smartphone if I was stuck in a prison cell with one for 20 years)

Actually, I'm afraid I'm very much not about (day off, allegedly ) but we will do our best to address some of the concerns on this thread tomorrow.

In the meantime, we're very happy to confirm that EdsRedeemingQualities is not, and never has been, the same poster as lesley33.

Apparently so, Sue.

I wouldn't know - though if I had a 3G phone I could experiment a bit [hopeful]