Concerned about attempted silencing/derailing of issues (via hunting/mocking)

[Halfway]

I posted a thread in AIBU yesterday (perhaps foolishly), which thankfully did turn out to be very helpful, but also turned out to be extremely hurtful. And while overall, I gained a great deal of benefit/clarity/insight from it, I also spent a great deal of the day in tears and/or raging, and feeling generally crap about myself.

The post was about a friend, which led a lot of people to think I musn't be that emotionally invested, because it wasn't about me.

However, I was emotionally invested because I felt like I was watching my friend potentially walk into a very, very dangerous situation (which could end up in her hurt or even dead), and worse, I had the realisation that I could not stop her, but could only try to, and may very well fail.

In the context of that worry, these are the specific things I am complaining about:

a) sustained piss-taking/mocking (which not only humiliate/hurt me, but distracted and derailed the thread, with others jumping on board)

b) failure/refusal to stop the piss-taking/mocking when asked nicely to, and despite my making it clear that I was finding it painful

LET ME MAKE IT VERY CLEAR - I have nothing against genuine concerns, disagreements, and even disbelief of my thread, or specifics in my posts if these things are stated outright (not passive-aggressively buried in in-jokes), and if the posters simply make their position clear and report to MNHQ.

There is a valid need for this kind of watchdog activity, and I am in no way trying to stop that.

But the mocking, especially the sustained mocking by some posters, and 'ha ha' twisting of my dilemma into a funny joke conversation... well that hurt. That really hurt. And I've been seriously hurt in the past (raped, beaten to broken bones), so am no hand-wringing wallflower. It was triggering.

I think that behaviour is wrong, and I think it is going to hurt a lot more people other than me. Perhaps it is already hurting people who have severe issues of their own, and feel they cannot post because they will be laughed at.

Anyway, I'm concerned about it, deeply concerned, and still a bit disturbed myself (although much emotionally cooler).

I'm also not sure how this fits into "Relationships", so apologies if it seems weird here, but I seem to be inviting more suspicion by posting in AIBU, so here it is, and I'm grateful to anyone willing to listen.

I agree Bof, some people are being downright rude to her.
I hope this gets deleted soon.
It reminds me of rude customers who talk to the staff like shit.

Ooh yes Amillionyears - can I thank you for your earlier post as well, just seen it. Thankyou x

Will have a look at Donoghue v Stepvenson
Would you care to post a link please?

Mind you a case from 1932 may not be relevant now in this technical day and age,but some law from way back still stands I presume?

IamtheZombie Wed 31-Oct-12 12:47:07

" zillyzilly Tue 30-Oct-12 23:24:02

Well, yes, quite; into the dustbin is presumably the intention. "

Zombie would like clarification as to what this meant please. #

---

Zombie would still like clarification on this please.

mn is of course unregulated,there's no professional body of web forums,no code of conduct,no set agreements of conduct,no regulatory body to sanction
an individual can use existing laws to pursue mn for content as Gina ford alluded to
but no mn is not regulated and has no duty of care. it does have to abide by uk law,fir example media law and libel

LadyEvilBeagle, I said it nicely and I think I have a point, as does another poster.

Thank you scottishmummy,you may be right.
Like you say they have to abide by certain uk laws.
And they can be sued,which can keep organisations on their toes.

Perhaps they will respond as regards any legal duty of care that they have.
Or perhaps that is wrapped up in the media law and libel laws.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Donoghue_v_Stevenson

I'll find it myself!

Interesting case, but not sure what it has to do with this?
I am not of a legal persuasion, so you may need to explain it to me please scottishmummy.

I am right mn is an unregulated forum
individual does have potential redress through existing uk laws
mn has no duty of care to users.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Duty_of_care_in_English_law

So you are saying, although technically they dont
a person could sue them anyway through existing uk laws.

talk about negligence,mn duty of care,naturally thought of delict. tort in England
The case of Donoghue v Stevenson [1932] has implications for Tort,it established negligence and conditions of liability for duty of care
and I know paisley well,slug in ginger bottle always make me smile

For fucks sake, now you want to sue them for duty of care??
How utterly ridiculous.

no technically about it.mn is a unregulated forum that's a fact

Look, pointing out to a screaming, attention -seeking buckethead that stepping away from the computer forever for a while is a good idea may be pereceived as bullying by assorted softies and stickybeaks, but it definitely isn't illegal^.

THe trouble is with serious whiners is that their behaviour is actually an attempt at bullying and silencing: this was a common characteristic of the heavy-duty trolls in the past (start upsetting thread, cock up story more than once due to being a fuckwit and poor liar, scream and stamp and shit when challenged and start thread after thread after thread about boohoo, waa, everyone's awful, more censorship needed, I'M SO SPESHUL THE WHOLE INTERWEB'S ABOUT MEEEEEE').

Back in my early computering days, 'BWAA I'll have the LAW on you' was something that often occured from the more unintentionally hilarious denizens of some sites. Usually someone who was an actual lawyer would be able to point out that if you act like a ringpiece and someone points this out, it's not slander because it's true...

No LadyEvilBeagle, I dont.

But I do think MNHQ need to be a lot lot quicker on occasions.
Else they could get themselves into trouble one day in the future,from someone.

OK,worst case scenario.
A person takes their own life because of repeated mocking etc that MNHQ let stand for hours and hours.
Their family decides to sue.

SGB, I am loving your posts on this thread.

They are the voice of sanity in a mad, mad world .

SolidGold

If everyone felt the same way you did. It would be ok for me to start joking about anyone posting in pain. Infertility? Rape? Domestic violence? Why don't I just start go laughing on those threads because I can, and nobody has the right to stop me?

I wouldn't do those things ever, because I'm not an evil person.

People laughed about my friend being in a potentially fatal situation. I think thats disgusting, pure and simple... and I'm not going to let people like that chase me off Mumsnet, because they are the ones who need a serious reality check.

Its now you stamping your foot and having a tantrum because you don't like what you're reading here.

You have a duty of care to yourself, MN is not compulsory, no one forces you to read it.

bad example.you'd have to establish causation,and that mn was responsible
more likely the individual poster be pursued than mn.if content was deemed inflammatory or abusive
if person were suicidal balance of mind already disturbed, how do you prove it was mn other than preexisting stressors, mh condition that caused the suicide

[hshock]
This is bizarre. How come half the thread's decided to have a go at MNHQ as well? What's with all the telling them off like we're suddenly on the Board Of Internet Inspectors?

FYI, MN's legal responsibilities wrt post content are the same as posters'. They have no duty to referee arguments between members. MNHQ are pretty good, really; most forums don't even bother.

Ginhag, have you left this thread?

Just thought I'd ask [hwink]

All those rape victims and people suffering infertility have that same duty of care to themselves.

So why would it be wrong for me to go and laugh at them on their threads?

After all, they could always go somewhere else, right?

If you don't see how thats a disgusting way to think, then you are beyond getting through to.

I have never seen anyone take the piss out of a rape victim on MN ever. So i would stop spouting bollocks like that if I were you.

Blimey,this is still going.

I have liver with fava beans and a nice Chianti tonight.

DPs going to love it.

Mind you,he usually prefers his liver pickled with onions and cabbage and mash.