Concerned about attempted silencing/derailing of issues (via hunting/mocking)

[Halfway]

I posted a thread in AIBU yesterday (perhaps foolishly), which thankfully did turn out to be very helpful, but also turned out to be extremely hurtful. And while overall, I gained a great deal of benefit/clarity/insight from it, I also spent a great deal of the day in tears and/or raging, and feeling generally crap about myself.

The post was about a friend, which led a lot of people to think I musn't be that emotionally invested, because it wasn't about me.

However, I was emotionally invested because I felt like I was watching my friend potentially walk into a very, very dangerous situation (which could end up in her hurt or even dead), and worse, I had the realisation that I could not stop her, but could only try to, and may very well fail.

In the context of that worry, these are the specific things I am complaining about:

a) sustained piss-taking/mocking (which not only humiliate/hurt me, but distracted and derailed the thread, with others jumping on board)

b) failure/refusal to stop the piss-taking/mocking when asked nicely to, and despite my making it clear that I was finding it painful

LET ME MAKE IT VERY CLEAR - I have nothing against genuine concerns, disagreements, and even disbelief of my thread, or specifics in my posts if these things are stated outright (not passive-aggressively buried in in-jokes), and if the posters simply make their position clear and report to MNHQ.

There is a valid need for this kind of watchdog activity, and I am in no way trying to stop that.

But the mocking, especially the sustained mocking by some posters, and 'ha ha' twisting of my dilemma into a funny joke conversation... well that hurt. That really hurt. And I've been seriously hurt in the past (raped, beaten to broken bones), so am no hand-wringing wallflower. It was triggering.

I think that behaviour is wrong, and I think it is going to hurt a lot more people other than me. Perhaps it is already hurting people who have severe issues of their own, and feel they cannot post because they will be laughed at.

Anyway, I'm concerned about it, deeply concerned, and still a bit disturbed myself (although much emotionally cooler).

I'm also not sure how this fits into "Relationships", so apologies if it seems weird here, but I seem to be inviting more suspicion by posting in AIBU, so here it is, and I'm grateful to anyone willing to listen.

< inconsolable >

"Has anyone ever known MNHQ to lock a thread but not delete it?"

I think it's a new thing. MNHQ did that webchat a few weeks back, and asked about all sorts of stuff, and they've changed some things as a result. I imagine we might see more of it in the future?

Thought you would be, Sue

In fact, reading back quickly, are you sure some of you are saying things you would normally say? [hconfused]

Eh, MadBus?

Yes, me too. There's nothing else in particular that I'm brave enough to pick a fight about. Just generally .

"Something that's not said often enough is that, while bullying is not nice, some people not only bring it on themselves but seek it out, because being a howling, ullulating, bucketheaded martyr is one of the ways they get their jollies."

Yes, that is chilling.

Especially as something that is being promulgated on a parenting site.

Well, quite. It may look like literally no fucks are given but inside I'm dying.

But perhaps you were joking. The irony.

Well said EdsRedeemingQualities.

So it is the first one to be locked but not deleted?

Thankyou Auf...

Sue you've lost me dear. I don't know if I'm coming or going.

Yes, I also applaud your long post above, EdsRedeemer.

Amillionyears, they lock a thread so they can eat the people in it. It's like the basement room in The Road.

Aha, I have just remembered.

It was Olivia's birthday yesterday. That's where mnhq are, they were out last night and are today nursing hangovers [hgrin].

Shortly they will be back in foul moods and will delete everything [mwah-ha-ha]

I think it would be good if all the locked threads could be hung up in a Bullying and Troll Hunting Museum.

Yeah, cos bullying is really tasteful.

Coooeeee hello lesley, dulling, lovely to have you back [whine]

Great post at 10:55, Ed.

Aufaniae, you're over-involved.

Coooeeee hello lesley, dulling, lovely to have you back [whine]

So is trolling, posting whilst banned, and sock puppeting. Yet they all go on here, every single day.

I'll have a teatowel, Were.

zilly, did you mean more like a gibbet? As a Terrible Warning?

So zilly, where did you pop up from?

Garlic, why do you say Aufaniae is over-involved?

why does it bother you?