Concerned about attempted silencing/derailing of issues (via hunting/mocking)

[Halfway]

I posted a thread in AIBU yesterday (perhaps foolishly), which thankfully did turn out to be very helpful, but also turned out to be extremely hurtful. And while overall, I gained a great deal of benefit/clarity/insight from it, I also spent a great deal of the day in tears and/or raging, and feeling generally crap about myself.

The post was about a friend, which led a lot of people to think I musn't be that emotionally invested, because it wasn't about me.

However, I was emotionally invested because I felt like I was watching my friend potentially walk into a very, very dangerous situation (which could end up in her hurt or even dead), and worse, I had the realisation that I could not stop her, but could only try to, and may very well fail.

In the context of that worry, these are the specific things I am complaining about:

a) sustained piss-taking/mocking (which not only humiliate/hurt me, but distracted and derailed the thread, with others jumping on board)

b) failure/refusal to stop the piss-taking/mocking when asked nicely to, and despite my making it clear that I was finding it painful

LET ME MAKE IT VERY CLEAR - I have nothing against genuine concerns, disagreements, and even disbelief of my thread, or specifics in my posts if these things are stated outright (not passive-aggressively buried in in-jokes), and if the posters simply make their position clear and report to MNHQ.

There is a valid need for this kind of watchdog activity, and I am in no way trying to stop that.

But the mocking, especially the sustained mocking by some posters, and 'ha ha' twisting of my dilemma into a funny joke conversation... well that hurt. That really hurt. And I've been seriously hurt in the past (raped, beaten to broken bones), so am no hand-wringing wallflower. It was triggering.

I think that behaviour is wrong, and I think it is going to hurt a lot more people other than me. Perhaps it is already hurting people who have severe issues of their own, and feel they cannot post because they will be laughed at.

Anyway, I'm concerned about it, deeply concerned, and still a bit disturbed myself (although much emotionally cooler).

I'm also not sure how this fits into "Relationships", so apologies if it seems weird here, but I seem to be inviting more suspicion by posting in AIBU, so here it is, and I'm grateful to anyone willing to listen.

Anyone know any good puns?

What is a po?

To be fair to Halfway, she has made what appears to be a heartfelt apology to another poster who she badly,apparently unknowingly and unintentionally upset, at 23.40pm last night, and has not returned.

I know a lovely pome about Po. Tis the Battle of the Ilk and the Po, by Hullygully.

It was a dark and stormy night
The Ilk were taking flight
From the deadly spread
Of the dull walking dead
Otherwise known as The Po.
But then came the rallying cry
What? Are the Ilk to lay down and die?
Let us take up PARD
And go after them hard
It's them we must overthrow
With their humourless heavy tread
Like Dementors on every thread
They hate all the quiches
The friendship in niches
For joy is not something they know
They don't like the witty
To them it's not pretty
They whine about swearing
It's got far too wearing
They really will just have to go
So let us rise up
With language and smut
And ask them politely
With Pard spoken lightly
To fuck off very kindly, you know.

All credit to the poet, I just saved it for posterity.

Oh that is brill Were. We should save that.

I am now enlightened! Thankyou [hgrin]

It's superb Were, I really like it and have stolen it saved it for posterity.

So...........Po-hunting is another fun bloodsport, then? If you can't find enough trolls to hunt, just go after people you like to call po and drive them off Mumsnet?

You should try polo-crosse instead. No living creatures get tortured when you do that as a hobby, and it's quite thrilling. If you've got time on your hands you could try it.

No thanks zilly, I can already play polo thank you, and I played lacrosse at school. And hockey.

It's what makes me such a hot shot with my Po Basher, dulling.

That's ridiculous Zilly.
Is no one allowed to have a laugh on here any more.
It's why I come on MN, and I'm not a bully just because I exchange a couple of jokes with other posters.
And I certainly don't have the power to drive anyone off Mumsnet.

fret not, lovely

Are you Earnest, zilly?

LadyEB I think some posters are more sensitive to mockery than others and yes, in that situation it's possible to be 'driven off' - not that you can possibly have a sensitivity radar that tells you when such a poster is around.

But it sometimes pays to be gentle, especially if someone flags up that they feel attacked or hurt.

Also, to no one in particular - I hate the thing about 'Po' because it reminds me of being accused of having no sense of humour at various points in my life, by people who were taking the piss out of me. It is quite a horrid thing to be reminded of, for me.

Were, can you be more specific - are you saying that this is happening currently? Or that you have noticed it happening often?

garlicbaguette why on earth do you think I'm over involved?

Troll-hunting and bullying on mumsnet is something which really annoys me, has done for a long while. People being unkind to other people for their own entertainment gets my goat here, and in RL.

I don't talk about it particularly often, but seeing as it's being discussed I'm putting my thoughts on the subject out there.

I fail to see what's wrong with that.

Yet it's so irresistible to you lesley Ed.

I don't think it's a nc'er Were. I think it's a desktop/smartphone thing going on, iyswim.

Stratton I don't understand your post in any way.

Why are you calling me Lesley, and what is irresistible to me?