Onwards and upwards we go, still sniggering at the sausage seeing the roll Dating thread 26

[lubeybooby]

New one!

All dating related gumph here.

makes total sense :) i think lots of us feel the same.

dude i was seeing/ fucking last summer, got together with this girl straight after me, they have just had a baby. he was a shit, and in fact was still contacting me trying to get me to sleep with him ( which i didnt) at easter.
But still, its all baby pics and tihngs on how wonderful his ' fiance' is.
and a bit of me thinks, how the fuck was that fair? i had been married for 4 years before i had a child, and yet was a single parent by the time dd was 20 weeks old. I played the sensible, thought out card and it all went wrong, yet those that start off quickly seem to end up with it all.

bugger it.

fireworks sound good, im missing out this year as dd's dad is taking her. never mind.....

Well as I said things are going well with mr workaholic! He's being sweeter then ever since I told him that last time we were together I felt lonely and crap and I slept with other people! He seems like a new man!

I am enjoying being with him, but somehow I just don't think he's the right man for me! But we are both enjoying being together now so I feel comfortable with that!

I am thinking I should probably delete my Pof and Cupid profiles, what do you think? I'm not interested in online dating anyway really! But a part of me feels like I don't want to delete them for some reason!!

fate sounds like alot going on today, I hope it all goes well but I know how you feel some days these things just get to you.

Awww watch, they started off quickly but are not having it all though are they? Well he might be but his poor gf/financee isn't, he will be shagging someone else seeing as he couldn't get you to go for it. She will end up either a single parent or a downtrodden wreck or both with a bloke like that. You're way better off out of it.

Fate blimey loads going on! Good luck to your friend and awww at you and NL :o

its he of ' cum tribute' nastyness. but it still pisses me off. royally.

i know better out of it, goes withough saying,but still, does leave me thinking, where the fuck did i go so wrong.

never mind. as everyone keeps telling me, one day ( fucking ONE DAY) ill meet someone.

until then i think im going to become a nun.
or a hermit.
or possibly both.

okay time for another question. I've been asked by a friend who knows I'm OD to give advice on her male friends profile as he's not getting any responses from anyone. Apparently he's funny and sweet and attractive in real life, so he doesn't know where he's going wrong. His first paragraph (of 5) is:

"When people find out I come from a small tropical island in the middle of the Indian Ocean they inevitably ask: "What the are you doing in London?!". My answer: "Have you ever lived on a small island??". Sure it's warm and sunny all the time and you have sandy beaches, fishing and scuba diving etc., but it is small and how many days in a row can one lie on the beach roasting? As it turns out, three days is my limit, four at a stretch (granted I could spend a lot more time diving and fishing)."

Now when I look at that, being a bloke, it bores me.

What's your opinion?

watch what lubey said - you really think that girl is going to end up with it all with a guy like that? No chance.

kirsty I think if you go in to the mail settings on POF not only can you hide & unhide your profile you can limit who can contact you when not hidden (ie no married men, no men just looking for sex). Let me know if you're still having trouble and I'll see if I can help.

Fate hope all goes ok today with your friend. You know I nearly forgot my anniversary this year and it was the first one since we split. I couldn't figure out why XH was being so weird about not wanting to see me that day.

I'm feeling a bit shit today - had to go to the jobcentre to sign on for the first time ever and it's left me really emotional. Not because I'm ashamed or anything just because I think, how did I get to this point and what the hell is going to happen to change it. I have a degree and post-grad diploma, 8 years programming experience, 10 years admin experience, I have NEVER not worked in my life, I have applied for over 70 jobs in the last 5 months and can barely get an interview. I was thinking about the OW as I was leaving the job centre. This time last year XH was going on about his lovely new friend, poor thing left her husband cause he cheated, now single mum, 2 young kids, living on benefits, trying to get her life back on track and isn't it marvellous that he can help her. And now I'm the OW (except in the sense that I would never fuck some other woman's husband). It's just all really unfair.

bantam you don't have to tell him its boring, just tell him he needs to be way more concise. I got asked for my opinion of a guy's profile a couple of weeks ago (lovely guy who messaged me on OKC but who lived to far away). It was 5 or 6 paragraphs long with loads of detail. I just told him that no matter how interesting it was most people weren't actually going to read that far. Stick to the basics, one or two interesting or witty things and then leave room for people to ask more if you get talking to them.

Personally, I think blokes stretched out for hours sunbathing looks ( as if they are a bit) naff.
Seeing them diving, swimming, walking for miles and beach ball sport, is much more attractive and appropriate for a bloke with a fit and healthy mind and body. When eventually needing a break, sitting reading the newspaper, financial or sports pages, of course , not hiding behind Page 3. !!

Yoga :(

I know. You do wonder what the hell happened and why it all got pulled out from under you.
Its such as massive fall from where you once were. I still hate it.
And then when you meet new people and eventually you have to say you are a single parent and you can just read their faces as their opion of you instantally changes. And you want to tell them ' no, i was like you' but that doesnt seem to matter.

You will be ok. Thats the best advice, you will muddle your way through and be ok.

yoga sorry to hear your having a crap time of it! All you can do is keep trying but I would feel terrible too in that situation I had to claim income support got a little while and I had hardly any money! But what felt worse was the fact that I wasn't even working!! sending hugs

Watch and Yoga - sorry you are both feeling a bit low today. All you can do is be kind to yourselves and wait for it to pass. Watch, you are definitely doing the right thing although it doesn't sound at all easy. I don't know all the background here but it sounds like quite a story. You're definitely worth so much more than being someone's rebound. It WILL happen, and soon . . . as will a break for you career-wise Yoga. Things can change so much in the course of a few months/weeks/days, it's just holding on til we get to that stage.

Nothing much from me today - it's my late mums birthday, so feeling a bit tender - we certainly didn?t have the best of relationships, but sometimes you just want mashed potato and your mum.

Nothing from Voldie, which is good, because I have spent a bit of time musing and have concluded that he is an emotionally stunted arse and I don?t really want to continue an unbalanced friendship with him - in retrospect I did the vast majority of the friending - and if I don?t really want to be friends with him at the moment, why would I continue to be in love with him? oh clarity!

Going to meet Mr haha for drinks tonight at half five, but I forgot this when I left for work this morning, so drove to the station, so two drinks absolute max. I'm looking forwards to it on the basis that I get to walk past two nice art shops on my way to the pub, so I can buy supplies for notebook v2.0, which might end up being an illustrated version of my magpie short story. Think it is highly unlikely I will fancy him at all, although he seems amusing, I think he is potentially too short, old and bald to pique my interest - I think he would treat my beautifully, but that isnt enough by any stretch of the imagination. I'm not desperate enough to rebound on the basis of 'decent-bloke' alone.

yoga & fate all is well and all is well and all manner of things will be well. Sorry it's the low bit of the roller-coaster today.

sponge report back! I'm more excited about your date than mine! :)

Cheers western.... 4 years holding on and counting.....

Yoga, my new job is in retail. Its not great ive never done retail but was loosing my other job so just went for anything rather than signing on. The majority of the 320 new employees have degrees. Or phds. Lots are teachers who cant find teaching work. One has a first law degree!! Sign of the times. There are no jobs, for anyone. Its

woo of the day!

5 - Five
Hsü / Calculated Waiting

Deep Waters in the Heavens:Thunderclouds approaching from the West, but no rain yet. The Superior Person nourishes himself and remains of good cheer to condition himself for the moment of truth. Great Success if you sincerely keep to your course. You may cross to the far shore.

SITUATION ANALYSIS:

You must now endure this Dangling -- either a carrot before your nose, or a sword above your head. This strange mix of apprehension and anticipation is a Purgatory. There is nothing more you can do to affect the outcome. You must now submit to the Fates.

Snape. You're sounding amazingly positive and as if the scales have fallen from your eyes and you're now seeing him in his true and selfish colours. Hope the date goes well and is a laugh if nothing else.

Anniversaries are always difficult - I dread my dad's, always feel low and wistful although it's twenty years next time round. Raise a glass to her tonight? ((hugs))

Sorry snape. Bad day all round.
I dont think that needing your mum thing ever goes away . Hope today provides distraction and nice thibgs to get you through it.
( and well done on the clarity, takes a lot of work)

Watch I would work in retail, trust me I'm not sitting here being picky and thinking I'm too good for this or that. But all the retail jobs I've looked at want people who can work evenings/weekends/flexible shifts etc which I just can't do. I'm sure all will be well eventually but I've given myself one more month before I seriously consider whether I have to sell my house which will just prompt another round of I told you sos its all that bloody lawyers fault from stupid wanker cheating ex

snape yay for clarity, enjoy tonight even if he is old, short & bald LOL!

Oh. I didnt mean it that way, just in a ' everyone is just doing anything' type way

Really its awful that is the case but seems to be how it is pretty much everywhere

slightly concerned that clarity has raced towarsd me and there will be a period of mad-swithering at some later point - but hey ho.

havent heard from mr haha today actually - assuming we're still on and I will go to my art shops and then have a drink on my own if he doesnt show.

remembers no teeth, disappearing catweazle, lion-guy and every other sodding numpty-baws i've made an effort to date

No, I know you didn't mean it like that, I just don't know what to do. The only option I can see is taking something full time which would mean after school childcare 5 days a week & I really, really don't want to have to do that.

Would it be worth it so you dont lose the house? And then you can look for something part time while you are earning?

I know its horrible.... you cant win whatever you do

Bad day all round I think, just got lots of divorce paperwork through from my solicitor. It's quite depressing.

To top it off, my brother's best friend has viewed me on POF, noooooooo! This means my family will all find out I'm OD and they will disapprove (too soon after ex etc). Stupid POF has been more trouble than it's worth! I've messaged him to plead with him not to tell my brother but I don't hold much hope.

hello! Some of the comments on here have cheered me up. Im in the cant be bothered stage however there has been someone lingering in the background and this weekend having not seen any action for a while I did take the opp to use this to my advantage! Now feel really bad as I know its not going to go anywhere but it was fun at the time. Advice required ladies

Hey yoga something will come up keep plugging away

pixie wish my solicitor would send me something as still in limbo

Everyone else .. Chin up .. It could be worse you could still be with your ex