Onwards and upwards we go, still sniggering at the sausage seeing the roll Dating thread 26

[lubeybooby]

New one!

All dating related gumph here.

Bantam I was dumped from a great height once by text and it hurt very badly, although that was a relationship. So I am personally anti dumping by text unless the other person deserves it.

Regardless, I agree phone is not necessary as most of your communication is email/text. Imho this also matters, if you talked on the phone and then dumped by text that would be cowardly. I guess do whatever seems most natural to you with her. Email?

Was that all in one text? One caution, if you tell her via text and she is a prolific texter then you run the risk of having to answer back and forth questions by text or having to ignore her. Email might be the easier alternative. I know she could still text you but it is one step removed from the phone and you can leave a bigger gap if you decide to reply.

should have said talked on the phone every day, doh

Oh dear ... Mr Coffee was so keen earlier in the year. But it's over 24 hours since we met yesterday, and I've heard nothing. No texts, and no reply to my e-mail. That's not good, is it?

and by 'prolific texter' I mean bonkers highly strung.

She knows where you live

Oh! She does know where you live. Oh dear.

Bantam Bizaroville indeed!

Dog if you specifically mentioned attractiveness in your profile then I would say the jury is still out.

nomorepain what do you want to do? Do you want to dump him? Do you want to just see how things play out? If unsure you could just text back something noncommittal for now like 'sorry you've been feeling unwell' and leave it at that...?

Had about 7 or 8 useless messages on POF earlier that I deleted immediately (2 from men who had more photos of their pets than themselves). Anyway, one of them - a not particularly attractive specimen who says he's 49 but looks mid 50s - has written again to say 'dumped so soon? oh well, i was mainly looking for sex'! You just have to laugh, don't you?

Meanwhile the engineer sent back quite a nice chatty message so we'll see.

bunnyboiler alert.

look, i dumped the puppy by text, and that was after 5 months! BUT, most of our communication was via text, face to face he never did feelings or anything relationshippy. text was suitable, and less awful for him to be excited to see me, and then crushed. bant, you have only met her twice, text, or a call is fine. or even an email....

libby :( sorry. have had the same thing happen to me. its shit :(

I've sent a non committal text. Not expecting a reply.

For what it's worth Bantam I would probably text! Good luck!!

at God...no LC just made a bit of a silly error. I am trusting it is a one-off, and hopefully I'm right. I wasn't annoyed at the time, more disappointed, because I completely expect something to go wrong every time, and it seemed like it was, again. But we'll see, and for the moment I am

Moving its not me going to the theatre (I think that was SlightlyConfused apologies if I'm wrong with that though!), LC is just meeting me for drinks in London.

Bantam bloody hell I feel like I need a lie down after that text...is she always so over-excited? I second the suggestion of email not text though, i think a text just seems a bit brief...but sooner the better, any more texts like that would make me murderous!

Nomorepain I think tbh if you don't feel a spark after 3 dates its unlikely there will be one. I know you say this guy fears rejection but the longer you leave it the worse it will be. Plus he may be feeling similarly, ie that he likes you, but doesn't feel the spark and doesn't want to hurt you. It's one of those cruel to be kind situations...otherwise you'll end up like a friend of mine who was 'going out with' a guy for 3 months and they never even held hands or hugged let alone kissed, all because they were both too scared of the reaction to end it. Lifes too short. Given that nothing HAS happened, could you suggest just keeping in touch as friends? Or would that still feel awkward?

Libby maybe given the fact you weren't interested last time, maybe he's trying to play it cool by not responding immediately? Has he definitely been online to have seen your email?

Libby - there is an unspoken, unwritten rule, among men, that if we text within a day of a date, we come across as too keen and may be dumped. Two days is fine, three days is playing hard to get. Four days and we may as well not bother.

Yes, I know it's complete bollocks, but some men still listen to the rules. A day without a text could mean many things. If he doesn't text till day three, drop him.

Sponge, I'm so excited about your second date and will be eagerly awaiting your update tomorrow. Re Mr Coffee, I don't know if he's been online, but even if he hasn't he could have sent a text to say he had a good time (if he did!) or to suggest doing it again or something. I might still hear from him, but tbh the fact that I've heard nothing for over 24 hours has put me off him a bit.

Thanks Bantam, it's helpful to get a male view. I'll wait and see what happens ... but the longer I have to wait, the less keen I feel. Playing it cool definitely doesn't work with me.

Libby I'm just a bit excited about it myself Re MrCoffee, yes you're right he could/should have text or emailed you. But (playing devils advocate and trying to be positive) maybe in view of last time and him being more keen than you, he's waiting to hear from you first? And either hasn't seen the email yet, or has and is giving it a day or so to reply. I think give him til the end of tomorrow :)

sponge sorry I don't know why I thought you were going to the theatre

so will this be a second date then???

oh shitshitshitshit. What do you do when you think you're finding out the person you really quite liked, and have been on a date with, and there was chemistry and a connection with, is actually a nazi sympathiser?

Answers on a really quick postcard please

The nurse is a nazi?!

I don't know. I'm IMing to her and she seems to be making some supportive comments about the aryan race. It may be a really long winded joke, but it seems to have gone past it's sell by date, which was very short anyway.

you dump them superquick.

omg wtaf. Sorry Bantam. No, just no I would be horrified. Makes it worse that she's a nurse as she is meant to treat all folk with respect.

Really a nazi? how did this come up?

bantam the same you would do with a BNP or White power sympathiser, hardcore hooligan, I guess

moving yes my first second date in 4 years!!! the poor man, he has no idea of the weight of expectation he is carrying :)

bantam WTF?! You will have the whole context, and if it seems bad to you, then it probably is. Sorry :(

Sponge, you're totally right - earlier this year he was much more keen than me. That's partly why I e-mailed him this morning, as I thought it was only fair that I should make a bit of a move towards him. Looks like the tables might have turned and now I'm interested and he's not!

ok I'm trying to see if she can redeem herself. She wasn't actually hideously racist, just said some things that were close to the bone, followed by some more.

And this after the Safrican said she went to a hairdresser the other day and was worried because she was 'blick' and wouldn't know how to do white womens hair. At which point any spark of possible romance left the room.