Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Is this too creepy to tolerate? [WARNING: extreme subject matter]

447 replies

Halfway · 29/10/2012 08:39

I'm posting on behalf of my best friend (for real, she is sat beside me but is not familiar with Mumsnet).

She has recently begun dating a new guy (for a couple months), whom she has known for over ten years as a friend, albeit mostly long distance as he works and lives long periods abroad. He is also Chinese (only relevant because I am genuinely unsure as to whether there are any cultural differences that might make his confession less bizarre than it sounds to me).

He has confessed to her that his ultimate fantasy about intimacy involves eating someone (albeit only ever with their consent).

He says he has never actually eaten part of anyone, but fantasizes about finding someone who would consent to giving him small pieces of flesh (that would not overly harm the person), that he could cook and perhaps even share with them.

Now, she tells me all this in a very relaxed (almost flippant) way, and I can't help but sit here and inwardly think !!!!!!!!!!!!!!.

She tells me that in her opinion it is no worse than people who fantasize about whipping/strangling each other, and that although it is freaky, the important thing is that he has no wish to do anything without someone else's wholehearted participation.

So now I am uncertain as to whether I really am being a bit intolerant (and judgemental), or if there is something about this particular fantasy that is just too dangerous (and creepy) to tolerate.

Mumsnet jury opinions needed! Many thanks.

OP posts:
BadgersBottom · 29/10/2012 11:50

If you can't take a little light ribbing on a thread that is sooooooooooo outrageous as to be bordering on the unbelievable then A. you shouldn't have posted in AIBU and B. you should preface your title with "Only answers that suit me acceptable here"

EmpressOfTheSevenScreams · 29/10/2012 11:51

I've reported too.

You lot KNOW what to do if you think someone's trolling and it's not this.

Nancy66 · 29/10/2012 11:51

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

Bogeyface · 29/10/2012 11:52

It wasnt light ribbing Badger it was nasty and bullying and I am appalled that you cant see the difference.

Halfway · 29/10/2012 11:52

Its not "light ribbing" to troll-hunt. And its not "light ribbing" to carry on when I ask you nicely to stop because it is hurting me, and preventing me from actually helping myself and my friend.

Theres nothing light about it. Its just cruel, and hurtful, and makes me feel like a fucking helpless child again who isn't worth engaging with in any way other than to be laughed at, and hurt some more.

OP posts:
BadgersBottom · 29/10/2012 11:53

Bullying? You devalue the word.

Bogeyface · 29/10/2012 11:53

As Empress said, if you think that it isnt genuine then report it to MNHQ, but all of you that being nasty have shown youselves up as nasty and spiteful.

Your comments say far more about you than about the OP, troll or not.

NotQuintAtAllOhNo · 29/10/2012 11:53

You will find that Worra has lots of Spare Ribs....

AKissIsNotAContract · 29/10/2012 11:54

Since you were doubting my points on the spanner trial you can read about it here:
en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Operation_Spanner

WorraLiberty · 29/10/2012 11:54

Dear god I bet some of you believe you've won the Ugandan lottery, just because your Hotmail account says so?

Oh well I'll leave your thread then OP and good luck to your cough friend.

EdsRedeemingQualities · 29/10/2012 11:54

With respect, Halfway, you've poured your friend's situation out to us - there wasn't a lot of personal stuff about your life.

So don't feel too vulnerable/exposed if you can help it. I've seen far more sensitive threads get questioned. People are being silly because of the timing, which you might admit was a bit dubious.

I am sorry you feel so rubbish. Many of us have been there. I hope your friend finds her way out of her situation.

PrincessSymbian · 29/10/2012 11:56

Just reading the opening post made my skin crawl. My adviceto your friend would be:
Run For The Fucking Hills!

NotQuintAtAllOhNo · 29/10/2012 11:56

Look, you are coming to an internet forum asking if it is ok to eat people.

Is it?

Would you go to your local Waitrose, seek out the butchers counter and ask for a nice and lean piece of Homo Sapiens, and if they could give you any advice on suitable marinade? If this does not sound ok, it means it is possibly not a good idea to diy butcher somebody (diy butchery is never a good idea) for a meal.

Think about it.

Let Waitrose be your guide. If they sell it, you can eat it.

Strawhatpirate · 29/10/2012 11:57

I hope you and your friend are ok OP.

BloodRedAlienReflux · 29/10/2012 11:58

Shit, you mean i haven't won the Ugandan lottery?

Halfway · 29/10/2012 11:59

Eds I get why people can jump to that conclusion, I really do. I've been here long enough to see it happen to others (using many different names because I tend to out myself easily after a while giving too many details). But my history here has been nothing but genuine (MN can verify).

My anger comes from the fact that when I ask them to stop or take it elsewhere, they carry on, proving they feel nothing for me, my wishes, nor my pain. The risk of falling for a troll is greater than the risk of hurting another person in their mind, and so they do so at my expense.

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 29/10/2012 11:59

Yes Blood you have

Just send me your bank account details and the maiden name of your Mother's gerbil

Bogeyface · 29/10/2012 12:00

Worra its not about being gullible. It is about giving someone the benefit of the doubt until MNHQ can look into it. All you needed to do was report it if you thought it was a troll post, the guidelines on here are very clear.

Believe it or not, there ARE people out there that are into weird shit like this, and given the size of MN membership it isnt surprising that occasionally something like this will be posted.

I personally keep an open mind about whether someone is genuine and post assuming they are until MNHQ get involved.

All you did was show a less than attractive side of yourself with your comments.

WorraLiberty · 29/10/2012 12:01

This thread has suddenly become all about you OP

Is your friend (the one with the actual problem) still there?

Halfway · 29/10/2012 12:02

I'm not asking if its ok to eat people for gods sake.

I had a moment of doubt initially because I do have experience of activities that would be considered insane by large portions of the population (think scat, extreme bondage, etc).

I have a very vanilla relationship now, but my history is coloured to the point that no, I don't trust my own judgement when it comes to these things.

I came for a majority viewpoint, which I received and am grateful for, and for help formulating counterarguments against some of my friend's very convincing arguments.

She's gone now anyway, she saw I was getting too upset by the whole thing (despite my attempts not to), and its something I'll have to take up with her later.

OP posts:
EdsRedeemingQualities · 29/10/2012 12:02

I totally understand, Halfway. It seems such a little thing to us reading the thread (well - not little, but something we can ignore, because they're being stupid) but when it's your thread and you're being treated with contempt, it is really painful. I know.

MadBusLadyHauntsTheMetro · 29/10/2012 12:02

I have to say, I've seen more totally unjustified nastiness and upset result from troll hunting on this site than I've ever seen result from trolling.

The usual justification people give for troll-hunting is that trolls induce innocent people to give away sensitive personal information. But that's clearly bollocks here, because no-one has said (or is that likely to say) "Oh, my ex was into cannibalism too, it was so terrible, let me bear my soul to you..."

So really, what is the justification for not following the site rules this time? There isn't one. Other than people like taking the opportunity to be nasty where they think they're on the side of righteousness.

Halfway · 29/10/2012 12:03

Its all about me now because my emotion took over, despite my best efforts to stay calm.

So yes, I have now become selfishly self-interested instead of being able to stay available for my friend. I do not feel good about that at all. But I'm human, and I can't help but defend myself once I perceive an attack as too hurtful.

I feel laughed at. And that touches nerves I thought were long buried.

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 29/10/2012 12:05

Oh right well best get the thread moved to relationships then.

Strawhatpirate · 29/10/2012 12:05

Of course its not ok to eat people I don't think anybody is questioning that! But unfortunately there are a lot of warped people out there and a lot of terrible things have happened when a warped person finds someone they can manipulate.