geegee, I like your posts, a lot of common sense and practical advice, but you have also misread a few things. I really don't mind an older man, as far as I can fancy him (I've been in ltr with a much older man), it's just the one who is asking me out now via online thing I don't fancy (maybe so far) unfortunately. He is of that background by the way, speaks well, sensitive, dresses in the trad way, lives in the country - all absolutely great as he also is not too typical (not entitled, studies alternative stuff) and we hit it off in correspondence and on meeting (once), but I just don't feel attracted physically atm. So it's not impossible. I'm not sure why you can't see 'what i can offer', he can see it for one - as to younger men than him, after all is said and done everyone wants to be appreciated, so surely if I appreciate and fancy him, and he fancies me, the hypothetical guy of nearer to my age or older, then I already have something to offer. I do love the country by the way, and dogs, I'm just not a rider or shooter, many women of that group aren't actively either btw.
Aliitlestraner, sorry I'm just being honest, it's hte first time i aired in 'in public' and knew it wouldn't be popular, but I'm sure there are stranger things then this, and how many people would admit to it in rl but secretly fancy the posh types? I like the arty type e.g. art dealers or related but not so well paid. I would join charities, but how? all i can see is jobs in charity shops advertised or some hands-on medical stuff. Yes it's narrow but at least i know what i like. I went through a phase when i fancied just all sorts of men and it never worked as respect for them was lacking or the sensitivity on his part.
I'd love to join the Classics BA, raven, as I also like literature andthe arts, so I would have tha tto share. I do wish i was younger but at that stage I was working. I did go on a number of History of Art courses as it's to do with work, but the students were all women (it wasn't full time degree ones). Surely History of Art is very much a common interest with many of the type i describe.
world you don't mean to criticise - I'm not against criticism, but you do say mean things 'very weird and odd' and you know it, yet Liz seems to understand me perfectly well and even though she doesn't fancy posh men herself, she can calmy see my point of view as nothing weird! That's exact;y it, that the world struggles to understand why in te UK people just accept the attitude and logically, this attitude must be fed by others, otherwise why would this social group still feel so entitiiled?? As I explained, probably not too well, I don't like the whole 'posh' group of people, but the gentle possibly shy aty types who i see trough work sometimes, there aern't many and being the gentle type, yes they do get led by women and quickly snapped - nothing wrong for the women to do this, I would do the same if I was in their place. It's just that even these gentle guys ae not open minded or brave enough to try something diffreent and I'm amazed at hte level of having blinkers on in London , in the 21st cen! I'm not saying they should just date any woman they meet, but surely the individual merit counts, not what she is like 'on paper'. It seems like they are not even willing to look before they decide. I don't get it.
As I say I had ltrs with other types, so I'm hardly just sitting and fantasising. As to connection, my exH was well-off and educated, my age, not from toff-type family, but we lived in chelsea so of course I was always in close proximity (more so fulham though is typical), but even he found these groups inaccessible, he went to a public but not boarding school. Ex was good enough for me obviously as I married him, we had other problems. But after divorce I naturally fell into dating in the area as it was hurtful that while many posh guys found me attractive and showed it there was this barrier that serious relationships aer no-no, and it's hte same with women as to friendships btw, it's like you don't sound like then so you aer out. This has put me off, and i gone on dating other types of men, it's just here we go on internet - just came across exactly the same.
And whoever said I show them that I'm lower - how? I keep my admiration to myself and i don't beg, do I? In fact I try to be a little cocky almost if I come across an total arse. my pride suffered in silence a few times with the nice ones but i never chase men generally, couple of attempts is as far as i go, and usually even just one.
I fully can see that this thread is strange, but this is just an aspect of my mentality/life that's been under intense discussion, I do not engage in this on daily/weekly/monthly basis! As I say I'm vey analyticasl from an academic family, it's getting to the essence of things that gets me (when i can't).
As to wanting to improve my social standing, you can say this about anyone who marries 'up' including the said Kate Middleton, who was never popular with Will's crowd due to her family being common as is well known. But it's bever a whole story, almost never! Some people aer seriously drawn to the type whether part of it social climbing isn't that relevant, it's like some women want to marry a very successful or very brainy man, or a pop star, and also this would raise them socially but she is also respecting and admiring the man and if all are happy, that's what matters. If it was JUST social climbing you can go the route of female friendships or push yourself into a type of job where that scene is. You don't have to date or marry the type. If i was just after this, I'd grab the current older guy with both hands despite not fancying him 