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Original poster

WWYD? Found condom...

109 replies

NannyPlumBum · 04/09/2012 19:27

Me and kids have been away for a few days visiting my family. We decided to come back a bit early, didn't tell DH, was supposed to be a surprise.
Went into bedroom. Condom wrapper on side, used condom in bedroom bin.
Porn DVD sorting out.

Confronted him. He denies sex with someone else, swore on kids lives, says he was watching porn by himself, is embarrassed, doesn't wish to discuss it.

I don't know what to believe.

OP posts:
Purplehonesty · 04/09/2012 19:28

Why would he have used a condom by himself? That doesn't add up.....

BonkeyMollocks · 04/09/2012 19:29

He used a condom on his own?

Do men really do that?

What does your gut say?

LaurieFairyCake · 04/09/2012 19:29

I've never really believed the 'posh wank' stuff Hmm

I would think he had sex, can you smell a female anywhere on the sheets?

needsomeperspective · 04/09/2012 19:29

Why would he use a condom if alone? Sorry OP sounds highly suspicious if you ask me. I wouldn't be letting this one go in a hurry.

Houseofplain · 04/09/2012 19:29

With the porn. I'd be inclined to think posh wank tbh.

cocolepew · 04/09/2012 19:29

Sounds like he maybe wanked into the condom.

cocolepew · 04/09/2012 19:30

Blimey xposts

TellyBug · 04/09/2012 19:32

Yes, men do that. Posh wank. Give a guy a break.

Original poster
NannyPlumBum · 04/09/2012 19:32

Is that what's its called, a posh wank? Do people actually do that?

OP posts:
BonkeyMollocks · 04/09/2012 19:33

Is that all he said OP ?

He had a wank and doesn't want to discuss it because he is embarrassed?

How did he say it?

Do you, as a couple, use condoms, or are they new?

akaemmafrost · 04/09/2012 19:34

I would like to do a shout out to all the men on MN. Have YOU ever had a posh wank? I don't believe for a second that men do this.

Houseofplain · 04/09/2012 19:35

Yep it's what it's called, and yep they do.

It's supposedly cleaner....obv amd can make them last longer. So I'm told. Dh thinks its bonkers. But I know a lot who admit to doing it.

msrisotto · 04/09/2012 19:35

Posh wanks make no sense as the no. 1 reason that men don't like using them is because of reduced sensation.

PebblePots · 04/09/2012 19:35

My dh says yes men do that!

msrisotto · 04/09/2012 19:36

A lot? Really?

MolatovBomb · 04/09/2012 19:36

I just asked my DH who said a reasonable explanation might be that he was worried about getting semen/ejaculate on bedsheets, etc. He does think, though, that it's suspicious.

I mean, are you okay with him masturbating? Is it an issue between you both?

For me, as I'm comfortable with DH's one-handed action in my absence, I'd KNOW that something was up.

Original poster
NannyPlumBum · 04/09/2012 19:36

The condoms were bought after DS was born before I got the implant as contraception, kept them in the drawer after that with the naughty DVDs.
That's all he's said - He's embarrassed, obviously had a wank, promises he didn't do anything with anybody else, end of discussion.

OP posts:
BonkeyMollocks · 04/09/2012 19:36

Ok, I could understand a 'posh wank' if maybe you weren't alone in the house and wanted to keep it clean, but if you are alone then surely not! Confused

izzyizin · 04/09/2012 19:36

Tell him that if he's not willing to discuss it, you'll have no choice but to believe the worst and you'll be making an appointment with a solicitor with a view to divorcing him for adultery.

That said, if he'd had another woman in your bed he'd have to be remarkably stupid, or intent on causing you hurt, to have left the evidence in plain view.

Unless you returned home unexpectedly giving him only sufficient time to chuck the ow out the window or hide her in a wardrobe until he could smuggle her out of the house, it's probable that he indulged in a posh wank in order not to mess up the sheets which is not a big deal unless he happens to be addicted to porn to the extent that it's affecting your sex life.

Houseofplain · 04/09/2012 19:37

Posh wanks make no sense as the no. 1 reason that men don't like using them is because of reduced sensation.

Precisely and the whole idea...is its not a quick thing....they want to last amd erm savour the moment.

I speak to too many men I think :s

TellyBug · 04/09/2012 19:37

Maybe he didn't want to spunk all over the sheets.

Considerate.

PebblePots · 04/09/2012 19:38

Because they don't need to worry about cleaning up & can bask in the moment. & it actually feels nice cos it's lubricated. So there you go! Learn something new every day!

CupsofTeaAndHandfulsOfCake · 04/09/2012 19:38

My husband said yes men often have posh wanks.

BonkeyMollocks · 04/09/2012 19:39

What strikes me is that he says he is embarrassed.

Masturbation is a natural thing, are you both comfortable talking about it in your house?

Did you ask if he did anything with anyone else or did he bring it up?

I would be wondering why he wasn't talking to put my mind at rest!

Houseofplain · 04/09/2012 19:41

Maybe he's a bit embarrassed at explaining the condom and why he used it. Op has never heard of a posh wank before. So maybe he is embarrassed about explaining it.

He should man up and do so though.