Should I consider quitting my job to become a trophy wife?

[peonylover]

i am having a xmas wedding... and my fiancee just dropped a bombshell. he wants me to give up my job and be a companion to his parents. In return, I will have unlimited access to a "generous monthly allowance"

Some background on me - I work in the advertising industry, but my real passion is finishing my novel, which I am trying to do for the past 6 years. So, in an ideal world, i would be jumping up and down in joy on hearing this proposal.. but I am not. Not loudly, anyway... I just am not very comfortable about this whole proposal....

Fiancee has aged (but mobile) parents who live with him (in his house, which he bought after years of working as a banker) and he wants me to stay at home and make sure they are not lonely. He is very frank about this. I am also sure he has said this because I have been lamenting forever about quitting my job and becoming a full time writer. A Win-win situation, in his own words.

If you have access to a nice income every month WITHOUT WORKING FOR IT, will you take it and give up your currently satisfying job to become a trophy wife?

no no he doesn't want me to take care of them physically, his parents are pretty independant and very active senior citizens. they live downstairs while my fiance and i will live upstairs. my mother in law is half-blind, so the only physical thing is I have to cook dinner for them on weekdays... in his words, i will have my space and a secure lifestyle to write full time and his parents will have someone, their daughter in law, to keep them company.

my fiance is very affectionate towards his parents... but I am not sure how this will all work out.

Um, you might want to sort out your spelling, tenses and use of ellipses before you seriously think about becoming a writer. Maybe run your work in progress by an honest friend (preferably one with publishing experience) for feedback before you take this step?

Seriously.... NEVER and I mean NEVER make yourself financially dependent on a man. Don't care if they are the nicest person in the world, the minute they think you're their property, it all goes downhill from there.

God, rather you than me. I can't imagine anything worse then looking after the in laws never mind sharing a house with them shudders

he is not forcing me, he never said he won't marry me if i don;t quit my job.

he just proposed this idea because he does not want to forever hunt for a carer for his parents. he is willing to sign a prenup if i agree to this (so that i am financially protected)

God hellsbells you beat me to it. Peony, your story telling would also need to improve. How many cliches have you packed into your OP.

No way would I ever give up my means of gainful employment... by all means make your living as a writer but I wouldn't actually give up my day job until the writing job was capable of supporting me financially.

50% of all marriages end in divorce (approximately). Whilst my husband and I are very happy I'm not so naive to think that I'm completely immune, and I would never leave myself exposed by having no means of employment.

Don't do it.

Also I agree with the others, cooking the occasional meals will turn in to cooking all meals, then it'll just be a bit of shopping. Then a bit of cleaning. Then you'll be getting them dressed every morning. And so on.

Blimey he's just one big streak of romance isn't he? You actually didn't have to say he was in banking, it's clear that he is very money-oriented and treats everything as a business deal. So the parents will be in his (your) home anyway?...and you're happy with that?

but i am getting the same amount i earn now without working for it. is it insane to even consider this... if it is you, will you not even be tempted for a minute? I am tempted...

already his prenup has conditions (ie you agree to give up work and care for his parents)

Oh no, run a mile!

I would never ever be tempted.... even taking maternity leave and being on SMP terrified the shit out of me.

no way.. caring for/making company to elderly in-laws is not being a "trophy wife" or a full time writer..... i'd run a mile.

i don;t write in english, it's not my mother tongue :).

I know a lot of writers who do their best work whilst Cash in the Attic is on in the background, with the washing machine and the microwave going and making endless LOUD conversation about that woman next door. Just not in real life.

Bonkers idea. He clearly has enough money to employ a full time cared for them. So tell him to do that, end of.

So they don't need to be taken care of physically but you've been asked to be their 'companion' so he doesn't need to hunt for a carer?

If you want to be your IL's companion, then it sounds perfect. Don't his parents have a social life of their own if all they need is company?

Gosh, that is so not being a trophy wife.
A trophy wife needs to look perfect and beautiful all the time and be there with her husband whenever required.

Why would his parents be lonely if there are two of them? do they not have their own social lives? Do either of you have kids and if so where do they fit in?

So the plot if the novel is - hard working city type falls in love with a worldly generous banker, who decides he will pay her to become a sahm to his parents. Then what happens?

If this is actually your life, I think you have a serious case of tunnel vision.
Mil is half blond, so needs help. The parents are aging so will need more than just company. Why are they not company for each other? If this is such a good idea why are you asking?
If this is a plot for a book, I hope it gets better tbh. A bit of suspense would help?

Half blond, Dru? I'm half blond myself at the moment (in between hairdressers appointments) but I wouldn't say I need help much.

Why would you think it acceptable for your husband to give you an allowance? You're not a teenager! well, you may be, as I hope this is a wind up

DH and I share his salary - he doesn't give me an allowance for staying at home! Whatever we have is OURS not his to bestow upon me as to his whims/some spurious contract.

By all means stay at home, but don't have him pay you for it - you're equal members of a partnership, not his employee!

You're being sold a real line here. He's moving you in as housekeeper and thinks he can buy you off with cash. Who in their right mind wants to live with their in-laws when they are newly-weds? And why is a grown up single man still living with his parents in the first place? There is something not right about this.

I like the idea of being half blond.

please exchange trophy wife, for housekeeper....that'll be a tad nearer the mark!