Honey traps leading to kinky fuckery and other dating adventures (No 21)

[KirstyWirsty]

I want to know what Nicholas's tip was ... and the last thread was full!

'into you' gets my goat as well. Well, I've had a corker tonight mumsnetters. Deciding to be a bit more proactive I messaged a few people. Also in light of the theory of getting a few off the runway I thought it would be good.
Anyway one man writes back 'hi' and asked how I was to which i said I was very well, busy weekend. Then I got

Ok hunny! I'm not on here to have arguments or upset anyone. But your 1 or 2 word replies arnt good. I hope you change for your sake.

It's getting worse!

Sponge, thanks! I was crossing my fingers that your date with the scaffolder would go well. As for Match tonight ... nothing. Absolutely nothing. There was a man I was messaging before my computer broke, but strangely all the messages have been deleted - I can only assume this is what they do when someone leaves the site. I can't find anyone I even want to send a message to tonight. Am I just incredibly fussy? I don't know.

scatty I often wonder who these kind of blokes are in real life.....I mean: that policeman? That bloke digging a hole in the road? The man cycling down the street? Which one of them could be......Huffy Illiterate Man?

Thank God I don't mind "into you" myself. I think it's a bit of a hippy thing, and I'm a bit of a hippy. We'll have to get together and see if we resonate .

Apologies for the burbling- I've just been bottling home made creme de cassis. And sampling. Am now spangled. Must....go....to...bed......

Was thinking re the terminology that maybe everything/everyone resorts to the pat phrases because they are all going round in circles ie "into you" is used to him by someone so he uses it on you?
Sounds like a good plan not to put all eggs in one basket.
Does anyone else get American Evangelists or is it just me? I haven't had a cock shot ever

I love 'Huffy Illiterate Man' we need to include that in next thread title! Would apply to about 90% of POF.

Struwel I'll swap you the evangelists for the dodgy ones who message me. I have seen more pictures of cocks this year alone than I have actual cocks in my entire life

Ok, slightly awkward situation - college friend has messaged me on FB to say how beautiful my new profile picture is. My instant reaction is . I feel I have to reply, is just saying thank you acceptable? It's lovely of him to say it, but I don't want to encourage him iyswim...

I recommend something like 'Thank you for your kind words' I think it sounds ever so slightly dismissive and condescending

but any response invites a reply, if you really dont want to encourage him just ignore him

I'd get it all the time if I put up good profile pics 'you have such an amazing body, are you a dancer or a gymnast' blah blah blah...do they really think that a bit of flattery will get them a shag

I've gone for a polite 'thanks' - I've known him for over 20 years so cant ignore completely, but hoping a 1 word reply won't spark off any further conversation...

Snape
Just been reading this thread out of interest . Your situation with PM, (as far as I can work it out without reading back through previous threads), sounds like mine.

Sorry, this is long....

I met MrF when we worked at the same place and became very good friends. Three years later I had worked out that I wanted to marry him. But we were just friends (who spent all our time together) and it seemed to be a very difficult thing to change that to something else. It took me till another 3 years to actually tell him and there was a serious lot of angst leading up to it. I dragged him out for a walk and confessed all. He agreed, a bit reluctantly I felt (!), to give it a go and precisely nothing happened for 6 months. I was devastated and fell out with him for a time as a result, met someone else and moved 200 miles away to live with them.

Unbeknownst to me, at my going away party, MrF was at the other side of the room, nearly in tears, saying to our mutual friends that he'd made the biggest mistake of his life. I never found this out until years later.

A couple of years later, I was unhappy in my relationship. Apparently MrF knew I wasn't happy and used to have fantasies about coming down to "rescue" me and taking me back home! I went home for a weekend and one of my other friends confessed that Mr F had said that in 5 years time he saw himself married to me with children.

Within 6 months I had moved back home, bought a house and still.....nothing had happened with MrF. I couldn't understand why. So I marched round to his house one evening (he says now that he knew just by the knock on the door what I had come to say!) and told him what I had heard. This time, he agreed to give it a go but it was still a really wierd thing to go from being friends to being boyfriend and girlfriend. Well, it was for about a week....6 weeks later we had moved in together, 6 weeks after that we were engaged. We have now been married for 8 years and have 2 kids.

His excuse for all the dithering? He says he doesn't even know why, looking back. When I confronted him the second time, he said that he was convinced that he was seriously under-endowed (he is not!) and didn't think he was "good enough" for me. Go figure. I take the piss out of him at least once a week for the length of time it took for us to get together.

Anyway, hope this gives you hope that it may work out in the end!

Wow this thread moves fast! Lots of action (or at least talking/thinking about action) in the kinky fuckery department apparently.

Just came on to update that I met a POF date today who was a lovely bloke, tall well built, articulate, looked exactly like his photos, was easy-going (some might think that flip flops on a first date or picking up chicken and eating it with his hands was too casual, but that suits me fine!) and laid-back to the point we ended up lounging on a picnic blanket after dinner!

Anyway, whatever happens now, I just thought that I would share that little gem of information with you all - there actually are normal nice blokes on POF (unless he is the only one, in which case, hands off, I'm having him!)

he sounds super Doingit :)

Hello all

Bit of a lurker here

Just thought it would be nice to share my date (2nd) that went exceedingly well tonight.since I can't tell anyone else He wants to see me again soon.

I am

Great news LikeIt!

I'm being a bit indiscreet about my dates and telling all and sundry - I'm sure it will come back and bite me on the bum at some point but I'm too excited not to! Why is it that you're keeping quiet?

Seems that a lot of people are getting lucky at the moment....

Ooh that's brilliant Doing!

I think it's because I don't want to tell everyone in case it all goes wrong. that's another thread entirely

Also because I am also dating a few other people and I'm trying to be discreet. Speaking of, how do you break it to someone else that you don't/can't date them anymore?

LOL Scatty, I love Huffy Illiterate Man - can I have him for myself please, he sounds such a gem!

Dont forget ScaredofPeas when thinking up the next thread title tho (which we seem to be rapidly approaching).

No updates here. Well, actually there's a brooding artistic type on OKC who wants to know if he can join me for a walk with my dog (interesting offer..) but I'm just biding my time until I can resume my conversation with Coffee Man and hopefully firm up our coffee date (what else) for some time this week.

Sponge, did you hear any more from him?

I went to see tim Minchin last night, small, imitate show, 400 people...My god, he's amazing... It hasn't helped my crush :)

Ywk has been pestering in constant contact...

When I got back from the gig mrl text, he was at a gig round the corner. Asked to see me. So, I did. He told me he loves me...... And then we shagged all night. I've had about 30 mins sleep and am not proud of myself.....

Mr Mutual and I discussed another date on Friday so think that's a good thing, didn't take the hint re having a chat during the week so will wait to see if he comes good on date. Think it is for him to contact and arrange.
All seems so difficult when children, work, home is involved too. But definitely nice to think there is a possibility at the end of the week to look forward to.

Watch he text me a few times yesterday (last one about 8ish), but nowhere near the ridiculous levels it was at prior to our date - although he had apologised for that on Saturday and said he was sorry he'd been texting me so much he just couldnt stop thinking about me.

Nothing so far today. Part of me thinks with the stuff about the inhaler etc I'm sure I will see him again - but my main feeling is that it doesnt happen to me, I dont ever see men more than once and theres no actual reason why this would or could be any different to all the rest :(

What are you doing about Mrl then? How did you leave it with him?

Hmmm, well, he's been in contact, so, who knows. You know my date last weekend, was in immediate contact, chatting for a few days, asked if id like to do it again. Then vanished. I had already decided I Didnt want to see him again, but that's not the point.

Erm. I don't know about mrl. It was very awkward when he told me he loves me. I pretended I hadn't heard and Didnt react..the sex is very very good though. I Didnt really engage my brain....

Oh, and we Didnt leave it any way.... He went to work. I went to pick dd up from mums.....

I suppose maybe you could keep MrL as a sort of FWB - although him saying he loves you is a bit awkward.

I dont think anything is going to come of this date of mine, every time I expect things to be different, that I might finally get a second date, and I never do, and probably never will. I'm just so fed up with all of it, with looking like a complete freak, and people thinking I'm odd because men don't want to see me again. And I know people think this, because they've told me as much :(

Off to cry in the toilets now and hope to feel better....

Oh, don't cry :(

Oh sponge I don't like thinking of you crying :(

Oh sponge. Who told you that? Even if honesty is the best policy for the vast majority of the time, that is still an incredibly hurtful thing for them to say.