Honey traps leading to kinky fuckery and other dating adventures (No 21)

[KirstyWirsty]

I want to know what Nicholas's tip was ... and the last thread was full!

lol, def dont go stalking anyones ex's I'm sure you have better things to do:o

still you can bet your bottom dollar that her version would be very different from him, we all like to put our own spin on things...

Sponge, if he has asthma, the sniffles could make him quite ill.
And even strong men can feel down. :)

Benefit of the doubt. At least for today.

And yes, I'd be worried if a man told me his last partner said he was controlling. Why would he mention that???

I'd love to have had a chat with my darters ex wife whom he hates and the poor girl who had a breakdown in his house. He labelled her as 'mental'. But it would be stalking!
Today's inbox is a man who asked if my friends describe me as sexy. I thought of my friends and said no, they are my friends! Disappeared then of course.
Another wondered if he could have a look in my laundry basket with a view to licking my underwear.
One seems reasonably normal.

Lueji I know, I am being suitably caring to him. He gets the benefit of the doubt for now :). And he's still using the pet name in texts which seems to me a good sign.

That should have said caring in my texts to him.

Not sure where half that sentence went!

Scatty, what a pair of weirdos! Does underwear man ever get any positive response to that I wonder - or is it that he gets his jollies from women replying saying 'ugh thats disgusting'? Weird either way.

scatty I jsut got a message from a man wanting to know what i htought of the site, if I'd had any strange offers, etc! He didnt' have a pink shirt and slip on shoes though....maybe they have a script somewhere.

The "what do think of the site" line seems to be the equivalent of "do you come here often?"

I got a message asking what I'd take to a desert island - oh and saying that he was "a fun guy".

It told me all I needed to know. I have replied but I don't think it was what he was hoping for "A wind-up radio or maybe a yacht" I think what he actually wanted to hear was:
"Lol hun plenty of condoms and nail polish an a bikini lol"

Western have you recovered yet?

Fayster good point! I often ask about their experiences because I am genuinely intererested. I wondered why they were so reluctant to tell me. D'oh!

Hi everyone, I haven't posted for ages, due mainly to my laptop breaking - but I now have a new one, hooray! I've read all the posts on my phone, though. The other reason I haven't posted is that I have absolutely no news - the lack of a computer (and other stuff that's been going on) means I haven't been on Match for weeks. But I might have a look tonight. Anyway, I just wanted to say hello to everyone and especially to Snape - I've been following the PM/Prof story and hoping so much that everything works out for you.

Hello peeps. Crawling back in again.

OK, I've got up to a second date- promise of a third, but he hasn't rung yet- with Mr Nice-but-I'm-not-sure-yet.....So far so good there...

....but I've also been messaging someone else (I initiated this one) and I needed to ask y'all's opinion. OK, so he's right up my street (similar interests and lifestyle, is a single dad), but lives quite a long way away (66 miles to be precise- he looked it up ). I should point out that I'm v.v. rural indeed, which is why I'm considering chaps this kind of distance away....

However, after a few messages he basically asked me if I was interested in more than chatting, and did I think a relationship at such a distance was feasible? (fair enough).

So, I replied that I'd messaged him because I liked the sound of him, we're rural so have to roam a bit further afield etc.etc., and that basically, in theory I could see it working logistically;

...and this is part of his reply:
I'm a bit daunted by the distance, both the time and cost of travelling, and working it round kids etc. But I reckon I'd be up for it if I was really into you, if I looked forward to every time we met. I don't know if that could happen, or even if we'll get to the stage of finding out. But I'm up for exploring this further, assuming you are.

Right. If I was really into you? AIBU to think that is a bit twattish? Or am I being ridiculously over-sensitive (ex victim of emotional abuse, keen to never never never repeat the experience again)?

(by the way, while I was composing this epic post, Mr Nice-but-I-don't know-yet called, and we're going out to a nice theatre-y thing on Friday ).

sponge I think it's now time for you to tell us the pet name

Again someone giving me a pet name after one date would also freak me out!!

Question to the old hands jaded cynics on here.
OK Let's call him Mr Mutual (as after second date with snogging, he said he hoped that I shared the feeling that it was good to meet me and hoped feeling was mutual), followed by third date that involved more prolonged snogging, I'm now starting to day dream obsess over possibilities (or at least a shag .
Haven't been here/done this for years. But he does tick a few boxes for me.
Set up new email for dating purposes as I'm easy to find workwise and more, he has address, I have his. I know he is with his son today and I said all of next week no good for me.
So why am I turning into bit of teenager over this? Keeping an eye on my email etc. Is it normal? And meanwhile is it good form to be back on OKC checking out other possibles?
Had a few dates with no expectations and did, I hope, the right thing by them all in saying nice evening but that's all.
I'm not into terribly prolonged chats via the site as doesn't seem much point so have opted for chats followed by call followed by meeting to sort wheat from chaff.

Moving I really dont think I can admit to what it is though if anyone guesses I might confirm it. He'd given it to me on Friday, a whole day before our date .

We do both have form for rushing headlong into things though. He has ended up living with all his Exs within 3 months of meeting them - yes I know, red flag....

Libby welcome back. Have you had a look on Match? More importantly was there anything worth looking at?

Recovering slowly - not used to these late nights. Oh he is really nice, seem to have lots of basic values in common and he is very kind and thoughtful. Don't think I am being taken in, all my instincts are saying he's genuine, been to his house so know he's not married, but maybe I'm not cynical enough.

Loved sleeping (as in the actual sleeping bit) with him. Have really missed sharing a bed.

I am really going to try and be sensible about all this and not get carried away though. If I come on here going "why hasn't he texted?" etc then give me a quick slap.

Sponge. Pleeeeeease tell us the nickname

Western, sounds lovely. Saw you on threads last year so glad things are on the up

Stubborn, 66 miles doesn't seem too much if you can meet in the middle and if you visit weekends.
How long would it take to travel?

And it doesn't seem too twatish to me. Just honest and allowing for your point of view.

Western I really can't. If I did, I would be too embarrassed ever to post here again which would be a disaster as this is the only place I can bemoan my failures, (as everyone in RL is utterly fed up with my inability to find a man who is interested in me beyond 1 date!)

Thanks Struwelpeter - took me a while to get to where I am now after swearing off men forever. . . Hmm maybe I was a bit previous there

I'm not really one to advise you being in something of a teenager-ish frame of mind myself at the moment though trying desperately to stay calm and level headed instead of running about squealing and doodling his initials on my exercise book . . . I'd say go for it, sounds good so far and if you're both happy there's no reason not too. Get another date arranged and then come and tell us all about it

Stubborn it's not the distance per se but how long it takes - 66 motorway miles is less than an hour which I would say is fine, 66 miles on winding roads or mainly in 30 or 40 mph zones is going to be a pain. But like he says, if you're both up for it, it could be okay. Don't think he sounded twattish btw apart from his use of the phrase "into you" which I have an irrational hatred of.

blackdragonblog.wordpress.com/about/

Just.

Stubborn, I think his message is fine. He's just explaining why he's hesitant, and being realistic about things.

Struwel, because you like him and because we all do it! I don't see why you shouldn't be back on OKC at this stage.

Western, that's lovely, made me feel mushy.

Ha Struwelpeter, that's just how I'm feeling! I put it down to the sex drought of the last 2/3 years. Well, not just a sex drought. A total affection drought. A total drought of any kind of intimacy, or of anyone, to be frank, giving a shit. Then, suddenly, there's a whiff of a chance of a man being nice to us, and we need shutting in the coalshed to stop us roaming the streets howling and rubbing our nether regions along the pavement.

I personally think this is why we need to keep a couple of men on the go, in the sense of internet flirting, for a little bit- to stop us going totally berserk over just the one. Although I too would be interested in more seasoned online daters' opinion over this little question of etiquette.

Thank you, peeps, for your verdict of "non-twattish" on Mr 66 Miles. Obviously I was being a bit over-sensitive. Must fiddle with my twat radar a bit more till I've got it right. Just what I thought lueji, about the meeting-in-the-middle-and-weekends thing. It's about 2 hours I reckon though. We don't do motorways down here.

StruwelSo why am I turning into bit of teenager over this?
because snogging releases dopamine and oxytocin, activating your dopamine reward system in the same way that other addictive substances and activities do.

Yes luurve is an addiction, cravings make you act like an arse
what a pain it all is

Altogether now
'love love love is a dangerous drug
You have to receive it and you still can't get enough of the stuff'

' this little question of etiquette'
etiquette be damned Stubborn I've tried having a couple or more men on the go..it sort of helped