Honey traps leading to kinky fuckery and other dating adventures (No 21)

[KirstyWirsty]

I want to know what Nicholas's tip was ... and the last thread was full!

we've been drunk. very, very drunk. drunk doesnt work.

Drunk will work fine if you GO FOR IT !

All this dithering about is only getting you rattled.

rattled is an excellent word. I will think on it a bit. (thank you all for bearing with me, i know i prevaricate for England, but this is terribly important and I cant afford to continue to fuck things up)

Feeling very depressed. Buggerall happening on the job front. Can't get all that excited about most recent date. Still pining for Mr60. And don't even have a reasonable bosom to hoist. Sigh...

yoga ((hug-type-thing)) the heart wants what the heart wants I'm afraid. I suspect the trick is to distract the heart with the foof although that will only work for so long have you read <a class="break-all" href="//%27www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">baggage reclaim? while i dont agree with a lot of what she says, if you're in the right frame of mind, it's quite useful.

Thanks for the link Snape, I'll have a read. In the mean time I found this to cheer me up. Now a good fuck smile from David Tennant would do wonders for my mood!

I LOVE that clip. I learned sonnet 130 because of it, it's now my party-piece. :)

The stuff about getting carried away with fantasy relationships is touching home a bit. Damn, how can a 6 week relationship hurt so much? And it doesn't help that Mr Stax (my date from Sunday night) isn't playing along with my plan to up the flirting to a level that will be sufficiently distracting.

I'm sorry. i thought it might help to illustrate that we all know it isnt easy and that you're not alone - of course that doesn't change your feelings.

David tennant without a shirt

does that help regarding distraction?

David Tenant went to my school .. was in my pal's class a couple of years below me

Snape - of course it helps to know that others feel this way too. As does the shirtless picture of David Tennant. So thank you on both counts.

So....as a newbie to this thread....can I ask what you put on your profile on dating sites.

I've tried the honest way, i've tried the flirty way....and seem to get no-where unless you count blokes who are fat, bald, ugly and way, way over my age requirement! Beginning to think that I am going wrong somewhere

Any tips? :)

A tissue of lies and half truths seems to work well for me. :)

I would say, it's all balance - don't talk too much, but big yourself up where needs be. write a quick list of the top three things that you like about yourself or are really good at and make sure you drop them in throughout the narrative.

Don't write too much, keep it light and optimistic.

hmmm, not just a shirtless david tennant but a shirtless david tennant in low slung drawstring trousers. Drawstrings are just made to be unstrung, aren't they? Yep, that's definitely helping.

Lovemy3 - I probably tend to write too much! I try to balance honesty with a little self-depracating humour cause I think if I'm not careful I can come across as sounding a little arrogant/too smart for my own good. I don't mind sounding a bit smart though because I think it scares off the total fuckwits potatoes.

Worrying too much/over thinking things = story of my life.

It's good to have confirmation Fb stalking is ok. It's actually quite useful for safety reasons, isn't it?

As far as soul searching - I've been more or less single for a couple of years now, so plenty of soul searching for me! It's about time I got back in the saddle...

Shall I message him then?!

I've been thinking about him for such a long time that it'll be a massive letdown if he doesn't reply or is actually really short/has bad teeth etc.

Yeah, go for it and message him, but please take a step back mentally and don't bank too much on this bloke. Treat it as a bit of fun and it's a bonus if anything comes of it.

unbridled - As well as being Queen Stalker, I am also the expert at overthinking. If it was an Olympic sport, I'd be a gold medallist :) So message him, honestly the WORST he will do is not reply. Women tend to send all sorts of terse replies (my date last week said he'd had loads of horrible messages from women telling him he was ugly, not to have pictures of his car up, what a show off he was etc) men can't get into all that stuff - either he will think you look his type and reply, or think you dont, and he wont.

and if he doesn't, well it's his loss and on to the next. The only good thing about this whole internet thing is the amount of men you have to search from shame only about 0.00001% are actually worth dating :)

The reason I want him to be nice is that I wouldn't feel comfortable meeting up with someone who I haven't Internet-stalked to this extent. So I'm mostly using POF as a way of contacting him. Also don't want to put a photo up. Is that bad? One of my ex's friends is on there.

LM3K, I think it was concluded in one the last previous threads that men care more about the photo than the profile.

But, I'd try (I tried) to be as honest as possible about myself and what I wanted.
There's no point in attracting lots of men who are not really suitable.

And try to do it at a time when you are in a good mood and feel confident.
Bring out your nice and caring side.
I suspect that too flirty or too deep may scare off most men.

Still, that doesn't matter. If you would only be happy with a flirty man, go for it, or the same if you'd like a man with a depth of feelings.

Unbridled, don't worry about his number of fb friends.

They are likely to be just acquaintances.

Nobody has anywhere near that number of true friends. And most he may never have even met!

Don't take fb too serious.

You can just have a date meeting up for a coffee for an hour, see if you like him and then do a bit of stalking if you think he might be worth the effort. Sadly most of them probably aren't, not because there's anything wrong with them but because there's just no spark. I know it's easy to say but please try not to invest so much of yourself at such an early stage. It is so easy to let your imagination run away with you and build up expectations and project a fantasy persona on to someone and that's bound to end in disappointment. Sorry if I am a bit of a wet blanket but it can be upsetting to build up an imaginary man in your head when the reality is something quite different. For the same reason, I'd also say meet up quite soon rather than spending weeks messaging and texting so you both get to meet the real person. And then one day I hope you will find that the reality is much better and then you're away!

Sorry last post was to Unbridled

Unbride. Yes the worse that will happen is he will ignore you. Sponge is correct. Or you will get the monosyllabic nonsense. Don't invest much in it even if he sounds keen. I give you an example from my inbox.

Man contacts me to tell me I'm v nice looking as ask what I'm looking for (there is a lot of that). He tells me a bit about himself. All positive comments about me etc. He then tells me he is going away for the weekend.....disappears and I forget about him. Today he sends a message to tell me he is now going abroad for 2 weeks but it's such a shame as he really wanted to meet me and I would have been his first Internet date. Basically it's all bollocks.

I have a detective who messages me the same sort of thing.

I am pretty monosyllabic and I give nothing away. But I've got v cynical..