Honey traps leading to kinky fuckery and other dating adventures (No 21)

[KirstyWirsty]

I want to know what Nicholas's tip was ... and the last thread was full!

who cares if facebook 'stalking' is acceptable, you do it in the privacy of your own home so no-one knows anyway.

People post all the boring minutiae of their lives up on the net for all to see..I dont see why looking at it is regarded as stalking..it's just light entertainment :o

Ywk dated and then lived with terry pratchettes daughter. True story.

Snape, he wants you. It's obvious. You just need to take the jump. Good luck for the job intetview too.

Haunted, reply to who you want to, for whatever reason you like, there are no rules.

Unbridled - fb stalk away, if they are daft enough to have an ulocked profile.....and its worth googling their user name too. Ive cancelled dates quite a few times based on what ive found doing that.

Phew, glad I haven't committed a dating faux pas before I've even started.

He really seems like a decent guy with a stable life and longterm friends.

What I'm worried about when it comes to dating is that I've got pretty much no friends (a case of being wrapped up in DH and when we split people disappeared). I would be put off by someone like me, basically, so I'm worried Mr 500+ friends will be too.

And when does one broach the subject of having DC, is it better to mention them straightaway or wait a bit? I spend a LOT of time with DD and she doesn't stay overnight at her dad's, so if I don't mention her I might seem like a bore who sits at home all day/has mysterious gaps in her history and weekly routine.

Sorry for the stupid questions, DD's dad was my first relationship, so I'm pretty new to the whole dating thing and insecure about basically everything. His actions that led to our break up also pretty much entirely eroded my self-esteem.

Worley, a couple of years ago I had a profile on POF but deleted it after about three months. Online dating is not for me. The perils of being a potato! :o

Snape, this man is into you, but, like me, will not make the first move. You're going to have to do that.

Don't you get offered as a possible 'someone you might know' or friend suggestion if you fb stalk someone you aren't already friends with? So they might know you'd been stalking them, if you don't already have friends in common.

Unbridled, are you doing other things to build up your self-esteem? I ask because I know that some of my worst relationship decisions could have been avoided if I had more faith in myself and loved myself a bit more first. You sound lovely, by the way, but insecurity and low self-esteem could attract the wrong sort of bloke. A (male) friend of mine recently said that he was worried about me when I was saying that I thought this chap or that one was out of my league, as I should be coming from the opinion that any man should be lucky to have an opportunity to meet me!

What do you all think is a reasonable time for someone to call after a date? The next day is too keen, is 4 days too long? I thought it was, and would probably discount someone who left it that long, but someone told me anything less than 4 days would look too keen.

Looks like I have a second date at the weekend.

Snape, FFS !
If PM suggests you should live together when the kids have gone, you need to suggest a trial weekend!
Can't you invite him away with you?

ykw dated & lived with Ms Pratchett! good grief, I could make PM SO jealous with this if it didnt signpost him to the fact that I have been dissecting his every move on mumsnet! Pratchett is a writer. I write. I'm dusting off my brain-cells and lyricism. I feel a short story coming on. don't worry, it won't be grindly obviously soul searching.

Had a lovely moment in the late night garage after the gym, I'd bought peanuts, he was debating whether he wanted to buy peanuts, but decided he would just 'make' me open mine and eat them all on the quick drive back to his. 'oh, like you can 'make' me do anything?' 'you're going to open the peanuts...' 'i know. I always do what you want, why is that?...' then back home to a flurry of incredibly filthy texts from the prof. WHY won't he make the first move?! ( i know the answer to this, low self esteem, fear of rejection, blah, ditto.) I know I need to make a move, I'm just not sure how to go about it.

slap! [wetfish] [wetfish][wetfish][wetfish][wetfish]

unbridled it's fine to fb stalk. add to that OKC stalking, google (real name, dating site user name) electoral registers, linked in.... I dont mention DC in my profile, if i like someone I mention it as soon as possible. as regards self-esteem, we all need to work on that after a relationship ends. I always find a good 6 months of soul-searching/esteem building is a good idea, otherwise I can ricochet into another rebound relationship and that's not good.

fayster I think 'next-day-keen' is quite nice. on day three I shove them in my mental-bin.

Think it would be a great idea to get out of London for a weekend Taghain As ever finances and children are an issue, he's been unemployed for a while (starting new job monday! :) ) would not agree to be taken somewhere without contributing anything, so I am waiting for an elusive competition win.

umm, I can see that.
So could you invite him out for a meal to celebrate your temporary promotion?
Then leap on him under the pretext of being drunk?

Unbridled I have two children, no contact with ex due to dv etc and I'm up front on my profile about having two children who live with me full time. There's no future with a man who can't deal with that and so far it doesn't seem to have put people off. I have good babysitters though, choice of three regulars so I can usually get out for a date when I want to.

Anyway, big news!! He has come through and wants to see me this weekend!! Without being prompted too!! Looks like a definite case of kinky fuckery being involved too which I am well up for though nervous as I've not done it for a very very long time . . .

Tis true, and I know all the insider info ( from his side only, obviously) anyway, is one of the many reasons I cant be with him. He accompanied ms p when her father collected his obe. A Sunday roast and crazy golf championship cant compare.

Unbridled, I think you are worrying too much. These men need to impress you!! There isn't some measuring stick you are up against you know...
I have it on my Profile, I don't mention it, unless it comes up in conversation. Being a mother doesn't define me, I'm.many other things too.

Snape, why wont he make the first move!!! Why wont you make the first move :)

because no one is going to make the first move! argh! [wetfish]

watch please inbox me all the salacious details [/gossip] although this is one of my arguments about the prof, he operates in a different world, obviously the attention and flattery is nice, but my long-held belief in absolutely splitting the costs of dates doesnt really extend to the ivy.

ohwestern 'nods' at kinkyfuckery nerves. I had to be plied with cider (well, a pint...) before any question of my pants coming off. I truly believe the bike-riding analogy, you cant forget how to do it, it's what your body is built to do (that and play hopscotch) it's just a bit nervy when it's a new chap. general experience dictates the person in question is so delighted to have a naked you in the same room as them they they will not notice anything you think of as an imperfection. in short, knock back a single rum, pants off, enjoy. :)

Indeed. See, It's impossible. Totally different world.
( I absolutely split the costs too. I cannot not pay my way, it brings me out in a rash ) pm coming your way....

goody! i see what you did there, 'pm coming your way' indeed

and i absolutely agree - the men in question can't quite work out why the possibility of dinner at the Ivy, for example doesn't impress me or immediately drop my knickers. They find this infuriating and increase their pursuit.

I'm far more impressed with a hand written poem on a postcard or sitting on a park bench at 3AM, it makes me feel less like an aquisition.

Done!

So true. In fact thats ywk to a T

it would never work out, you and ykw.

but the sex would be awesome!

Ahem. Yes :)

Snape, in short, knock back a single rum, pants off, enjoy. Great advice. When are you going to follow it yourself? :)

it'll take more than a single rum to get my pants around my ankles as far as PM is concerned, and by that point i'd be too comatose to actually remember what had happenned, if, indeed anything at all.

Snape my feeling with you and PM is it will happen someday. It's when not if. Just a matter of timing!

I have a date tonight. Can I really be bothered? We were meant to go out on Monday, but as I didn't text him to firm up arrangements he thought it was cancelled . I feel I should go but am lacking in enthusiasm. can someone slap me with a wetfish or something?

The soldier called me out of the blue last night, to ask when he can see me . And when I said I was free to meet him this weekend, he was of course busy.

I suspect PFWB, who is still texting me daily, will say likewise if I ask him...men are just an annoyance at times.

[wetfish]

you're welcome.

hoist up your bosom and begone with you!

Snape, you can always pretend to be drunk...

And Sponge, you sound like some of the men you meet. Go on the date.