Honey traps leading to kinky fuckery and other dating adventures (No 21)

[KirstyWirsty]

I want to know what Nicholas's tip was ... and the last thread was full!

:)

i gave him a get-out clause of 'peters friends or tongue jenga?' (don't ask...)

funnily enough, he did not respond with 'yes, but I was thinking of lots of hot, sweaty sex.'

I find text-flirting difficult sometimes. texts can be misconstrued (not with the prof, difficult to misconstrue some of that...)

No, no, no - don't give him the get out clause. Leave it open and see what he comes back with.

get out clause already given... ahh well.

yes, very good at advice, except to myself.

i had to say something I wasn't going to say, 'I know exactly what will take my mind off of it, but remember, you don't fancy me!'

'what did you have in mind?' allows him to panic, brick it and say something about batman.

head, desk thump.

Snape, if I can do it, you can do it! (Not saying I can, mind. Think I'm a bit backward in coming forward sometimes).

Ridiculously popular day on Match today, Messages from EIGHT blokes - seven new ones and my old favourite! Will look at them properly at home tonight but there are a couple of definite possibilities

Snape, good luck for Thursday.

'I'm always here, We'll find ways to take our minds off things'

Does that mean sex?

That sounds like something I'd send, so it's a yes from me. And like Yoga said, ask an open question next time, don't allow him to opt out. [wetfish]

Careful nicholas. You'll get the thread speculating as to your identity again.

Off to the gym with Pm after an afternoon of raunch from the prof. I feel sexy and beautiful and glowy. Yay, me!

If he mentions his shoulder then it's time for the Plan B what we discussed.

Let them speculate. :o

Snape, snape, snape.
You really have to go for it. :)

Well, whilst taking DS to a local Aquarium and then popular tourist spot, we stopped at a children's park, where a kid started trying to make conversation with DS. The interesting part was that his dad was then full of smiles in my direction.
Which was nice, until the poor child fell off his bike (they were cycling around, as he'd just learnt to ride without stabilisers) and dad's first words were: don't you know what breaks are?

Nice!

And goodbye.

Come on snape you have opportunity after opportunity...you just need to sieze it.

Hmm..

Lookijng for advice.

I have been on OK cupid for 4(ish) days.

Message 1. From a 58yo married man (but its an open relationship) who doesn't want me to tell his wife
Message 2. From the above
Message 3. From the above.

Message 4. Very Bland "Hi" from new man. I didn't respond having a bad week and didn't really have time. Should I respond to just the "hi's"?

Message 5. From another new man (think the 58yo got the message!). He is telling me how "different" from most I seem on there. Apparently we have a lot of similarities (don't see it myself). I dunno just doesn't sit right to me - he is asking me to add on FB in his first message. Is this normal? Not sure he is my type (very arty and musical and I am most definitle not). Do I reply and tell him so? Do I ignore. I don't want to be impolite.

I haven't yet completed my profile, dunno what to put, what not to put really. I am thinking that I don't want to admit to having kids at this stage but I am surprised how many men admit they do (be them living with them or not, but I guess the risks aren't the same for them).
Do I admit to being a (student teacher?)

Whats a 'good' % match or is that all a load of bollocks anyway?

I'm feeling a bit like a fish out of water at the mo. I don't have a twat radar and I am feeling very vulnerable actually. Feel like a Learner driver with L plates to advertise their lack of experience.

Hello Haunted, here's my penn'orth:-

1,2 and 3. Delete and block. A married man in an open relationship but "don't tell the wife". yeah, right.

1. Nah. Don't bother replying. He can't be bothered to impart any information.

1. Red flag for me is asking you to add him on FB in his first message. Don't do it.

Wrt your twat radar, keep reading and posting here. You'll soon hone it with our help.

FWIW,

Message 4 - Do you like his profile? If so, say hi and thanks for his message/first contact. You would like to get to know him better and then ask a specific question about his profile.

Message 5 - ask what the things in common are? Or what he thinks they are? (it sounds standard message to me) Or ask what attracted him to your profile?

I edited my profile after a little while on a dating site, as I got more confident and realised better what I wanted to state about myself.

Also, I agree. No FB!

If you reply, keep it non-commital until he trips up.

Hi Haunted - I agree with Nicholas, none of the above are worth replying to. I think if you complete your profile, write some interesting things, add a couple of photos etc you might start getting some more promising messages. Also, look at other profiles you like - if they see you've been viewing their profile they might be more likely to message you.

Personally I would mention the kids but that's because I have no interest in meeting someone who isn't going to be ok with that. I'm also very upfront about the fact that I don't want more kids.

I'm not sure if the % match is any use but I do like to see how they've answered some questions. Hope some of that helps!

I was back on OKC browsing tonight. I think I'm still on for a 2nd date but he hasn't been in touch at all today and I can see that he's been on OKC and GS in the last 24 hours. I'll still see him again, he was good company but I'm not too bothered either way.

TY.

I shall investigate #4. not convinced by #5...TBH IMO I think we are polar opposites. He is a musician type bod who likes art. I hate music (and what I do have on my profile should reveal that). I don't think I mention art etc.

I could do with some gentle flirting to dip my toe in the water, just to practice before I mess it up with someone worthwhile.

So what proportion to do you
a) ignore without reply
b) reply with a thanks but no thanks
c) reply half heartedly
d) reply enthusiastically
e) initiate contact

Just trying to manage my expectations.

You hate music???

Lovely evening of the gym. :-)

PM thinks I'm getting married to the prof. he's marrying terry pratchetts daughter. said that was about as likely as me marrying the prof. flirted for England. Gold medal flirting. Nothing doing. He suggested we would live together when the kids leave home, current plan is to buy a two bedroomed house. Christ. We're the fucking odd couple. Farrrrrrrgh!

He's off of OKC at the mo. too busy with new job, gym, possibly some acting. No time for a relationship. In a way this makes me deliriously happy, in a way it sucks, because I take that at face value. Bloody buggery fuck.

haunted. They're a bunch of chancers if you haven't completed your profile. I started off trying to reply to everyone as You then get a 'replies frequently' , which, I think encourages people to reply. I now ignore potatoes, People who go 'hi', men in women's underwear in their profile pics and anyone under a 90% match, unless they are devastatingly witty. Message total 82. I've replied to around 30 or so.

Hi Ladies,

I was wondering if I could ask for your advice please... First, what is the consensus regarding Facebook stalking of blokes you come across on dating websites in order to ascertain shagability? Is this a no-no or is it excusable?

I have found someone on POF (needle in a haystack?!) whose profile was really good (proper spelling! no naked photos!). I had also seen him on Guardian soulmates a while before that, but he's not on there anymore now. Because his profile name sounded like his real name, I did some Facebook stalking based on some other info he'd put on POF ... and actually managed to find him, his wall and his photos... He seems great.

The thing that I'm not sure about though is that further general online stalking brought up a thread he'd posted on a POF forum (they exist, apparently) saying that he's never actually met up with anyone from POF despite getting & sending numerous messages because he has 'ridiculously high standards' (his words). His Facebook friends are in the 500s, he seems very active and sociable... Why is someone like this on POF?

He also states in his profile that he's quite athletic, and he certainly seems that way in his Fb photos.

My questions: is it worth sending him a message on POF? I am not athletic at all, about a size 12-14. Should I feel awkward about the Fb stalking?

No I don't particularly hate music.

I said that I don't specifically do music and just listen to whatever is on the radio. (Or words to that effect). I can sing along to all the current stuff but I couldn't tell you what it was called or who it was by.

I shall reply to the latter 2 tomorrow, try and fnd out a bit about message 4 and possible say thanks but no thanks to message 5. Like you say the act of replying has some benefits.

I have had a profile, (which I created without intending to create a public profile) of JustSingleParents. I would never use this for dating as I would worry that it carries a huge advertising banner that you have children. I have literally nothing in my profile at the moment but I have still attracted literally HUNDREDS of chancers. I'm not getting anywhere near that volume on OKC yet.

Oh and snape - he isn't interested in a relationship (with anyone else) ...he just forgot the last 3 words...

Christ does anyone else think that you sound as if you have the relationshipe without the sex?????

Yep, it's like we've been married for 20 years.

Was explaining to him earlier, when I was Olympian flirting that I do enjoy being single, the only thing I miss is sex. the only interest I really have in the prof is sex. I have needs, dammit! Just googled terry pratchetts daughter. If I squint, she vaguely looks like me.

Facebook stalking is, imo, perfectly acceptable. But I am Queen Stalker, so possibly don't take my word for it :) It has however been a way I've found out several men were a lot less single than they wanted me to think, so I feel it has it's benefits.

as to 'why is someone like this on POF' really you could ask that of any of us ladies. Mainly because we can't meet anyone in RL, for various reasons. The best looking man I know who couldn't be less interested in me is on POF, I know he is not, despite being ridiculously attractive and very sociable, the type to chat girls up in bars. and if you can't meet people through work, or know anyone with single friends, all that leaves is dating sites!

The athletic thing I wouldn't worry too much about, unless he's some proper gym addict who goes on at length in his profile about how being fit and diet/exercise are v v important to him and he'd expect this in a date (and frankly if he is the sort of knob that says all that crap, just dont message him full stop!) I am a 14-16 and I've only had 1 bloke be rude about my figure. Most of the dates I've been on have been regular gym attendees (I am most definitely NOT!)

Just send him a message, and see if he replies!

Agree with the 'athletic' vs 12/14 incidentally. You can never tell what someone else might find attractive...

Ooh thank you, that's promising! He doesn't seem to be a gym/diet type person, more outdoorsy/active.

Glad to find out there are others who enjoy a good Fb stalk.

oooh I had literally just been fb stalking.. finished that and came in here to see the very subject broached... thankgod in no the only one..
I discovered... by chance... someone I was chatting to a few months ago on POF has 12 mutual friends with me.. (he showed up on the find friends thing on laptop - not usually on laptop so do t look through it ) and he's friends with my brother.. am glad I didn't meet up with him ! was looking through mr space fb.. he has loads of pictures of his ex still on... I looked through his ex (her page is open!) and she's got none of their wedding or him (unless I can't see that one album but can see lots of other albums)
I also stalked someone on pof who said he was a fireman.. so as I had two friends who are fireman I searched through their friends I try and find him.. turned out he was a fireman but the rest of his fb photos put me off him then lol

Nicholas - are you on a dating site? have you had any success from them ?

I Facebook stalk everyone, and use it to check them out, both in terms of safety but also for long standing relationships.