Honey traps leading to kinky fuckery and other dating adventures (No 21)

[KirstyWirsty]

I want to know what Nicholas's tip was ... and the last thread was full!

34 is a great age indeed. I was 34 the year DS was born.

I'm 41 now and not really bothered. I do feel more confident in many aspects than when I was 20, for example.

I do like the few items of jewellery ex bought me. Or at least the earrings. They are small and discreet.
Just not the underwear. It was more about what he wanted, than what I did.

I didnt really start worrying about my age until I was well over 40...certainly still thought of myself as very young in my 30's.

I've been logging onto ok cupid more lately, starting to like it, not being overwhelmed by stupid messages and butcher shop pictures is quite a relief :o

Hello everyone :)

Tonight is final night of my holiday all on my own and I have a view of the sea :) have to get early ferry tomorrow (7:30 am but the hotel gives me a packed breakfast :)

Is nearly my birthday. Will be 37 on Saturday. I generally prefer even ages but hopefully being 37 will be as good as being 36 :)

Have realised in the past few days that I do like being on my own and need to build a little more of it into life although I also like being in a relationship. Definitely don't want to do anything like living together though.

Yes, OKStupid is far more refined than POF.

My ex never bought me underwear. He did once buy me a jumper with a huge cowl neck with buttons gracing it. It was massive! I dread to think what any underwear he might have bought would have looked like. Going by his own wafter underpants it wouldn't have been the sexy kind.

Hi Miranda. You seem to have been on holiday for ages!! I've been loving your FB pics.

I have been away (with short break in the middle) for a while :) First proper holiday with DC then we went to see friends and family then I came back (leaving them with grandparents and now XH down there too) and have come on my holiday. Not sure I've put any of proper holiday on FB and they are on computer that is not happy. But luckily I know a friendly IT Geek

Had a promising date last week, really liked him. Texting and a phone call since the date but all quiet over the weekend. He hasn't texted me and I've not texted him as I didn't want to seem clingy. Now I have just been on Match and found him on there too - I was just going for a little look round as I was a bit bored. I know this is huge double standards as I have done these things just the same as him, but it doesn't look good to me. Should I maintain radio silence or send a quick text to see how his weekend has been?

Hello all just on train home after my date. He was really lovely! Not necessarily head over heels I can't wait to get you into bed lovely but relaxed and fun and easy to talk to lovely. Paid for everything, walked me to the station and a kiss on the cheek.

Yoga. That's really good to here. Was their flirting and good body language. I can always tell whether a man is interested in me by his body language. And I am rarely wrong.

OhW. Ive come to the consclusion it doesn't really matter whether you text or not generally. He is on Match, he may be bored or he may be back on it.
To be honest I get so fed up with the text tennis and the banal 'hi how are you?'
If it was me I'd either send him a text message or a message on match and you will soon know if it's propelling or not if the texts dry up or he doesn't respond. Or you can do nothing.
I'd probably text but i wouldn't get tied up in text tennis. But I'm not an expert as I struggle to get a first date!

Sorry spelling and grammar is poor

WW - I don't think any harm in sending a wee text and see how he responds.

Scatty - "was there flirting and good body language?". Honestly, i'm not sure but my radar is pretty rusty! He defnititely seemed to be having a good time, relaxed, didn't seem bored or in a hurry to rush off! We had loads to talk about and got on really well. On the other hand, there wasn't that instant spark of I want to stick my tongue down your throat right this minute chemistry I've had with others in the past so a bit uncertain. I also think he should have texted me to make sure I got home ok...

It's funny, I've been out with 4 guys in the last 6 or 7 months. With 2 of them there was serious text & email flirting even before the first date and things progressed very quickly once we met! With the other 2 there was definitely no flirting, no chemistry and no 2nd date. Either way they were all clear cut. This is the first time I can't quite tell.

Do you think a bit of flirting before the date helps things along a bit so you're both more in the mood so to speak when you meet?

In my experience nothing prior to the date counts when you meet. I've met incredibly keen men who prior to the date have said all sorts and I've been the one holding them back. Then on the date nothing.....
I've also met men who haven't complimented me in the slightest and then asked me out again. And those who have complimented me and not followed it up. It's impossible to tell.

I think it's kind of "which came first?" thing. Is there flirting before hand beause the chemistry is there or does early flirting increase the likelihood of some sexual chemistry on the first date? No idea.

Also down to different personalities I reckon. This guy from last night seems a bit shyer/more reserved than the two I had serious flirting with so maybe he's just not that interested or maybe he's just a bit of a slow burn IYKWIM..

hmm, i'm not sure that 'chemistry' can really be discerned before you've actually met in person?

mercury - to some degree you are totally right. There's only so much you can tell before you actually see & touch someone face to face. Having said that...in all of my experiences so far, the pre-date 'chemistry' has matched what it's felt like on the first date.

TBH, I'm not keen on heavy flirting before a first date, simply because it seems fake or artificial to me.
I suspect it has often to do with our idealised image than real chemistry.

I agree with mercury.
People can be very different online/ phone/ etc to how they are in rl.

Happens all the time.

Having said that, if we chat easily and maintain intellectual interest then that is probably likely to also happen at a date.

Yogagirl you must be exceptionally skilled in assessing people via internet interactions :o

I've mostly been utterly surprised at the actual person who showed up on the first meeting, even when I'd seen photo's and spoken to them on the phone they were NOTHING like I'd imagined.
(mostly in a bad way but occasionally I was very pleasantly surprised:) )

Leuji, yes, thats true. But ive never Been able to judge chemistry. It's a well known fact of internet dating, that you cant judge anything until you meet.

Ive had plenty ive got on Well with only in person they were totskk different. Or smelled. Or had a funny voice/ etc.

Physical chemistry is obviously difficult to judge.

mercury - I'm sure it's more luck than skill!

I agree that people always seem to look different in person no matter how many photos you've seen!

Just had nice text from last night's date. Says it was lovely to meet me, he had fun & would very much like to do it again sometime but couldn't tell if I did. I've said I would be happy to do it again so now he's offered to think of something fun and interesting to do (he mentioned skydiving but I'm pretty sure he's joking! ).

Chemistry really can't be decided on before meeting in person. I've lost count of the ones I got on amazingly with online, only to meet in person and just think 'oh god no' or know that they were clearly thinking it...

People can look so different to their pics, like a tiny build on a short frame that looked ok in pics or they can be hiding bad teeth, or smell funny/have no idea how to do laundry properly, or terrible socially awkward/inappropriate, or be really stingy/late/annoying/clearly not into you in person.

None of that is possible to judge before actually meeting. I did get pretty good at it in the end, (I should think so too after the amount of dates I had) but a few still surprised me in a disappointing way

Well, I did send a quick text last night but no reply and nothing today so I guess that's that. Feeling pretty down and disappointed, really liked this guy and we hit it off amazingly well. What on earth are people looking for if this wasn't good enough for a second date?!! I did like him a lot but I guess I just need to pick myself up and get back on that old dating horse.

go yoga girl! that sounds promising !
I had a text from the one "that needed space"at the weekend asking how I was. so he managed 2 and a half days before texting me again. us was very polite and said I was fine thankyou and didn't ask any questions back so as not to engage conversation :)
I was going to give it six months but a friend recommended match.com. do anyof you think it's any better than POF? or just same people ?