Confused, my heart goes out to you.
I am a year and a half out of a relationship with a controlling and emotionally abusive man. We were together for 12 years, he was the 'father' to my son, and i also have 2 daughters from that relationship. The amount of emotional damage this caused to my son was/is horrific.
When I met him I was not long out of a physically abusive marriage, and thought I had made a good choice (as did all of my friends) I thought I was lucky to have him, I thought he was a brilliant catch. At the time I was just starting a new career, having finished my PGCE, I had a good circle of friends, I was an active member of a club, I saw my family regularly. By the end of the relationship I lived miles away from all of my friends, no longer went to the club, no longer went to meetings of the club he was a member of, even though I introduced him to the people in it, no longer went to work, rarely saw my family, and only phoned people when he wasn't at home, and I thought I had made all of these decisions for myself!
I so understand how hard it is to see, I so understand how hard it is to make that decision to end it.
In the end I stopped laughing at his 'jokes' (put downs), stopped jumping to his every wish, stopped apologising for everything, stopped responding to his sulks and his strops, after a friend lent me the Lundy book. It took 5 weeks for HIM to leave ME.
You can find that strength within you, you don't sound ready just now, but you will be, keep in touch with your mum, try to widen your social contact, go to toddler groups with your DS, take him to the library, to the park, put yourself in a position to meet other people and make friends, accept offers of popping in for coffee, extend offers of the same, this is will absolutly help you find your strength. Absolutly contact Women's Aid, they have been and still are a huge support to me and my children and i wholeheartedly recommend them. If you can, see a councillor, and keep posting here, you will get the support.
It may be that your H is willing to put in the effort to make your marriage work, mine only was until i disagreed with him, but I suspect he won't. I suspect if you call his bluff, he will try really hard until you are hooked again (he must really love me, look how nice he is being when he realsied how upset i was) and then it will slide back to the way it is now, and that may happen several times before you decide that enough is enough. I hope I am wrong, for your sake.
But for now, all I can do is give you a most unmumset like