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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

just want to get this off my chest..

641 replies

KurtWild · 25/08/2012 20:38

Long time lurker, very occasional poster...getting straight to the point DP (DH in a few months time) works away 3 out of every 4 weeks and is becoming increasingly crap at staying in touch. It's night out after night out for him when it used to be he called me straight after work for a quick hi how are you and DC, then later when DC (three under 3's) were in bed he'd call for a proper chat...it was great to think he made that time to keep the connection going, I felt like part of his life even though he was miles away, felt like he missed us etc. Now I feel so low down his list of priorities to the point where I don't think I'm actually on it at all!

Don't get me wrong, it must be boring as hell sat in a hotel room but to be out til after 1am every single night? And a few times these last two trips he's been out all night, no call at all just a text to say he loves me and his phone is dying. Is it me or is this taking the piss? Not to mention the cost at London prices... When I bring it up he says I'm being needy and he works hard does he not deserve a social life!! I'm not saying that, I'm just saying I miss the calls, the goodnight texts..I miss feeling like part of his outside life. I do have a life btw, friends, family etc and work part time from home (run ragged I am lol)... so it's not a resentment thing I just feel like its increasingly becoming out of sight out of mind and it bloody hurts.
I keep bringing this lack of communication up and he says he'll try more and does it for a few days then it falls back to bare minimum. I think I'm beginning to flounder, I hate feeling like this. For those in relationships where the OH works away, are they in touch quite a bit? Maybe it's me expecting too much? I don't know anymore!

OP posts:
Inertia · 12/09/2012 20:56

All the best Kurt.

Your children will do fantastically well with you as their mum, you more than make up for a waste-of-space father.

Your parents sound brilliant too.

Good luck! Thanks

WhereYouLeftIt · 12/09/2012 21:09

Best wishes Kurt. If you need us again, we'll still be here Smile. To sympathise, to offer advice, or just to listen when you don't want to bottle it up but you also don't want to open up to those who know you in real life. And in the longer term, to come on here just for a laugh; or to offer your sympathies, advice and shoulder to cry on to others.

lazarusb · 12/09/2012 21:19

Best of luck. Smile Will look forward to a positive update.

Auntienokids · 12/09/2012 21:23

Kurt, you are blessed with great, supportive parents. You have to invest your time and energy carefully because both are precious so you're right to withdraw. Wishing you well, some peace and hope for a better future. It's a sunny day tomorrow, as night follows day life goes on X

Midwife99 · 12/09/2012 22:33

Good luck lovely - you know where we are if you need us. Smile

BerylStreep · 12/09/2012 22:46

Hey Kurt, best of luck. Hope to see you elsewhere on MN, not having to discuss this. Perhaps Style & Beauty? Smile

Bossybritches22 · 12/09/2012 23:00

All the best Kurt- love to your Mum & those lovely babes- you take care of yourself xxx

AnyFucker · 12/09/2012 23:29

all the very best, kurt

you and your babies deserve nothing less x

Doha · 12/09/2012 23:41

Take care of yourselef and your lovelt babies Kurt.
Onwards and upwards.

A bientot xx

ChasedByBees · 12/09/2012 23:52

All the best Kurt x

blackcurrants · 13/09/2012 00:15

All the best, lovey, take care of yourself. And do let us know how you're getting on.
X

tallwivglasses · 13/09/2012 00:25

You're one amazing woman. Your mum must be very proud x

WongaDotMom · 13/09/2012 11:36

I am delurking to wish you good luck in the future Kurt. I have been where you are with 2 young DDs many years ago.

Your H and his partying life sounds utterly boring.

The loss is his, not yours. Your life as a mum responsible for 3 lovely young DCs will not be easy, but certainly not boring!

Listmaker · 13/09/2012 12:18

You sound such a lovely and 'sorted' lady your babies will be fine whatever! Good luck and I look forward to reading how well you are doing in a few weeks time!

Clayhanger · 13/09/2012 13:09

Also delurking to wish you all the best. He has lost so much and by the time he realises that it'll all be too late. Good luck xx

Plinkityplonk · 13/09/2012 16:09

Best of luck for the future Kurt, take care x

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