I'm quite happy with a jar of Branstons

[LouP19]

Morning all.

Talking of Toast Toppers, he took 2 tins of that as well. Yes, really.

My pantry is now full of Heinz cheese ravioli and Tesco sausage and beans.

Lou. Your counsellor sounds like gold! And two hours? Plus up to 12 more? I'm actually envious - not of the situation that's led to your meeting this woman, obv, but of the confident strides you will make with such support.

I bet you'll sleep better tonight :)

Hi Lou, glad the counselling session went well - it sounds like you have plenty "food for thought" - and as for eating chutney... The irony isn't lost - I did laugh when I read that bit!! X

good for you, Lou, sounds like you went in with the right attitude and got the kind of counselling you need. It's funny how you can look back, only after it's over, and think "huh, I suppose I always thought x was odd..." - the mind does strange things!

Hurrah for your friends and family rallying around, and frankly, a great big hurrah for you, Lou, You're being blardy brilliant!

Onward and upward Lou, a productive session!

Very pleased to hear that you've had a good session and there are more to come.

I am so pleased that you are getting some good objective advice, sounds like it really worked for you. You are doing amazingly.

Wow, what an excellent counsellor. :) Sessions can be tiring (in a good way) but it sounds very helpful and positive. Lots to think about...

Glad you had a positive session Lou and fascinating to hear what your friend said about The Branston Burglar. After my divorce a friend of mine who always seemed to get on very well with my exH (actually suspected that she fancied him) said to me, "Thank God you got rid of him, the smarmy git, always gave me the creeps. Now you can look for a proper man."

Enjoy the rest of your evening Lou.x

That sounds like a really good counsellor, Lou. Seems as if she has his number all right.

Try to have a relaxing interlude now. Counselling can be draining.

Thanks everyone, appreciate your advice. Feel knackered now, really tiring session, but she was brilliant. She also said I'm extremely self aware, which I'll take as a compliment. I don't have many good points, but that is one of them I think,....... I've quickly recognised how he's been damaging my confidence and self belief for months on end. I mean, that event last summer - taking me to a farmers market, telling me he didn't want children and that I couldn't talk to him about it until he was ready. (Which turned out to be 2 months later). What a controlling fucking bastard. His attitude was 'If you're good, but you have to be very very good, I might come round to the idea'. What a shithead. And since then I've lived in fear of not being quite good enough for him. He has known this and taken full advantage.

I am fearful but also optimistic for the future, whatever it holds. Because I haven't felt secure or happy for quite a while.

Back to work tomorrow. Thanks for your support, very much appreciated.

Evening Lou. So glad you had a positive session. Wrt the little bit of relief - I remember that well. Now, 3 years on, I'm so relieved that I sometimes forget that it was him who left - not me! Take care. x

Hi Lou, so glad the counsellor was good.
I don't have many good points I know I won't be the only one to say this - Never put yourself down Lou, you are a lovely lady with the strength of a bloody lion. What you've been faced with this last few weeks, many would have crumbled, don't you underestimate yourself.
I'm so glad she's helped you to see clearly what H has been doing to you for so long. The truth is Lou, YOU were too good for HIM and still are.
Have a good day at work, take care x

He found the thing that meant the most to you and used it to torment you. He is a piece of work, and the counsellor is so right to warn you he may get extremely nasty. You should prepare your solicitor for that. Don't write off any possibility on the basis that it would be outrageous. Look at what has already happened.

And yes, you have legions of good points.

I am so glad that you had a positive session with the counsellor, and it sounds as though you really have things in perspective.

Wishing you a good day at work tomorrow, and increased self-confidence with every moment.

At least you know, with regard to the future, whatever decisions you make are your decisions, on your terms, to suit you. :)

Portofino, there is ample evidence that this man will turn nasty (if further turning is even possible at this stage -- that is the way he will keep on turning) and any counsellor worth his or her salt would point that out.

This is not joint counselling, Porto, it is Lou's counselling, for her, in her particular circumstances, facing a decision about her pregnancy. The idea that the counsellor took sides is preposterous.

Lou -- you have an excellent counsellor.

Absolutely NO counsellor worth anything would make judgements about a 3rd party like that. A 3rd party not present, and one they never ever met. They would NOT make assumptions like that. It would be highly unethical.

Unless you have a crystal ball, you can't possibly know how he will behave. There is no evidence for something that hasn't happened yet.

I am also pleasantly surprised by the counsellors statements. I have seen several and discussed childhood abuse in great length. They have never condemned my abuser, or speculated.

I'm impressed by yours.

Just back online Lou and cheering you on! x

I'm not saying that Lou saw a Women's Aid counsellor, but I strongly suspect they're "on the side" of the woman sobbing in front of them. And being quite ethical about it too.

Lou, but yet he continued to go for sperm tests and knew you were starting clomid etc. And you were still trying? Not saying that he had not become abusive, but he was obviously past the I don't want kids thing. And obviously the trying was successful. I guess it makes his subsequent actions much harder to understand though.

My counsellor talks about my STBXH all the time and the way he has treated me. It is all part of my counselling. The counsellor can agree that you have been treated badly Lou and can feel sorry for you too. My counsellor has warned me if many things my H may do in order to prepare me on how to deal with it.

Your conseller sounds very good to me. And my second session was much better than my first.

Oldlady, Lou had a emergency pregnancy counselling session. Presumably at the fertility clinic as she was under the consultant there...it is a bit different.

Hi Lou :) I'm really glad your counselling session was useful for you and helped you feel positive. Your counsellor sounds really good in preparing you for feelings you might experience etc. This seems a positive move forward. xx