Evening all, poem was brilliant again Beckamaw!! I bow to you,.... You are making me, my friends and family smile.
Counselling very very good. She gave me a 2 hour session and has offered me 2 more before I have to make a decision. Plus then I can have up to 10 if needed, but she understands the urgency of getting a few things sorted in my head quite quickly. Some key points:
Firstly she said he's been eroding my self confidence away for far longer than I'll admit to anyone. Correct on that one,.... You know I always thought he was capable of something like this, and I always deep down feared it. I used to have bad dreams all the time about him leaving me and I was sat at my parents house doing internet dating. And now look at me!! At least I no longer have that fear. She has said I'll blossom in years to come though,.... Let's hope so.
Then she said given the calculatedness of his behaviour I can expect him to get nasty. You've all warned me about that, and I am prepared (as much as I can be). She was ASTONISHED at the level of his deceit and how he left, especially the taking me to a car park and telling me to 'get out the car'. Had never quite heard anything like it.
She also said I seem confident and chipper at the moment. I am. I'm heartbroken and devastated, but also a tiny bit relieved if I'm honest. But she says to expect a dip at some point and to expect that to be quite nasty. I'm aware of this, but appreciated her realism.
Re: the baby, lots of practical advice. Some of quite harsh, but appreciated hearing from an objective perspective. This will be touched on next week more.
Also lots of practical advice re: finances, securing the house etc. Didn't expect that, but given my circumstances and his behaviour she thought that was all very important.
So a good session. And afterwards went to a gallery in a nearby village and had a falafel and spicy relish (Yay, chutney!) wrap which was absolutely lovely. And my friend of 15 years said she always thought he was a bit too smarmey for me, a bit too 'eager to please everyone'. And that it never seemed quite genuine!!
Hope you all had good days.