I'm quite happy with a jar of Branstons

[LouP19]

Morning all.

Talking of Toast Toppers, he took 2 tins of that as well. Yes, really.

My pantry is now full of Heinz cheese ravioli and Tesco sausage and beans.

Lou, the time comes when you have to step back, and face the full reality of all that you have lost, and really start the mourning process. In your case, maybe its been on hold somewhat, because of the pregnancy, which has had to be - and still is - your priority. Also, you have been surrounded by people who care for you, and been there for you, not wanting you to be alone too much. However, accepting these feelings, day to day, will help you when these things start to overtake you, as today seems has done. Dont fight it sweetie, let your emotions have full rein. Thinking of you.

Hi Lou. I totally understand how you feel, the shock, the grieving, the missing the man he used to be. It takes time but you will settle into a new life and a new routine for yourself. You will start to feel the anger at some point and that will start to override the grief and shock.

Enjoy those crumpets. I may go home and have some myself .

Hi Lou,
You mentioned downthread that you wonder what he is thinking. I would bet my house that it is a combination of the following:
What the fuck have I done?
What the fuck have I done?
What the fuck have I done?
What the fuck have I done?
What the fuck have I done?
What the fuck have I done?
What the fuck have I done?

The thing is that he has swapped a familiar, real, intelligent, funny, brilliant woman. In return he thought he was getting an exciting, surprising, fresh experience.
But now she is real, boring, pregnant, annoying, needy and she farts!

As others have said, grieving is exactly what you are going through right now. Grieving has several phases and I guess you will go through all of them. But as long as you recognise it as that, you will realise that there is light at the end of the tunnel.

With regard to the counselling - hopefully it will help you to recognise your thoughts and get them into some sort of order so that you can make your decision. The decision will always be yours, but a good counsellor should be able to help you reach your innner thoughts and form them into a decision that is right for you.

Hi Lou, Sorry the BBQ didn't go well.
URGHHH just URGHHH at hot tubs, I'd have left too ran for the hills away from the AM DRAMS
Hope you get what you need from counselling tomorrow Lou, hope it goes well.
Take care xx

I love the fact than in the middle of all this inane chatter about crumpets
(my childhood treat was weetabix spread with butter and sprinkled with sugar btw!!)

A couple of posters have put in serious concerns about the dangers of Hot Tubs (i'm looking at you porto!!!).

Absolutely bloody brilliant

Glad your having a lovely relaxing weekend Lou, it is definately a process - just remember you have just got through your first 'holiday' weekend without the chunt and.......

.......it was ok wasn't it?

Well I will be going in no more hottubs!! yy to weetabix with butter on.

Weetabix with jam and peanut butter

You're doing so well, even if you can't see it yourself. If you find yourself in some jagged places, don't afear my dear - all part of the process. It passes.

Thanks everyone, your comments have really helped. Had cheesey crumpets for tea, lovely jubbley!

Saw some more neighbours this evening and told them, because they asked how we both were. Again, they were stunned 'but he seemed so NICE' they said. Hmmm. Anyway, luckily I got the 'we're here if you need us' comments. Really appreciate all this rallying round. I'm coming out of my shell a bit.

And Beckamaw I love your post, thank you. I hope she farts like a fucking trooper. (PS Your peom has also made many of my friends smile too).

I missed porto's hot tub info lol. Just had a look, and yuck!!! think I'm safe in my neighbours sisters tub as she runs a high quality spa but I don't think I'll be going in any others any time soon lol.

Enjoyed my crumpets for tea, spent a lovely day with my parents.

Thinking of you tomorrow Lou. What time is your appointment? Maybe if we all think of you at that time you will feel the support that you know you have from all of us. xx

12.30 Skye. Friend taking me, then going out for cake after.

OK then, everybody on this thread needs to think of Lou at 12.30 tomorrow so we can send some positive vibes her way.

Lou, I hope the counselling goes well and helps you to figure out what you want.

I'm starting to mention food in everything I post, aren't I?

Night night all. xx

All the best for tomorrow, Lou. I hope your counsellor's warm, empathetic, pragmatic, unbiased and brilliant!
Congrats on a very nice weekend :)

As usual I have no good advice but what everyone else has said seems very good. I'll be thinking about you tomorrow at 12:30. I so hope it helps you. Sleep well. X

Ah Lou, I'm glad you liked my poetry. I'm sure there will be plenty more where that came from.

Fingers crossed that tomorrow will help you get your head around things.

Good luck tomorrow, Lou - and food is very important! :)

Have you thought of doing some studying? I'm sure you're massively qualified anyway, but you would enjoy it I'm sure. There's the OU - which has become rather expensive - but as you work for a Uni, you're probably able to access any lectures or courses they run for free. I find studying fills up empty hours really well, I enjoy it enormously and ultimately I'll have another qualification. Win-win!

Morning Lou. Thinking of you today. I hope the counselling is a helpful experience and that it brings you some clarity

Lou - As Chunt didnt get your solicitors letter over the weekend, it is likely that he may well receive it this morning. You might want to think about turning your phone off so that you don't have to deal with his crap this morning. Today is an important day for you and you need to keep your head as clear as you can. You can deal with him when you are ready, but today has to be about YOU and your decision needs to be made calmly without his crap influencing you one way or the other.

Will be thinking of you at 12.30 x

Hi Lou, hope the counselling goes well today. I would also second Poogles' suggestion that you turn off your phone so Chutney Twunt can't contact you and upset you.

Thinking of you (and also crumpets...)

Morning everyone,

Slept right through last night, no waking at 4am churning over the details,... and that's the first time since this happened. Had a busy morning, done a load of washing, changing the bed, cleaned the kitchen. Dad here doing more DIY jobs that needed doing. Good to be busy.

I've changed his name in my phone so if he contacts today I'm going to ignore. Doubt he will now, everything he's done has been so massively cowardly that I think he'll disappear for a few days. Everything about this whole affair has been about him burying his head in the sand, running away. I now suspect he'll be doing this at the other end with the OW, desperately wondering how he can conceal my pregnancy from her.

Have a good day all, sun shining here.

Shall I compare thee to a massive cunt? (MN Sonnet 18)

by William Shakespeare

Shall I compare thee to a massive cunt?
Thou art more annoying and more narcissistic,
You text, you thieve, you lie, you grunt.
My love, you take the fucking biscuit!

Sometime, too hot a spicy chutney burns,
And with this, a twunt with thieved meat sinned;
And every time the table turns,
Have these spoils caused your fucking wind?

But thy eternal summer is at an end.
You lost possession of that fair prize,
For Lou needs not this 'chutney friend'
Who became John Terry before her eyes.

Eternally, your spoons - ill gained,
Shall keep in mind Lou's lovely heart.
But in despair you must remain,
With second best and her chutney farts.

Beckamaw

Lou - good luck for the counselling. Will be thinking of you at 12.30. x