I'm quite happy with a jar of Branstons

[LouP19]

Morning all.

Talking of Toast Toppers, he took 2 tins of that as well. Yes, really.

My pantry is now full of Heinz cheese ravioli and Tesco sausage and beans.

Very best wishes for counselling tomorrow and glad this weekend has been a good break.

I imagine that this shell is one that Twunt built around you. For you to show such strength, for friends, strangers and people you know but aren't really friends to have rallied around you so quickly, to tell you that they KNEW this amazing person was under all that Twuntery, says that the shell either wasn't very thick or wasn't really you to begin with.

Ps... toasted crumpets with butter and golden syrup. Best. Thing. Ever.

oh, totally with you on the hot tubs! and the larger-than-life personalities.

You didn't let anybody down - I'm impressed that you instinctively know how to take care of yourself. by hot-footing it away from situations that aren't your thang. bravo.

Your day today sounds perfect Lou I'm cleaning out cupboards.

Have a great day and gather your strength ready to face tomorrow. X

Morning Lou, Just checking in to see how you are. As usual I don't really have any practical advice (on twuntery, hot tubs or even the ideal topping for a crumpet - will give that one some thought) however, I hope you have a lovely day. The weather here is awful today and feels properly like Autumn.

I've spent the morning putting the BBQ and garden furniture away for the winter. I hope you all enjoy the balmy Indian Summer this action will undoubtably bring...
Take care x

Mavis Thanks! Your putting away of the BBQ and garden furniture will guarantee us an Indian Summer!

No-o-o-o-o-o!

I'm not letting summer go that easily! no way! what, after about a week of it??!?

only just got out the parasol (hammock still in the garage). I'm waiting. Patiently.

Enjoy your day Lou & rest up for tomorrow.

Whatever thoughts & emotions it undoubtably stirs up just go with it & ride the storm ....

Lou, you're fab! I have lurked on the thread, wanting to write but not having the courage to. As you wrote, and as echoed in ComradeJing's post - take comfort and strength in the gestures of people around you. It is a reflection of he beautiful person you were, you are and you will continue to be. You are strong even if at time's it may not feel that way.

I wish you the best in life. From your writing you're wonderful and just remind yourself that you deserve to be looked after. You know the chutney thief is not reasonable so don't validate what he says and don't let it drag you down.

So glad you had a good weekend and a bit of a break, Lou - wishing you the best for your bank holiday Monday!

(I had pancakes and sausages for breakfast this morning and it was amazeballs) Hurrah for tasty food!

My neighbours sister has a hot tub. I've been there for spa nights with other women and that's fine. Also been round there for a meal with couples and did not go in the hot tub lol. My ideal of hell at a dinner party..

I now have a banging headache after last nights BBQ......

Enjoy your day Lou, get plenty of rest and I hope tomorrow goes well.

I'm cooking a roast chicken dinner with all the trimmings - but all I want now are crumpets!

Hot tubs and pregnancy.

Bit envious of the crumpet chat, admittedly. Lashings of butter, while hot so it melts through

Afternoon all. Had a nice morning with a friend wandering round the scarecrows (but it is COLD here today) and then had a pub lunch. Bought more crumpets for tea.

Feel a bit weird today. Friend left at 3 and I don't really know what to do with myself. Miss him. Am I allowed to say that?! I miss what I used to have I guess. I really miss my husband from 12+ months back. I've seen a couple of things on TV this afternoon that we would've shared a private joke about. Almost feel like I've got to create a completely different context for everything.

I can't stop wondering where he is and what the hell he's thinking,...... I can't switch these feelings off. And I have no idea about the baby. Everyone keeps saying 'What's your gut feeling?' and the honest to god truth is I don't have one. Just hoping for some epiphany moment over the next 2 weeks,...

Anyway, thank you for your messages and I hope you're all having a good Monday.

It is understandable that you miss the man you were in a relationship with. you are human. It has been a few short weeks and you still love and miss him.

You don't have to answer the next question. I am not after a reply just putting it you to and I don't know if it is a good thing to ask.

How would you feel if you woke up in the morning and had lost the baby?

Of course you're allowed to miss him - you were with him for 10 years! Or at least miss what you used to have before he started cheating and lying. You've gone from being part of a couple, to not. It's natural and normal to miss the other person even if they have turned out to be a complete shit and not at all the person you thought they were. However you feel is okay.

As for 'gut feeling' or not, hopefully the counselling will help you to make a decision. You're probably so numb still from everything that's happened that you're not really engaging emotionally - and who can blame you? I remember feeling utterly, utterly numb after a horrible break-up. I felt like I could stick pins in myself and I wouldn't feel it. I was like a zombie. And it was nothing like as bad as what you're going through.

good post juneau

Thank you. I know they'll be lots of moments over the next few weeks when I'll be on my own in the house and I'll feel very raw. Today is one of them. I've tried to keep busy most of the weekend, but the reality is I can't keep busy all of the time. There are going to be these horrible afternoons/evenings where I've just got to sit alone and digest some of it. Still think I'm in shock and the adrenelin is what's keeping me going, but am well aware that there's plenty of crappy times ahead. Grieving I guess.

I think it's tea time. Crumpets!

Grieving is 'nail on the head'.

Would it help to think about repainting/decorating the house? I know you've done the bedroom but what about a refresher for the paint etc, or maybe just move the furniture around. It might make the house more yours, and also give you a little project to mull over in the bleak moments.

I don't mean a complete refurb at all, just a few things like moving a chair or two, some pictures, ornaments or painting a room. Sometimes refreshing a room makes it seem completely new.

You have to grieve too, you can't just move on with your feelings - 10 years is a long time and you need to allow yourself to mourn what has been. Don't force yourself to be cheery if you don't feel like it, sometimes a really good wail is very helpful. I find if I'm feeling low a good walk helps a lot, and think a lot of things through when I'm walking - I don't mean a 10 mile yomp either, a gentle stroll is just as beneficial.

Hot crumpets with dairylea (or laughing cow).

Lou , it is ok to miss him , or at least who he used to be , I think it's part of the healing process .

It's freezing here too ( having said that , it's always freezing up here in Scotland )

Hot tubs are officially mingling ...I know someone who caught impetigo and swears it was from a hot tub . Lucky escape with that one .

That cheesey crumpet sounds Devine .< looks in kitchen , no crumpets , no cheese , sighs deflated with hunger >

MINGING not mingling

Hope you can enjoy the rest of the day Lou. The counselling tomorrow might bring the clarity of thought you need, I very much hope so at least.

These lonely moments might seem gut wrenchingly hard but each one is sadly neccessary and a tiny step towards getting over this heartache. Hope you have a lovely evening with the cats and some crumpets :)

Please excuse the mini hijack, am on twatphone so I can't pm.

Droves, how are you? How's ds?