I'm quite happy with a jar of Branstons

[LouP19]

Morning all.

Talking of Toast Toppers, he took 2 tins of that as well. Yes, really.

My pantry is now full of Heinz cheese ravioli and Tesco sausage and beans.

Ponders, in lou's last post she says "I suppose all I can do is sit and wait"

That is the sentence I am responding to.

Well,everybody needs some time out. Even solicitors. I'm surprised to hear that some work weekends.. If I were Lou I think I'd be glad to have a weekend where I didn't have to deal with any of the mighty difficult decisions she has ahead of her. I say let her dictate the pace. If she chooses to take it slowly,it's because chutneycock has made various comments about why hasn't she divorced him yet - within about two days I think - so why shouldn't she not play into his hands. There's no rush,Lou will do as she sees fit at a pace she is comfortable with.

Lou said herself "All I can do is sit back and wait"' No, that isn.t all she can do. That is what I meant. She is is not helpless and unsupported - far from it. She has found her anger - time to take charge of the situation.

regarding portofino comments

i think she is making some valid points in this thread,like portofino says you cant make somebody pay the morgage,there has to be a legal decision on this

isnt it better to have a variety of views to help the op and let her decide

tuck

sorry cross post

What kids said! Much more succinctly than I.

When people say there is no rush - there is no compulsion upon ex to pay the billls for a house he is not living in. He might be jointly obliged to pay the mortgage - but no such obilgations exist for the electric bill. Not one person- even me has suggested CAB and any benefits Op might be entitled to. But he is gone. For we know he could have taken meter readings.

Absolutely. And sorting things out will help you retain your control.

personally think if husband has been this much of a twat i would no way trust him and to keep paying the morgage,it aint gonna happen

he steals the condiments for ffs and you think hes gonna pay towards the morgage

op secure your financial position as much as you can

Porto - Lou has had lengthy discussions with her solicitor & is doing what they both feel is right for the moment, I'm sure they'll go full steam ahead when the time is right.

Don't forget not all the facts are at our disposal for consideration for obvious reasons.

You may find it amazing & irritating that many of us on here joke with Lou & that the conversation gets wonderfully witty a tad silly at times but that's the cue we have taken from Lou.

She obviously has a wonderfully wicked SOH despite her awful predicament & I think if she can find light relief on here as well as support & wise words then it's all to the good!

That's true Porto. I hadn't thought of that. This is why it's so great that all sorts of people post all sorts of different advice. I'm pretty sure Lou's solicitor has all this in hand or that it is all in the pipeline. Don't forget that Lou only met with her yesterday. I only have experience with solicitors in a conveyancing context & had to light fucking rockets under mine to get anything done so I'm impressed that Lou's managed to get a letter drafted,edited,typed up & sent today.

Although,thinking back...didn't Lou talk to the utility suppliers who said that although the address to which bills would be sent had been changed nothing else had been but that if anything did they would be in touch. I know they may not be terribly reliable,but just trying to establish that Lou has covered the bases that she has been able to thus far.

Oh Lou

You will never get you head around why he did these things to you but as a coping mechanism it's better accept that he did it simply because he could. I know that's an old saying but truly if you could re-live every minute of every hour would it change anything? NO because he cared more about himself than he ever did about you.

Just think how far you have come in such a short time, what he wanted was wailing Lou that would beg him to come back and forgive him for anything. I'm so glad you are wise enough to not play that game and dance to his tune.

Onwards and upwards Lou ..... I hope you sleep well x

Does anyone else sometimes feel like were talking about someone whilst they are in the room?

Feels a bit weird!!! prob just me though!!

Have a good nights sleep tonight and enjoy your BBQ

Yeah,I often think Lou must come on in the morning thinking "wow so many new replies,let's see how much great advice there is for me" & be dismayed to find it's a lot of hypotheticals. Sorry Lou.

Not sure about the meter readings, but i'm sure the meter key will be gone. Might be an idea to ring up for a new one before you need it Lou.

I hope you manage to enjoy the bank holiday, and at least not have any more of his dramas to deal with.

Porto is absolutely right. The man is an idiot, Lou doesn't want to be with him, there is absolutely no reason to delay filing for divorce.

Also, meter key? What is a meter key? Do you mean the prepay things? I imagine there won't be one of those, given that Lou and her ex seem to be fairly well off.

the key to open the box to read the meter

Bossy - I know Lou is having a lovely time joking about stuff and gets great suppirt from these threads. All I have EVER done is talk about the quality of advice she is getting. So now the the solicitor has written a letter - which counts for shit legally speaking. And I am advising that she sorts her utilities out. And again I get grief for giving proper advice.

we're

rise above it Porto. You have given good advice,don't get drawn into repeating yourself all night - it's down in black & white for Lou to take notes on. You don't need to defend yourself.

I think porto has given some good advice. Having seen 2 members of my immediate family go through protracted court battles and divorce, which caused no end of frustration and hurt, a quick divorce based on adultery seems like an option that should be considered.

I think the solicitor might have been testing the water with the first letter, his counter will tell them a lot about how to proceed? I'm just guessing though.

Porto, what tucking said!

tucking - I think Lou is WAY cleverer than most of her supporters. That is why I get so cross.

the key to open the box to read the meter

Um, I don't think that's normal. I've never had one of those (in about ten or fifteen homes as an adult).

Porto is talking perfect sense. If Lou isn't filing for divorce, I do have to ask why not. Is there a reason not to? It doesn't sound like Chutney Twunt will suddenly be worth taking back. Is there any other resolution to this, apart from divorce?

haber really? We've always had one!!

Maybe its a regional thing, i'm in Essex and we possibly need to protect our meters!!!!