I'm quite happy with a jar of Branstons

[LouP19]

Morning all.

Talking of Toast Toppers, he took 2 tins of that as well. Yes, really.

My pantry is now full of Heinz cheese ravioli and Tesco sausage and beans.

He can't pin anything on you as you haven't done anything. A letter from the solicitor means absolutely nothing. There is nothing legally binding there. Your solicitor can't MAKE him pay the mortgage - only the court can do that. If you really think it is irretrievably over, then you must go for divorce and sort the finances.

Much as you might like to drag this out for months, with a hefty bill for all involved, it would be much better to sort it now.Unless of course, you are thinking you might get back together. I have to say - you have said nothing to indicate that....

What proof do you have of the affair Lou?

Is it the admission he made in the pub?

Just wondering whether he might deny it all...

porto, why do you keep coming back to lou's thread?

yet again, you don't seem to be posting anything helpful

cake, the OW is pregnant (allegedly) - isn't that proof?

Sorry - do you mean I posted proper advice as opposed to talking about veggie sausages? I have posted proper and helpful advice, based on the circumstances. Is that not allowed?

I think its pretty helpful advice, to sort things out asap and take control.

Yes, although if nobody knows who she is and where she lives, how can that be proved?

My dad (when he divorced his ex) used her pg as proof of her infertility. Despite him beating seven shades out of her, he divorced her.

Porto - what are you saying? That LouP should be moving faster? Over the bank holiday weekend? Of course she just has to "sit and wait" - her solicitor is hardly going to be working tomorrow, is she?

I assume LouP meant "sit and wait" as in "can't do anything this weekend" rather than "sit and wait and see what happens for the next 5 years". I may be wrong, but she hasn't exactly given us a "sit and wait for 5 years" vibe this far, has she? :)

Ii have to say that I dont think Porto's recent advice has not been sensible. Lou may not want to or be able to take it, but I dont see anything offensive in what has been suggested.

bogeyface - I agree (and I think 'a slut on his character' is a very apt phrase!) I just can't get over the injustice of Lambzig being accused of non-existent adultery by that tosser and him getting away with it :(

Porto, I think the timing is complicated by LouP's pregnancy and her decision about what to do about that, when she makes it. I think it may be advantageous financially still to be married to the Chunt when the baby is born, if Lou decides to go that way. Although disadvantageous in other ways, such as automatic granting of PR. However, that's just from hazy memory, I'm sure LouP will clarify if she feels she can.

ommmward, I am not saying that Lou has to leap out and do things over the weekend. Just that her solicitor cannot do anything to protect her in "holding" position. That is is the truth - not me being a bitch or anything.

I don't see a financial advantage in being married. The baby, if there is one, is his or not his - the CSA will apply the same rules. Better to apply for divorce now and get a decent settlement.

Filing for divorce is a huge thing to get your head around doing, Lou will be finally admitting to herself that this is actually happening and putting the final nail in so to speak.

I suspect she probably has more than enough to come to terms with right now portofino, but you are right it would be the fastest way to get everything sorted out.

I'm not sure many of us would have the stability and strength if in her shoes to do that right now - she will get there though.

I totally agree cocksbollocks - what a name - but she can't sit there and do feck all. She needs to secure the roof over her head.

Delurking to say Lou is not doing 'feck all', she has appointed a solicitor, got them to write a letter to the ex, and is doing all she can to get her life back on track, including sorting out her house and health, and surrounding herself with loved ones. That's a great deal considering all she has been through.

Porto if offering sound advice,whether Lou chooses to follow it is her decision. There's no reason anyone shouldn't offer whatever kind of support they feel they can - whether that be humour or practical advice. If I were Lou I would be pleased to receive both.

Yes there is an awful lot to cope with and every last thing has been caused by the husband. It makes sense to come to terms with the fact he isn't the man Lou thought he was and the sooner she takes charge of her life, the better.

It would be utter madness to sit back and wait for him to make a move.

I agree with tucking and quicklook, lou has a lot of supporters, lurking and posting. We can all offer different things.

*is offering not "if offering" sorry.

I don't have the impression Lou is sitting back, doing "feck all" & waiting for him to make a move

she's progressing things faster than he is, apparently (esp considering he has still not given his present address)

But porto was saying that she doesn't have to wait. She can and should take the initiative. Such a shame about the first sol, itd be nice to have one that's more accessible than his, weekends etc.

Lou's solicitor may have advised her not to rush into the divorce procedure for all any of us know.

However, the Chunt does himself no favours by withholding his current address; he can't do this indefinitely and it looks as though he is hiding things and being deliberately uncooperative.

Delurking once again - I hope the support of MN is helping in a small way - I remember how alone I felt.

Lou - in a few years, it won't matter to anyone, no even you, what the grounds for divorce were or who was the wronged party.

If you want to get shot of him, and move on with your life, then I wouldn't get too hung up on how you achieve that - if he accuses you of unreasonable behaviour, then it'll be quicker and a lot less hassle to accept it as the grounds for divorce and move on - the people who matter know the truth and that's all that counts.

It won't make a jot of difference to any financial settlements, and it's not public record. I remember how important it was to me at the time that I divorced him for his behaviour. Less than three years on - i now realise that its just a formality.