I'm quite happy with a jar of Branstons

[LouP19]

Morning all.

Talking of Toast Toppers, he took 2 tins of that as well. Yes, really.

My pantry is now full of Heinz cheese ravioli and Tesco sausage and beans.

You didn't trust him enough? Priceless.
Glad to hear things are moving along and you feel good about your solicitor.
I'd like to be a fly on the wall when he receives the letter!

He is going to have some hiding of your sol letters from ow is my guess.

The letters will be unpleasant but try to think of it as yet more of his bollocks and detach. It is a process and you need to keep eyes on whatever it is you and sol decide want out of it with the expectation that he will resist - he isn't going to admit fault and I suspect the reality of two families will bite hard. Particularly as I suspect in dividing cash and assets (if you do keep baby) you are likely to get a slight preference Which will go hard with ow.

She will get preference no doubt. The ow and her child had nothing to do with op at all.

She will get 5% less child maintenance that's all. The assets, his pensions, spousal support. Have nothing to do with ow and her child at all.

He's really fucked himself.

If you do get the solicitors letter with a whole lot of Chutneyworld nonsense/hard line assertions in it, just remember this is the man who said you didn't trust him enough as the first complaint against you. This is the level of his thinking.

Good to hear to sounding even stronger Lou.

"the gift that keeps on giving" should SO be your next thread title!

I like this thread title too- good work Saggy

How about "cat food and pickles - the gift that keeps on giving"

Hi Lou,

I've just spent the afternoon going through all your posts over these several threads. I also remembering reading one of yours about being unreasonable to expect him to call you more when he was away.

I don't really know what to say to you except this is just an awful, awful situation you find yourself in. Just wanted to add my support to you and say simply, respect! You're dealing with this amazingly. No one can advise you on the big decisions in life but all you can do is be true to yourself and do what is right for YOU. Bless you x

You do have to brace yourself for a nasty response. I described my ex H behaviour in a post above and remember getting an absolute scorcher from his solicitor saying that I had no grounds to divorce for unreasonable behaviour or adultery and making all sorts of allegations about me.

Its just words though, you need to tell yourself that and also that you know the facts. I am afraid I was way too chicken, got intimidated (and badly advised by my frankly rubbish solicitor who dismissed his other woman and evidence of his behaviour as irrelevant to the divorce, god I was naieve) and didn't contest ex-H divorcing me for adultery with unknown third party, even though I had done nothing with anyone. Its my one regret.

Jesus Christ, Lampzig, that truly is dreadful :( Of course it doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things but I think it shows how desperate you were that you let him get away with such an enormous slur on your character rather than fight him on the facts. Your solicitor wants shooting.

I would disagree with you Tribpot that it is a slur on Lambzig's character. A man who is having an affair but is so desperate to re-write history that he divorces her for adultery was always going to fightn and therefore ramp up the costs. Atleast this way she has a permanent reminder of what a shit head he is. It is a slut on his character, not hers.

What a fucker though!

slur! Although slut would probably fit too, given his affair!

Lou do you still have " the list " ? .

If you do , please give it to your solicitor . She/ he will be able to use that as evidence , along with the Ow name if you can find out what it is .

Facebook is great for finding out stuff . ..but get a friend to do it for you , so you don't get upset by what's on there , or incase they have the " who's visited my wall tracker thingy "

If you've got a landline number for him , there's a reverse phone book online where you punch in the number and it gives you the address . Bingo !

There is also a track my mobile thing you might be able to use to find the location of your BH , not entirely sure how that works , but you might get lucky with that . (track a partner has a free online one ) .

With a bit of luck you'll find BH has left a trail like the slug he is .

You are right to take note of the cunning, Lou. You can expect more of the same as time goes on.

You are also right to expect all sorts of untrue and insulting nonsense from him and his sol by way of reply, sadly.

Well got home today to find a couple of chunky envelopes on the floor and my heart skipped a beat. But luckily nothing today,....

I hate living like this. It is so UNFAIR. I did nothing wrong. Obviously a few on here are spotting me from previous posts (I posted about him pushing me out the car incident last year, and I also posted a few weeks ago because I was upset he was going away with 'work' and not contacting me). All throughout this I've been hurt and baffled by his behaviour. So how on earth he's going to pin any of this on me, well,.... I have no idea. I'm an honest person, I don't get why anyone would try to be SO dishonest just to maintain their non existent reputation.

I suppose all I can do is sit and wait. Thing is, if he claims the marriage was irretrievably broken before he met the woman, I'd like to know how he explains the several fertility clinic appointments him and I attended from March onwards. What on earth was that about? And the three good holidays we had between Christmas and him leaving? Were they just imagined?

I'm rambling again. Thanks everyone for your comments, I appreciate them all. . I'm going to go to bed now as I'm knackered, with the Forest game on the radio. I used to listen to it with him, but need to keep these habits as mine.

Night night xx

Hope you are ok loup. You are v strong. Hang in there.

awww bless you.... I wish I could help more!

Why do you have to wait? Just instruct your solicitor to go for divorce on grounds of adultary or unreasonable behaviour. You HAVE the grounds. Quickest way to sort the finances out too. Why do you want to hold off?

Night Night Lou xxx

You don't HAVE to sit and wait at all.

You could call your sol tomorrow.

Lou,I'd love to say I'm sure he can't pin anything on you but as I have no legal knowledge I can't do that. However,you have the moral high ground because he is the fuckwit & you aren't. I should think that if he has the balls to try & claim your marriage was over before he moved out lock,stock & chutney you would be entitled to provide evidence of continued attendance at the fertility appointments,plus of course your pregnancy. Just exactly how.would he explain that?!

Anyway,this is all second guessing at the moment. I hope that you will have a relaxing weekend,enjoy the BBQ (my personal thoughts are that you shouldn't necessarily tell every soul there what he has done,maybe the couple you are going with will be able to do the telling for you. If you aren't drawn into it,once again you maintain the moral high ground. However,i could be wrong - it has been known )

I for one am looking forward to hearing how you get on at the BBQ,even if you only go for an hour or so,it'll be good to meet some new people & diversify your diet a bit!!

Agree with Porto, you have proof of his affair just instruct your solicitor that you want to divorce him.
It's much better for you to be proactive, take control and get rid off him.

And, of course, sleep well!

Jeez LouP You get better every day.

A strong, confident veggie who likes football!!

does it get much better?