His mother should've swallowed

[LouP19]

Is this title too rude?!!!

I appreciate everyone warning caution. Trust me, I'm using this place to rant and rave and swear and all that,... at the moment I haven't done anything. And even if I do manage to locate him (with some first class help!) I might not necessarily do anything with that information just yet. But I would just like to know, that's all, instead of driving round looking for his car all the time,.... Just this knowledge will make me feel a bit more empowered.

All advice on here is very helpful - the calm, the practical, the hysterical, the funny, the 'been there done that', it's all amazing and I value all of it.

oh honey, can you change your number so you don't get these bombshells every time he deigns to text? You just don't need this. He needs to get pushed out into outer darkness to the very fringes of your life.

it will drive him nuts but he can fuck off to the far side etc - but that's not the main point. YOu need to keep steady and not have his missives invading your life with their headfuck weirdness.

and ask the hospital not to give out the new date of the scan to anyone, not even your HUSBAND.

Can just imagine him phoning and saying 'my wife and i have rebooked our scan and forgotten to write down date...'

HE IS A WORRIED MAN ISN'T HE?

Agree 100% with juneau. For you to decide not to have the baby is one thing -for him to pressurise you into a termination is quite another. You musn't let him do it. Now you know for sure that he read your post. I could scream.

I don't really have anything very useful to add, but just stay strong, change the locks to stop him coming in and helping himself to anything not nailed down and ignore the texts from the massive cockhead. You are doing brilliantly.

I wonder how much cheese and chutney and other little treats for himself he'd be able to afford if he has TWO families to support?

I would say just go to the scan with your friend. He cannot attend the scan without your permission. Keep a cool head and stay strong.

Ignore, ignore, ignore!!!

I second what everyone else is saying here. Ignore him. See if you can change the scan date. If you can't then please go with a friend, not in your car, or get a taxi. Tell the hospital/scan dept that it is only you and (named) friend. Nobody else is to come in.

Hope you're able to keep cool (literally in this weather) and strong.

Morning lou love the new title! Definitely ignore the texts. Re. Your scan either change the time or take one of your parents with you so that they can make sure he doesn't get near you. He has NO right to see you, or be at the scan. He gave away that right when he became a chutney stealing chunt.

You should explain the situation to the scan front desk, they should be able to sit you in a different room so he can't see you and they'll then know not to give any details of you out regardless of whether the asker knows your name / details etc.

Good luck with Mr&Mrs BabylonPI tonight, hopefully you'll have an address so you can wipe his slimey chutney smirk off his face with a direct solicitors letter!

Can you keep a diary of his contact? Emails, texts, "visits", etc. a log may prove very useful for your solicitor.

His sense of entitlement is truly astounding, changing the scan date as everyone here is advising and keeping him out of the house should put him on the back foot. Twat!

Oh Lou, just ignore him. Did / can you change your scan appointment? Otherwise just tell the hospital you don't want him in there (tbh changing would probably be easier, then you know you won't see him loitering).

Morning Lou

As soon as I saw the title I knew it would be you. Im glad that you can retain your sense of humour, despite all the chutneytwunt throws at you.

ive still got that killercat and attack dog here just say the word

Regardless of whether or not you change your scan date/time, you need to call the hospital now and ask them to put on your notes that they should only speak to you or your parents - give a password if necessary. I'm sure they gave similar situations to deal with all the time do I'm sure they gave protection procedures in place.

Oh wow! I am so stocking up on tinned beans ad sausages next time I'm in Tesco :)

My ex also took a ton of my DVDs and CDs, 9 years later I still realise that certain ones are missing.

Wants to be at the scan?! What the ACTUAL Fuck! Honestly his sense of entitlement astounds me.

If you can't change the appointment, I'd do as others have suggested re going with a friend/parents, using different transport and asking the hospital to keep him away.

TBH I would probably also send him a text saying "You are not welcome at the scan - at this stage until I have made a decision regarding the pregnancy, it has nothing to do with you. If you do turn up tomorrow I will be taking immediate steps to acquire a restraining order against you."

He wants you to terminate the preganacy as it is not convenient... But he wants to go to the scan.
He is probably at best trying to talk you into termination and at worse hoping it is not a viable pregnancy.
whatever his reasons he has forfeited the right to attend. Do not reply and either change your scan time (difficult to do) or take someone with you for support when he tries to pressurise you into letting him into the scan.
I hope you are keeping all these text messages to give to the OW at the "right" time.
Hope you are busy with the locksmith right now

Sorry, Delurking again in a state of gobsmackedness at the sheer nerve of the man. Does he not realise that he lost any right to be a part of this pregnancy when he decamped chutney, bucket and all? What is his motivation? Actually who cares, it's not about him. No is a complete sentence and I think a useful one on this ocassion.

Think Juneau and Doha are spot on. I would ring hospital to warn them about chutney (this will not be first or last call sadly they will have from a pregnant women whose baby has a twat as a father). I wouldn't change scan as it may be a while til you get another and i think (tough as it is with all this going on) the scan is going to be a part of you deciding what to do next.