His mother should've swallowed

[LouP19]

Is this title too rude?!!!

I appreciate everyone warning caution. Trust me, I'm using this place to rant and rave and swear and all that,... at the moment I haven't done anything. And even if I do manage to locate him (with some first class help!) I might not necessarily do anything with that information just yet. But I would just like to know, that's all, instead of driving round looking for his car all the time,.... Just this knowledge will make me feel a bit more empowered.

All advice on here is very helpful - the calm, the practical, the hysterical, the funny, the 'been there done that', it's all amazing and I value all of it.

Insulting myself am I?

I'd start with the fertility clinic, but don't discount the GP completely.

Its worth making an appointment and really stressing to him/her the urgency of your need. My GP is absolute crap, but does tend to leap into action when faced with a crying patient.

If you get no joy, try Marie Stopes, BPAS, Mind etc until you find a councellor.

I am sure that you will find someone. xx

och I so know what you mean about wanting him on board at a time of crisis/decision/vulnerability - aside from the fact that he has done these heinous things to you. YOu were husband and wife a blink of an eye ago, now this. This is precisely what you would have shared - indeed, were gearing up to share what should have been good news. I'm so sorry you have not been able to celebrate what you have long hoped for.

my ex was a nightmare on stilts with banners and fireworks but when our boy was in hospital having a heart op, I was so glad to see his dad there. NOt him, so much, but somebody, somebody involved... not sure I'm explaining it very well. fyi he was a total shit and flirted with the nurses, stretched out on ds's bed like he was on holiday while ds was in theatre. anyways, you get my point.

thinking of you at this very vulnerable time. from what others are saying, you should be able to get counselling pretty quickly. It's all moving at such a pace and I hope you get your mojo back after today's challenges. I can't think that rage is too far under the surface and I hope it pops back up soon to power you through xx

year or two - duh!

Porto I would politely suggest that you stop and think before you assume anything like your previous post implies.

Chutneyfuck has had his own agenda and paddled his own canoe from day one. I really don't think engaging with him at this point will be productive for you Lou. In fact I'd put money on him (yet again) pushing his own agenda on you.
But, having said all that - this is your choice and only you can decide what steps to take next. Please please please take a witness friend with you IF you decide to meet him.

Sorry you've came away let down Lou.
I hope you manage to get the support you need quickly so that you're not forced to make a decision due to the time factor.
Samaritans may be able to help with information??
take care xxxx

Mysteriouslady, I'm not even going to dignify that comment with a response!

Because thsi thread is about support and advice, and I don't want to derail.

Mysteriouslady, I'm not even going to dignify that comment with a response!

Because thsi thread is about support and advice, and I don't want to derail.

Shirley no it isn't but Rape Crisis may be able to sign post to a more appropriate agency - if Lou could get through to them.

I can't imagine a fertility clinic has much experience of this situation.

I am implying that no rape took place here. End of. It is misguided to even go there.

lissie what are you on about? I know exactly what it feels like to be raped - within the context of a relationship.

I also know exactly what it feels like to find out you are pregnant with a baby that you have wanted and planned - only for the bastard to turn around and pressure you into an abortion that you don't want.

I also know what the aftermath of that decision feels like.

So if I think - based on my own personal experience - that I can see comparisons between the 3 - then I am perfectly entitled to that view.

Been looking for you!! No Chutney or sponge hehe

Go Lou! I have been following and thinking of you. Hope it went well today x

I don't think math meant that she thought Lou had been raped. I think she was just wondering whether it might be a way of getting referred to an organisation who can provide counselling.

I do agree that it wouldn't be the best idea though, particularly given the lack of funding for rape crisis as it is.

I am absolutely positive that Lou will be able to find someone via one of the many other suggestions given. :)

Hi Lou - don't know what to say after today. I hope you are managing to have a peaceful evening as much as is possible under the circumstances.

I don't know if these people would be worth contacting if you have trouble finding counselling elsewhere. I realise your pregnancy wasn't unplanned as such but I would think it might be worth a try.

They are perhaps less well known than some of the other services mentioned and thus may be in a better position to help you out sooner rather than later.

Erm. Ok mysterious, Lou could try and get through to all different sorts of agencies in order to access the care she needs. Rape crisis is massively underfunded and struggles to deal with the calls it receives from rape victims.

Can you just stop now please? It's inappropriate.

Lou was not raped though.

Being raped is not the same as being pregnant by a cunt.

A fertility clinic has lots of experience of marriage breakdown during treatment/they are far more equipped to deal with this, and would be a relevant place, rather than taking resources from others who need it.

And that's all I'm saying on the matter

Porto I didn't say it had - I said I could imagine the Op felt violated.

But that's just nit picking and word games.

The Samaritans are a wonderful organisation too. I believe that you can arrange to see someone face-to-face through them also.

mysterious - but that was YOUR experience. Not Lou's It is totally wrong to bring up rape here unless that comes from Lou. I feel totallly for you, but too many people are extrapolating on this thread. Please let's stick to the facts.

I did not say Lou had been raped - I said I could imagine similar feelings. In fact I could have left out imagine and substitute I know.

I think Samaritans would be more appropriate than rc for help with the counselling tbh.

Argh, sorry, this should have been sent a couple of pages back before you updated, Lou. I'm so sorry that the bean is there in such unhappy circumstances.
Not that I want to sway you either way, but single parenthood doesn't have to be the end of the world and it is still a family, just a different shaped one.
Whatever you decide, we'll all be here to support you. (((Hugs)))

All this stems from me commenting that rape crisis may be able to help.

I dont need anyone to be sorry - everything I have been through happened for a reason - it led me to DH and gave me the strength I need to get through life now.