Haha how funny that my first ever post on Mumsnet should be about this subject.
The best definition of extraverts/introverts I've seen is about the different ways in which we gain/lose energy. Extraverts become more energised by being with, and interacting with, other people. Introverts are the opposite. Social interaction drains us of energy, and we get to a point (at a party, say) where it all becomes too much and we have to leave.
I spent many years being "the extravert" in my family (everyone else being most definitely introverted) - I think it was as a result of that sibling thing where you and your sister somehow feel that the roles you play, your characteristics and the things you are interested in have to be different. So one of you is the pretty one, the other is the clever one, one is the loud one, the other is the quiet one, and so on.
I didn't realise for years and years that my sociable, outgoing, out-there persona wasn't exactly me - and that for a lot of the time I was faking it. I ended up being a teacher which, for me, was probably one of the worst jobs I could have chosen. I was teaching 5-8 year-olds and the level of social interaction I had to do every day was enormous. It was like I was performing on stage for 6 hours a day, and it completely exhausted me. Each day I'd get home and I'd literally be unable to even speak to my flatmates because I was so drained of energy. I was a teacher for 3 years, and by the time I left to go travelling I had almost lost myself entirely.
It was a few years after that, that I started reading about personality types (I did the Myers-Briggs test for work at some point) and realised that, according to that test anyway, I was most definitely an introvert. Once I figured that out, an awful lot of things about my life just seemed to fall into place, and I understood myself a lot better.
These days I'm self-employed doing a geeky job I love, and I do a lot of work from home, which is just brilliant. I need that solitary space in order to think, and in order to concentrate on and do my work well. When I'm "in the zone" working, hours can pass without me realising - and this, I think, is one of the wonderful things about introverts. We can do creative, logical, detailed, BRILLIANT work because we are able to focus and concentrate and get in the zone and get heaps done. Yay for us!
I know that my iPod and my headphones are most definitely my friends when I'm doing contract work for clients in their offices. I find it horribly difficult to concentrate with other people around me in an open-plan office, all chatting and moving around and interrupting me - so at least if I have my headphones on I can block them out and - hopefully - they can see that I'm concentrating and would rather not be disturbed.
I'm not shy - I'm good at public speaking, I generally gravitate towards taking leadership in a group (oddly enough), but when we're actually doing work in a group, I most definitely need to go off by myself and think/work through things alone - once we've worked out together who's going to be responsible for what.
At parties I find pacing myself is the way to go. I generally don't even go to parties unless I know I'm going to know a lot of people there - I just can't bear the smalltalk thing with people I don't know. For those parties I do go to, I generally arrive early so that I can settle myself into the environment and just talk to the few people that are also there early - I dread turning up to a party that's in full swing and having to somehow shoehorn myself into whatever's happening.
I'm another one who uses the "fag break" as a time-out mechanism. I can last quite a bit longer at a party if I've been able to have breaks outside for a quiet smoke at various intervals. I also now recognise the moment when I've had enough. Rather than trying to stick it out and carry on (and be miserable/uncomfortable/wishing I was anywhere but here) I acknowledge that I've reached saturation point, and I leave. Simple.
Yay. It's nice to have a chat with other introverts. We do live in an extravert-focused world, but it most definitely doesn't mean that we should re-arrange ourselves in order to fit in. Quite the opposite in fact.
Two nice quotes to finish:
"Introverts are like a rechargeable battery. They need to stop expending energy and rest in order to recharge. Extroverts are like solar panels that need the sun to recharge. Extroverts need to be out and about to refuel." Marti Olsen Laney
"Depending on which bit of research you accept, the proportion of introverts to extroverts in the general population has been estimated as: about 25%; or, just under 50%; or, "a minority in the regular population but a majority in the gifted population." Heh. I like that last one." Me, in a blog post I wrote about being an introvert :)