To stop making my OH an evening meal even though he works 60hour weeks and I'm a SAHM ?

[ladywithnomanors]

I don't think I am.
I'm a SAHM to a 2, 4 and 6 yo DC's. He often works 60 hour weeks and sometimes 7 days a week. I do everything in the house and with the DC's - except he cuts the back lawn and occasionally puts the bins out.
I cook him a meal every night for when he gets home from work - often a different meal to what I cook for the DC's as he doesn't consider pasta, jacket potatoes, shepherd's pie to be a proper meal ie. it doesn't consist of a huge chunk of meat.
Whatever I serve up he criticises it. I made a curry it was 'flavourless' even though he specified which curry powder to use. I make a roast chicken and it's 'dry' or the potatoes are hard. Apparently my rice is mushy and my meat 'overcooked'. He comes in at night, waliks into the kitchen and wrinkles his nose at the pans bubbling on the stove, ' Mmm what delights do we have tonight??' he says in a sarcastic tone.

Ok I'm not the worlds best cook but I'm not the worst either and I do try. He says I don't as I'm not serving up Masterchef cuisine every night. He very occasionally will say he enjoyed something.

This morning I mentioned that we had sausages in the fridge and so would do the DC's sausage, mash and veg for tea and did he want some making. He response was that he didn't as he used to like sausages until I made them for him and now the thought of them make him retch. I told him that if that was his attitude then I wasn't going to cook for him anymore as he was ungrateful and picky.
I should point out that he is a fantastic cook but hardly cooks as he works so much.

So AIBU to stop cooking and just let him fend for himself and get his own tea when he gets in from work?

Get a load of ready meals...

Nagoo - I don't think my cooking is that bad at all. My DC's eat it. Ok I'm not adventurous but I can make a roast dinner, spag bol, shepherds pie etc. I honestly don't have the time to be poring over recipe books and cooking masterpieces.

He sounds rude and nasty.

In your position I would cook for my DH, because it's a nice thing to do and he would be grateful.

Since your DH is not grateful, he is demanding and unappreciative I would stop cooking for him. With immediate effect.

I cook for DP because I enjoy it rather than how we share the workload, but if he reacted like your DP I wouldn't bother. Does he want you to cook for him?

Does he do anything with the dcs when he is not at work, or is that all down to you? Do you have any time to yourself when you are not looking after the children/ house?

i'd have thrown the food at him by now, in my house you either eat what youre given or make your own if you can do better

Good Grief! YANBU, I'm surprised you've carried on for this long.

I don't care how many hours he works he shouldn't speak to you in that way - he sounds like an arse and I would certainly stop cooking for him. Is he highly critical in other aspects too?

what is it with bloody men and food, i have tried to tell my other half we eat to live not live to eat, as long as its edible eat the bugger or shut the f##k up.

I'd tell him to fuck off and sort out his own dinner

Ungreatful bastard

I'm not the greatest cook, I try and am happy to go into the kitchen pretty much every night and make a meal for us. I'm happy to get constructive criticism, but honestly if every single night I'm getting bitched at for not being good enough when I'm trying my hardest I'd just stop. If it's good enough for you and the kids then it's good enough for him, and I'd give him leftovers. He wants something special he can make it himself on his nights off. It's nothing to do with how hard you work or he works, your doing something nice for him in making a special meal and he's being a dick. My DP used to work 60+ hour weeks on nights, I'd save him a portion of whatever I made myself for dinner the night before for him to heat up when he got in. He was happy with that because he was happy that all he had to do was press go on the microwave when he got in.

YANBU to stop cooking for him - you also are working very long hours, 7 days a week.

Clearly he doesn't like your food - leave him to sort himself out.

He's critical of me in general anyway - but then I suppose you all probably guessed that.

Also if DP does criticise the food it's usually because I ask how it is, and even then it tends to be things like, "bit dry compared to last time," never sarcastic or downright rude, so YADNBU!

YADNBU.

I would stop cooking him special food. Make him a portion of what you and the DCs are having, if he doesn't like it, he can lump it.

He sounds rude, arrogant and disrespectful.

I hope he doesn't treat you like this in other areas of your life, OP.

YANBU

He is being a spoilt child so, treat him like one.

Make whatever you are cooking DC, one meal for everyone. When he gets home ask 'are you hungry', if he says yes say 'There's X in the oven/microwave, if you don't fancy that then I'm sure YOU can rustle something up from what's in the fridge' and walk away. Repeat daily.

cooking delights for you to sample

... which I expect you to greet with "This tastes a bit off, are you sure the meat wasn't off?"

Thought so . Looks like there are bigger issues to deal with OP. do you feel you can sit down for what sounds like an overdue discussion or is it a case of "been there done that"?

It doesn't sound a particularly nice relationship if that's the way he talks to you - meal, or no meal. He's belittling and undermining you and that's the issue, not the food, IMO.

Are you happy in the relationship the rest of the time? Or is this typical of the way he treats you?

He doesn't sound very appreciative. I have always just cooked one meal and my husband usually reheats it when he gets in. If he works such long hours it means you really don't have the time to be faffing about with extra meals especially as he moans about it anyway. Just leave extra of whatever you have cooked and if he doesn't like it he will have to make other arrangements. You are not a servant. Once the kids are in bed you deserve a rest not to be then cooking for him.

Leave the bastard an empty plate and directions to the fridge

You have enough weans to look after, you don't need a man-shaped one as well.

This sounds like bullying to me. So sorry.

'He's critical of me in general anyway'

What you were saying is the story of one of my relatives lives. She was married for over 50 years and there was never a meal she could make right for him. Not once. Things were 'raw' or 'burnt' there was never enough meat and what there was always got 'the butcher must have seen you coming.' He was a very unpleasant man.

Sorry he sounds like a bully to me!!
What is he like usually OP?
I would just make you and DC dinner.
I would not cook for such a critical person. YADNBU

OhCobblers - I have pulled him up on the way he speaks to me/ treats me before but he brushes it off and says I'm too touchy.
This weekend was a classic example - in two days he managed to offend me by implying I was perving over some of the black sportmen in the olympics purely because I had a dalliance with an african 12 years ago, told me I had a big chin/ forehead, repeatedly told me I was wierd, introduced me to his brother as 'FATima' oh so many i can't write them all down .