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Original poster

Chutney Twunt pt 3

999 replies

LouP19 · 14/08/2012 16:39

Back again, is this a record? How many threads can this bastard have? You are all keeping me going this afternoon - you and friends on email and friends on text. It's keeping me angry which is good.

OP posts:
grumpykat · 15/08/2012 10:07

Hi Lou, I went camping for a few days and I've just caught up with your thread(s).
I am not one for speechlessness, but I'm honestly at a loss for words. If you want to go for a ranty coffee with a total stranger I don't live that far from you and I'll do the driving.
Stupid, stupid, entitled, nasty, lying, toadlike, cruel, deceitful, cockfacedbastardCUNT.

mischiefmummy · 15/08/2012 10:10

Hi Lou,

I'm a long time lurker and have read all your previous threads.
You are doing an amazing job of holding yourself together and maintaining your dignity which will be vital when you look back on this time.
It goes without saying Chutnety is a complete bastard and you will thrive without him.

The cramps could be your womb stretching so don't give up hope just yet. Be very very kind to yourself, and cut yourself a little slack when you have a wobble it's only understandable and you really need to put yourself (and your babe) first!

BelieveInPink · 15/08/2012 10:13

I know this is breaking every rule in the book and you "shouldn't" do it, but I would have a very very strong urge to put her in the picture. I don't know if that would affect the legal situation but my God I would want her to know the full story. Wouldn't feel so proud of herself and her new pregnancy then would she.

UnlikelyAmazonian · 15/08/2012 10:17

Divorce. He pays costs. Have baby. Nice life. Twunt out of picture.

Pickles77 · 15/08/2012 10:17

I have a strong feeling this OW might be a poor innocent party in this.

UnlikelyAmazonian · 15/08/2012 10:18

actually forget money isasue.

Divorce. Have baby. not in that order.

BelieveInPink · 15/08/2012 10:19

Lou, is it possible he's told her he's young, free and single and always has been?

ItWentThatWay · 15/08/2012 10:20

I would tell OW for two reasons: 1) So the full extent of chutney cunt's twatery is exposed and 2) because why should Lou be the only one dealing with the fallout of this mentally retarded compulsive liar? He may be an academic but he really is a bit thick the nob.

Longtalljosie · 15/08/2012 10:26

Lou - the cramps are likely to be your uterus expanding. It feels a lot like period pain. How does the thought of a miscarriage make you feel though? I think that's an important thing to weigh up wrt your decision. If you're worried you might miscarry, it means you want to keep the baby. If you're hoping you might - well that says the reverse...

Rowanhart · 15/08/2012 10:28

Lou I think it is perfectly understandable that finding out OW is pregnant is solidifying your feelings about your baby. It must feel like she is having your life, particularly if you don't have the baby. These feelings are natural.

That doesn't mean your desire to keep baby is simply about revenge. It is also about love. Because its clear Lou that you are a lovely loving person.bas such I know that you will meet someone with or without baby. It's inevitable another man will want you.

lagartija · 15/08/2012 10:29

I had quite bad cramps on and off at that stage with my first. It's not necessarily anything untoward...the uterus stretches at this stage, which can feel like cramps. Even some bleeding isn't necessarily indicative of miscarriage....some people bleed when they would have had their period, i.e at 8 weeks, 12, 16 etc.
Are you managing to eat and are you taking folic acid. Tiredness is very common in early pg (I felt like I'd been hit by a bus) and all of this must be taking it out of you. Hope you have an OK day at work, it's good your boss is understanding.
xx

3kidsand4cats · 15/08/2012 10:33

smiling at unlikely amazon, who has said so succinctly exactly what i was trying to say.

3kidsand4cats · 15/08/2012 10:35

also, about the cramps, they can be normal and nothing to worry about. but i think you said on an earlier thread that you are taking ads? i might be wrong, but i would get drs advice about whether you should be on these in pregnancy, just to reassure you.

ItWentThatWay · 15/08/2012 10:35

Agree with above. I had cramping and bleeding at 12 weeks with my third baby who is now a teenager

Ruprekt · 15/08/2012 10:42

Ugh! What an absolute git!

Stay strong Lou. WE are all here for you .

mistlethrush · 15/08/2012 10:45

Just caught up - can't believe that he's even worse than we thought. Keep strong Lou

unhappyhildebrand · 15/08/2012 10:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Allalonenow · 15/08/2012 11:13

Hello Lou,
sorry to hear that you are having problems sleeping, but it's no wonder really, as your mind must be in turmoil. When I can't sleep, quite a frequent thing lately, I go through mental alphabetical lists of things like place names, plant names, books I've read. It usually works as it blocks out other thoughts.

Do try to rest as much as you can, do you have some holiday due from work that you could perhaps take? You seem to have been living in the middle of a hurricane for weeks now, so be gentle with yourself.

Hope you got some treats for yourself when you went shopping, chocolate is essential in stressful times!

saffronwblue · 15/08/2012 11:27

Hang in there Lou. You are brave and strong. I hate Chutneytwunt- I really do. It must be very hard for you to look back and realise the scale of the lies and betrayal.
You are in my thoughts.

springydaffs · 15/08/2012 11:31

it's not often I cry at threads on here, but I did when I read your latest, Lou.

YOur body is seeing to your needs re eggs, beans; and your mind is too re anger, which is coming in spades. You're well-loved on here, as well as in real life. You are rich indeed.

I wonder if he was leading a double life (trips half the time for 'work') which is how he could move his stuff out lock stock - from his 'flat'. He's not even human, is he? He's encouraging you to abort a much-wanted pg, because it doesn't fit in with his plans - how calculating and cold is that? The OW is an unknown quantity for now - she could be a cow, she could not - but he certainly set the scene, didn't he: I wonder if she had any idea he was still living with you (much less ttc). He probably told her he was off half the time for 'work' too. I really wouldn't focus too much on her iiwy. I do suspect he is the villain across the board.

btw please don't fall for that breakdown/midlife crisis shit. He'll probably pull that out of the bag at some stage as his intricate deceit falls around his ears and buries him - don't believe him. It's hard not to but there are some individuals around who aren't wired right, something is missing. something essential isn't there.

have you copied your threads btw? it's good to have them for later times as you come to terms with all this. It brings a much-needed clarity. I've been embroiled with individuals like this and years later the clarity is still coming in dribs and drabs. Not that you care any more after time...

Keep going, you're made of strong stuff, that's clear. It will be the making of you, that's clear too. Try to trust that at each stage you'll know what to do - legal, baby etc.

StuntGirl · 15/08/2012 12:09

Morning Lou.

I hope your day at work isn't too rough on you after so little sleep. Your boss and colleagues sound lovely and supportive though so that's one small blessing.

I would assume, until proven otherwise, that the OW is another innocent party in this. If he's capable of decieving you - and his family by the sounds of it - the way he has then he's capable of doing it to others. I've known similar people, the lying just comes second nature to them. Try and direct your anger towards him, although that's easier said than done I know!

Keep it up Lou, you're doing fab. xx

moomoo1967 · 15/08/2012 12:11

Yay found you all Smile I shall try and catch up

garlicnuts · 15/08/2012 12:31

Very good post by 3kidsand4cats today at 09:33, imo.

I hope being at work has proved helpful, Lou. I'm sure it's a strain and you must be knackered beyond belief - also that being around your nice co-workers, and having other things to think about, may have given your brain a bit of a rest!

All good wishes, as ever.

MmeDefarge · 15/08/2012 12:55

Hi Lou, Delurking to offer some support and to say that you can certainly trust yourself to know what to do at each stage. You?re head and heart are spinning with the shock of all this but somewhere in there is a very solid and grounded core which knows exactly what is what.
Have faith that you will make the right decision for you and your life.
An extremely wise and very respected woman said this on your first thread:

LouP19 Fri 03-Aug-12 15:55:20 : "Someone or something has forced his hand. Either an affair at work and someone is going to blow the whistle, or a pregnancy. [.....] this for him would be the ultimate 'sin' against me,.... not really that he's been having an affair, but that they're pregnant (almost as if the first bit is ok, but the second bit makes it a bit more difficult)."

fhdl34 · 15/08/2012 13:29

Lou, re the cramps. I think it's quite normal to have cramping at this stage, we were TTC for 4yrs before getting pregnant and practically the whole first term, I expected blood when I went to the loo and I did have some mild spotting. It's not surprising with all the stress you're under as well. I am in awe of you and your strength.