Chutney Twunt pt 3

[LouP19]

Back again, is this a record? How many threads can this bastard have? You are all keeping me going this afternoon - you and friends on email and friends on text. It's keeping me angry which is good.

Lou -- I wouldn't put it past him to have gone for his free 30 minutes to all three prominent sols in your area just to spite you. I could be wrong of course..

You can only expect more hurtful comments from his parents unfortunately. He is their son after all. Expect your parents to be extremely hurt by this. The indecency of it all will really hit home for them when they see his parents doing the same thing he does and when some of it is directed at them.

x post there with Sadwidow wrt free half hour X 3...

I think some of the long-term MNetters are about to award chutneytwunt the "Lifelong Award". He is beyond comprehension!

I like Blackcurrant's advice about the alarm very much.

I think he may be trying to get you to change locks, which he is certain you can't do (unreasonable behaviour?), but there is nothing to stop you installing an alarm.

I also think you need to find out where he lives. I think you would feel a bit less powerless if you took that initiative.

Christ, what a knob. But do we really think he's bright enough to go around all the solicitors to block Lou's access? I don't think he's that far-sighted, is he? He sounds like he's too wrapped up in himself and his own actions and feelings.

Yes he is not stupid in the practical sense.

Stupid emotionally and functioning emotionally at the level of a 2-5 year old but not necessarily stupid in day to day matters -- he could pick a lock after all, and has most likely read post. He is cunning.

If that is the case would Lou be completely blocked from all of them (assuming he would only instruct 1)? Hasn't Lou already instructed? Doesn't that trump the freebee?

Apologies if I'm being completely naive her, no experience of this!

But do we really think he's bright enough to go around all the solicitors to block Lou's access? I don't think he's that far-sighted, is he?

He arranged a total house clearance for when she was at work, made sure he had legal advice re the house and has been through her paperwork (at the very least). Yes, I think he is that far-sighted and sneaky. Infact, I wouldnt be at all surprised to find websites that actively encourage this :(

Doesn't matter if he hasn't instructed a sol or just discussed his situation and his rights, responsibilities, etc. Once they have had the free half hour then they can't take on Lou as a client. It wouldn't cost him a penny to scupper her in this way.

Ah. What an utter twat (again).

Lou, you're fab and have so much support. Use it to give the bastard what he deserves.

If only he knew how reviled he is!

Lou, yet another delurker here. There are so many of us who are livid on your behalf and hoping so much Chutneytwunt gets his just desserts. Just wanted to add my voice to the army of women who think you're amazing xx

You will find another solicitor to represent you, who will be just as good, if not better! I have faith x

Lou it may seem like he is in control but really his world is built of Chutney sand and is slipping away. Non of this has gone how he scripted it. You know you are worth more than he could ever be, it is already evident to everyone here, your RL friends, your neighbours, your colleagues and your family. You have more power than you feel right now.

Lou re the Solicitors it occurs to me that maybe he has gone to all three as maybe he is asking the same questions and not getting the answers that he thinks he is entitled to in Chutneyland.

I have been lurking on all 3 threads and just want to say how amazing you have been.

I don't have much to add you have gotten some fan advice

I've finally de-lurked after reading all three threads. Lou, you're doing absolutely fantastic considering the rollercoaster you've been on. I'm amazed at how well you've coped. I doubt I could do as well as you.

All the mumsnetters who have offered help, advice or a shoulder to cry on have been brilliant to see (read?) in action :)

I generally don't like being downright crude but in the case of your husband, I'll make an exception.

He's a load his mother should've swallowed, the chutney stealing git.

Now, to inject some humour, who's getting custody of the chutney?!

'a load his mother should have swallowed'

quote of the thread, right up there with 'the chunt', love it.

at thelastraven

Hope you are doing ok Lou and have a restful day tomorrow as you would like.

My biggest concern is that he saw a letter stating that your Dad is thinking if putting money into the mortgage. He will now be able to claim you are in a better financial position and fight for a reduced settlement.

Just to reiterate Lou you should put NOTHING from your parents into your bank account, nothing im writing about any support (can you contact mortage company and way Dad had changed mind?) and ensure you look n the worst possible financial possible.

thelastraven you made me screensplatter my wine!!!!!

Hello, thanks again all for your wonderful advice. Went to my parents for tea, my poor Mum is so angry and irate at the moment that I'm worried about her. She keeps writing him imaginery emails, I keep telling her not to send them (she won't!).

And yes I'm proud of the fact that I've never once begged him back, cried on the phone, told him I love him - none of those things, and I never will. I'm fully expecting a dip at some point, may be in a few weeks when all the adrenelin has died down and I have some quiet time to absorb it all. But I am livid that he and his family are trying to push the blame on me. I will never accept responsibility for his fragile ego, his insecurities, his inability to communicate, his lack of emotional intelligence. Ever. I am worried about the future, about whether I'll keep this house, about whether I'll trust again, about whether I'm attractive or confident enough to go out dating - all these things scare the hell out of me. But I am not going to accept any blame for what he's done.

There, lecture over. I know I keep repeating myself, sorry.

Whilst at my parents I listened to the answerphone message from his Mum. It said 'We've told XX that he needs to contact a solicitor now about removing his other items from the home'. Ok, so what 'other items' are they referring to now? Strongly suspect he'll be after the TV and the computer next. Has this man NO integrity? He's probably walked into a home that's perfectly equipped and functioning very well, but still feels the need to take things away from me that I need. Bastard.

'a load his mother should have swallowed'

Love it!

rowanhart is absolutely right Lou; i mentioned this a few days ago, my parents offered to help me financially and my solicitor said, yes that's lovely, but for god's sake keep it secret, and keep you current account/other accounts to the bare minimum. the less money you have the better, as far as future settlement is concerned. my sol told me to get the lowest valuation on the property too, i.e. go to estate agents who value lower - because again this is in my favour. your ex will try and use it if he can , and you have to keep your cards as close to your chest as possible. i think that is crucial from now on - minimum contact, preferably none with him. tell your lovely parents to stop talking to his or engage with them at all. get this new solicitor on board, and leave it to them. change your scan appt then see how you feel about the baby. get your house as secure as possible, and just try and let him stew in his own (chutney) juices.

Make sure that any family money is classed as a loan whether it is or not. My brother may be giving me some money to make up the shortfall on the mortgage so I can get one in my own name. I will receive this once divorce is trough and mortgage set up. But it will be clearly classed as a loan not a gift.